AWA All Jakked Up Pay-Per-View, Wednesday February 26th, 2003 - The AstroDrome Houston, Texas.

(The show opens up with an outside shot of the impressive Astrodome in Houston, Texas before switching to the rampway in darkness in the arena itself. Suddenly, it is lit up as the pyro’s and lighting come to life, before two solitary yellow spotlights find their way to the Announcer’s Table and AWA Commentators, Frank Jackson and Herb Summers)

FJ – Herb, this is it !!
HS – IT IS…Welcome to the Astrodome in Houston, Texas…Ladies and Gentleman…AND WELCOME TO ALL JAKKED UP 2003 !!
FJ - …and what a line-up we have for you here tonight…The World, US, Television, Hardcore, Cruiserweight, Women’s and Tag Team Titles are on the line in this very arena…
HS - …not to mention a Wal-mart Supercenter Match, a Tables, Ladders and Chairs Invitational and a Cupid’s Resolution Match for the President of the AWA himself, Travis Gray !!
FJ – That’s right…and if those matches on their own aren’t enough. Tonight we will see a Texas Town Meeting Match, a Patriot Games Match, a School of “Hard Knocks” match, a “Bring Your Own B*tch” Tournament…
HS - …and Jack Happy has really excelled himself by also booking a “Love is Blind and it Hurts” Match for the Television Title, a Monster Island Match for the Cruiserweight Title and a “Masters Of The Universe” Tag Team Match
FJ – Oh, I love the Masters of the Universe, Herb
HS – You would. Somehow I don’t think that Tag Team Champions, Notorious share your passion though
FJ – Anyway, a packed line-up lies in front of us, Herb. So in the immortal words of Pink…
HS –Who ?
FJ – Pink…You know ?
HS – What, the colour ?
FJ – No, the singer…Anyway…”LET’S GET THE PARTY STARTED” !!
HS – Ok and the first match up is going to be a “battle of the ages”
FJ: Yes, first up we have the culmination of what has proved to be the most heatedly contested match. After being a late edition to the All Jakked Up card, the Jack Happy Tables, Ladders, and Chairs Invitational participants have stolen the show. Words were being tossed around hitting wrestlers in this match and those not participating in this particular match.
HS: This match could be anyone’s. Diego, KO Kid, Phoenix, Rawstarr, and Tim “The Giant” are all dangerous competitors. After the brutal attack that put the KO Kid on the shelf for a week, he will be looking to get his hands on two of the men responsible. NPD members Rawstarr and Tim “The Giant” know that KO Kid will be looking for them. They pose a threat in this match because they are undoubtedly going to work with each other to try to take the win.
FJ: Phoenix is on a mission to take his anger out on the KO Kid for tearing down the Habitat for Humanity House that he was working on. So, there are plenty of issues to go around that ring tonight. Look at the stuff lying around in there! Can you tell this is All Jakked Up?
HS: I certainly can. (Both men laugh)

We see around the ring folded tables shaped like bowling pins, ladders with rungs that resemble burritos, tables covered by a giant pair of edible underwear, chairs with the image of Britney Spears, Sauvio Mega, Elton John, Stacy Keech, and others.

"Voodoo" By Godsmack starts up as the lights dim to a black and fog makes it's way down the titantron. KO kid appears at the titan tron with his signature black leather cloak with the hood up. KO kid cockily walks down the titantron glaring at the fans as they boo him. KO kid steps over the top rope and pulls a mic out of his deep pockets.

KO kid pulls out a white cowboy hat, places it on his head and then puts on a stupid expression.

KO kid-Howdy Ya'll!

The crowd grows louder as they roar with boo's at him.

KO kid-You know this has got to be one of the dumbest towns I've ever been in! Full of drunk rednecks who can't read or write. And it's stupidity has now grown since Rawstarr and Tim "The Giant" have came here. These morons think they are tough or they have made a name for themselves just because they and 2 other men injured me for a little bit with there pathetic and cheap attack. Now I have got my wish a TLC match with not only Rawstarr and Tim "The Giant" but such men as Diego, Sub-Zero Kevin VE the Golden warrior. Truly this will be a crazy match tonight. Not to mention another victory for me. You can damn well assume I'M BACK!!!

HS: Frank, You have got to wonder what KO kid will pull off.
FJ: Well you heard him "He's Back!".
HS: Although in his drive to be angry at the world, he has lost sight who are the actual competitors are in this match up!

KO Kid reaches over the ropes and hands the microphone to the ring announcer.

"The Red" by Chevelle plays as we see Diego walk out onto the ramp. The fans give a weak positive reaction when seeing him.

FJ: This man is one hell of a physical specimen. He is six-feet six-inches and weighs two hundred sixty-four pounds of solid muscle.
HS: He fists the bill for a man from Venice Beach, California.

Diego enters the ring and he flexes his muscles at the KO Kid. The fans cheer him on. Bizzy Bone’s "When Thugs Cry" and Rawstarr comes running down the ramp and slides into the ring going after KO Kid. The fans give moderate cheer as he charges to the ring and Ms. Rawness walks down toward the ring.

FJ: Rawstarr has jumpstarted this match as he and KO Kid exchange blows.

In the ring, Rawstarr is unleashing a series of kicks to the body of the KO Kid. Diego just watches as 50 cents’ “Wangsta” is heard and Tim “The Giant” comes running n the ramp. Another moderate cheer is heard as Lady C follows slowly behind him. KO Kid has weathered the onslaught of kicks and managed to brush the last one aside. KO Kid with a hard scoop slam on Rawstarr. He climbs into the ring and catches KO turning to face him with a shoulder tackle that puts him on the mat. Diego tired of sitting back and watching the action joins in attacking Tim. Diego connects with a reverse DDT. In the meantime, Rawstarr has returned to his feet seconds before KO. He catches KO with a right hand and the two men begin to exchange blows. Goo Goo Dolls’ “Long Way Down” plays and Phoenix runs down to the ring. The fans cheer the newcomer.

HS: What a reception for this Rookie!

He wastes no time in picking up a chair with the image of Elton John on it and slides into the ring. He nails the KO Kid across the back with the chair before jamming it into the midsection of Rawstarr, as he was about to throw a punch his way. KO Kid staggers away from the chair wielding Phoenix, but he pursues him landing another blow with the chair across the back. KO Kid’s back is arched in pain as he tries to evade his attacker. Rawstarr doubled over is hoisted into the air by Diego and sent crashing down with a double under hook power bomb. Rawstarr rolls out of the ring to the outside. Diego turns around and Tim “the Giant” hits him with a spear.

FJ: What a spear!!!
HS: Ewww, Phoenix with another wicked chair blow!

KO Kid finally falls to the mat after taking five blows to the back with the metal chair. The distorted image of Elton John, on the twisted chair, mocking him as Phoenix discards it. Phoenix pulls KO Kid up and catches a thumb to the eye. KO Kid sidewalk slams Phoenix onto the twisted metal and rolls out of the ring. KO Kid on the outside walks around the ring trying to buy some time. He sees Rawstarr on the outside sliding a ladder into the ring. KO charges and takes him down with running double axe handle. Inside the ring, Tim has Diego up and Gorilla Press Slams him to the mat. Phoenix having recovered from the sidewalk slam seizes the opportunity and takes Tim down with a diving shoulder tackle. Phoenix stomps away at Tim as Diego rolls out of the ring and begins to set up a table ringside.

FJ: Diego has something in mind!

KO Kid has pulled Rawstarr up and rams his head into the ladder that is almost completely in the ring. The Rawstarr’s head bounces off the unforgiving metal. KO maintains his grip on Rawstarr and whips him into the metal ring stairs. Rawstarr hits hard landing back first. He slumps against the stairs. He stalks slowly toward the hurting Rawstarr, but is cut off by Ms. Rawness who pleads with him.

FJ: What is she doing?
HS: Buying some time for her wrestler. Look at Lady C!!

Lady C has crept up behind the KO Kid and has gotten down on all fours. As KO Kid is about to shove her out of the way, she charges into him with all of her might. KO is sent backwards tripping over the back of Lady C. The two women laugh and run as Rawstarr slides back into the ring. The fans cheer the creativity of the ladies of NPD. Inside the ring, Tim is being stomped by Phoenix. Rawstarr picks up the ladder and charges across the ring slamming the ladder into Phoenix. KO angrily gets to his feet and slides into the ring after Rawstarr. Rawstarr raises the ladder again bringing it down on Phoenix. Phoenix is against the ropes. Rawstarr raises the ladder and tries to bring it down but KO has grabbed it from behind. Rawstarr looks over his shoulder and sees the angry face of KO Kid. KO slams the ladder down on top of Rawstarr’s head. Diego drags Tim to the outside of the ring. He sends Tim to the concrete with a snap suplex. Tim lands hard.

FJ: Diego is in control of Tim on the outside near the table!

Rawstarr sinks to the mat after the big blow letting the ladder remain in KO’s grasp. Phoenix springing off the ropes executes a turn around superkick into the ladder. The ladder is slammed into KO’s face and he is sent to the mat. Phoenix grabs the ladder and sets it up. He pulls Rawstarr up and plants him in front of the ladder with a DDT. KO Kid is dazed but manages to get to his knees as he sees Phoenix beginning to climb the ladder. KO Kid times it perfectly and as Phoenix is perched ready to strike Rawstarr, he topples the ladder. Phoenix lands hard on the mat. A satisfied smile spreads across KO’s face as he applies the Walls of Jericho to Phoenix. On the outside, Diego drags Tim over toward the table. Diego is about to pull Tim up, but Rawstarr breaks it up by springing off the top rope and dropping the double axe handle across his back. Tim and Rawstarr double team Diego with a flurry of kicks and knife-edge chops. Finally, the hoist Diego and power bomb him through the table with the edible underwear on it. Diego is left in the wreckage.

HS: Diego has just fell victim to the NPD!!

Inside the ring, Phoenix struggles in the Walls of Jericho. KO finally releases the hold and Phoenix falls to the mat clutching his back. Tim and Rawstarr slide into the ring just and pick up the ladder. KO kid turns around in time to see Tim and Rawstarr charging toward him with the ladder. He ducks under the attempt to clothesline him with the ladder and the two men have to put on the breaks. A superkick from KO sends the metal ladder into Tim’s face causing him to drop his end of the ladder and to fall to the mat. Rawstarr is forced to drop his end of the ladder. But he isn’t quick enough to mount any offense, as KO catches him with a big right hand. He is staggered and KO Kid grabs Rawstarr by the neck and delivers a chokeslam. While this is going on, Phoenix has managed to grab the metal chair and climb the top rope. He catches with a Vandaminator coming off the top rope!!

FJ: Oh my God!!

Tim crumples to the mat busted open. KO covers Rawstarr 1..2..and Rawstarr manages to kickout. KO climbs to his feet and Phoenix executes a spinning belly-to-belly suplex. On the outside, Diego begins to stir in the wreckage. Lady C and Ms. Rawness pound the ring apron trying to refocus their men. Ms. Rawness slides a Brittany Spears chair into Rawstarr who is lying on his side and shaking his head trying to clear the cobwebs. Diego manages to roll into the ring. Phoenix rolls to the outside and pulls out a bowling pin shaped table. He slides it back into the ring and climbs back in. KO has slowly gotten back to his feet and is waiting for him. KO and Phoenix begin to exchange blows once again while the NPD is one the mat. Diego summons enough strength to go across the ring and set up the discarded table.

HS: Diego is back in this match.
FJ: Who is this walking down to the ring?
HS: It’s G8! We haven’t seen KO Kid’s manager at ringside in quite a while.
FJ: He is after the ladies of NPD.

G8 chases Lady C and Ms. Rawness back up the aisle and to the back. Rawstarr is back up and catches Phoenix from behind with a chair shot. Diego grabs KO from behind and attempts to pull him up into a cradle DDT. But KO reverses it; he turns it into a sidewalk slam. Phoenix is sent back into the ropes and Rawstarr connects with another chair shot that sends Phoenix toppling over the top rope. Tim is back to his feet but is sent back down by a full nelson slam. While this is going on Rawstarr readies the chair, he nails KO in the head with the chair. Diego is back up and grabs the ladder. He runs over Rawstarr with the Ladder. Tim rolls to the outside where Phoenix lays trying to clear his head. Tim moving slowly himself walks over and pulls him to his feet. Tim drives Phoenix back first into the ring apron. Phoenix sinks and Tim begins to rain down right hands. Phoenix collapses to the cement. Tim begins to look around for something. His eye catches the table with Jack Happy’s masked face on it. He sets the table up next to where Phoenix is trying to use the ring apron to get back to his feet.

HS: Tim has Phoenix in trouble on the outside! KO Kid and Rawstarr down on the inside! These men are moving very slow now, as this grueling match has taken its toll on them.

Tim climbs up on the ring apron and reaches down pulling Phoenix up by his short black hair. Phoenix is up on the apron and manages to get a knee into Tim’s midsection. He follows up with a hotshot that has Tim sputtering. A clothesline takes Tim down as he hits the apron and falls to the floor. Phoenix slowly climbs down and pulls Tim up for a piledriver on the concrete. The fans react with an Ohhhh!

FJ: I don’t know if Tim will recover from that devastating move!

Inside the ring, Diego is using the ladder to get his revenge on Rawstarr. He is trying to injure the leg as he continuously drives the ladder down onto it. KO Kid has begun to pull himself up with the ropes. He steadies himself and walks up behind Diego. Diego finally feels that someone is behind him and begins to turn around, but KO Kid connects with the Sidekick. Diego drops the ladder and appears out on his feet. With fluidity KO Kid pulls Diego into an outsiders edge and brings him down hard.

HS: KO Kid may have this one with that sequence of moves!

Rawstarr lies on the mat in pain unable to get to his feet. KO Kid pulls Diego up and executes the Amplifier.

FJ: It’s the Amplifier!! He covers 1..2. Phoenix stomping away at the downed Giant notices a little to late as he slides into the ring. 3! A split second before Phoenix kicks KO in the face trying to break the count. KO rolls over clutching his face as blood streams from his nose.

Announcer: Your winner KO Kid!!

Phoenix grimaces and throws his hands in disgust before rolling out of the ring and instead of heading back up the rampway, he jumps the barricade, back into the crowd to sign a few autographs. In the ring the referee is raising KO’s arm as he stares a hole in Phoenix’s back. Rawstarr lays clutching his leg as Tim is still down unconscious on the outside of the ring.

(The shot cuts backstage where we see Sauvio, the International Man of Pleasure walking with former Tag Team and Women’s Champion, “Lustful” Laura. The camera zooms in as we see Sauvio show Laura his new brand of designer cologne, Desperation No. 69. The scene cuts back to Frank and Herb

FJ – What was that about ?
HS – I think Sauvio’s planning on woo-ing the ladies here tonight…I think he’s on the “pull”
FJ – Anyway, lets get right on with the show, because up next we have the Monsters Island Match for the AWA Cruiserweight Champion
HS – That’s right. Dark Warrior will put his title on the line in just a few minutes against Mickey Showery and AWA newcomers, Daredevil and Javex Valerius…
FJ - …but let’s not forget the impact that the five “Monsters” in this match will have. They have a unique part to play as well

"Last Resort" by Papa Roach plays as Daredevil quickly walks down the rampway to small scattered boos from the crowd. He gets into the ring and bounces around slightly awaiting his opponents. "Tall Cans in the Air" by Transplants plays as "Filthy" Mickey Showery walks down the rampway to a decent pop from the crowd. The camera moves from Mickey and shows several of the signs the audience is holding complimenting him. "B.O.B" by OutKast plays as Javex slowly makes his way down to the ring. He receives a small pop although it seems like the AWA audience is still trying to figure out what to make of this young new star. He gets in the ring and goes to an opposite corner from Mickey and Daredevil. Only God Can Judge Me by Tupac plays as Dark Warrior comes out to a HUGE pop from the crowd. He grins widely and holds his cruiserweight title belt in the air. Then he walks down the rampway and enters the ring after handing his belt to the referee.

You and me baby ain't nothing but mammals So let's do it like they do it on the Discovery Channel

HS-"Wow! Every last competitor in this fight looks pumped, primed and ready to do damage. Who will be victorious in this cruiserweight title match?!"
FJ-"And here comes out enforcers of this matchup! Here to make sure that when you're out you stay out!"

Suddenly the five enforcers of this match start walking down the rampway Godzilla leading the pack. Godzilla, King Kong, Ghidrah, Mothra, and Rodan. They all take seperate corners or side of the ring with Godzilla blocking the entrance way. The bell rings and the match begins.

Dark Warrior and Daredevil immediately begin attacking each other while Javex and Mickey are more so on the other side of the ring. Dark Warrior and Daredevil are trading punches until DD surprises him with the throat thrust. DW drops slightly to his knees and DD immediately clocks him with a vicious right hook sending DW sprawling to the floor. DD kicks on him a couple of times and a drops an elbow into his sternum. Then he picks DW up and delivers an explosive Evenflow DDT. DW slumps to the floor seemingly unconscious. 1-2-1/2 kickout.

FJ-"Whew! That was close. DW's title reign nearly came to an abrupt end."
HS-"Yes it definitely looks like Daredevil came here with a point to prove."

DD slams the mat in frustration. Meanwhile Javex and Mickey are going at it. No moves, no hesitation, no calculations no plans just an all out brawl and the crowd is loving it. They're rolling around on the floor punching the hell out of each other until finally both competitors get up and slowly back away. Then they charge at each other again each one trying to get that edge or find a weakness. But neither one is giving the other any give. There desire to win this match is showing with each viscious shot. Finally Mickey surprises Javex and with a well aimed kick in the groin. Mickey follows it up with a ferocious clothesline that sends Javex's head flying into the mat. Javex rolls in agony holding his head. Mickey immediately stomps him in the back of his neck and then picks him up. He gives him a knife edge chop and then executes a belly-to-belly suplex that has the crowd groaning as they can almost feel the pain Javex must be in. Mickey quickly goes for the cover 1-2 kickout. Mickey chokes Javex and pushes him into the canvas. He then goes for the cover again. 1-2 kickout. Mickey slaps Javex in frustration causing an echoing sound throughout the arena.

FJ-"Damn. Javex just got the crap pimp slapped out of him. He can't feel happy about that."
HS-"Yeah this is rather rare for Mickey. He really wants this match. I don't know if I've ever seen him this focused."

Meanwhile on the other side of the ring DD is still taking it to DW. DW is laying on the ground barely able to move while DD is on the top rope. He jumps off and gives DW a Swanton bomb. DW screams loudly in pain as DD quickly goes for the cover. 1-2 2/3- kickout.

HS-"Whoa!! That was even closer then before. What is DW doing in there? He's getting decimated."
FJ-"Yeah Daredevil is really catching him off guard. He better recover quickly if he expects to keep the title.

DD picks DW up and reaches back to deliver another punch when DW pushes him into the ropes and in a desperation move delivers a rather sloppy clothesline that has just enough power to send DD over the ropes. DD spills over the ropes outside the ring as the crowd "oohs" at the sight of what must have been a painful situation. DW lays on the floor motionless trying to catch his breathe and regain control. On the other side of the ring Javex has gained completely advantage over Mickey by ducking a Clothesline From Hell, bouncing off the ropes, and delivering what looked like an excruciatingly painful Gore. Mickey looks like the entire has been knocked out of him. However Javex cannot take advantage of the situation because it looked like the move took a lot out of him as well. Finally he goes for the cover but Mickey immediately kicks out. The two competitors rise and Mickey immediately swings a punch at Javex but it's easily side-stepped and Mickey receives a Capture Suplex because of his mistake. Javex then picks Mickey up and gives him a Snap Suplex. He goes for the cover. 1-2-

All 5 monsters look primed and ready to do all possible bodily harm they can to Mickey-

Kickout.

The monsters shake their heads and even through their masks they looks disgusted.

Javex also doesn't look very pleased as he drags Mickey more towards the centre of the ring. He looks towards DW and sees that he's still recovering and would probably make no move to attack him. Then he climbs on the tope rope and waits until Mickey finally stumbles to his feet. Then he gives Mickey a perfectly executed Tope rope hurricanranna into a triangle hold.

HS-" Sincerity!!! Wow Javex is putting on a show!!"

Mickey groggily breaks the hold and the two stumble to their feet. Javex goes for a clothesline but Mickey ducks it and bounces off the ropes on the other side of the ring. He attempts a flying lariat but Javex side-steps that and then he bounces off the ropes on the other side of the ring. Mickey quickly regains his balance and bounces off the ropes. Both competitors come flying at each other, each with their own clotheslines, each clothesline landing on the other competitors throat/chin region perfectly. The impact knocks both Javex and Mickey out completely. As they lay on the ring floor side-by-side.

Meanwhile outside the ring DD is getting his ass handed to him by King Kong. Other monsters are on their way. King Kong brings up a HUGE hairy fist and sends it smashing into his skull. Godzilla comes along and pushes Kong out the way gleefully to get a piece of the action. Mothra and Rodan soon follow until DD pushes up out the pile as best he can and scrambles into the ring. DW is right there waiting for him and wastes no time. DD is still on his knees. DW gives him a swift kick in the throat that makes DD lose all ability to breathe that he has. Then DW picks him up and delivers a Cradle Piledriver. Then DW immediately drags him out a little from the ropes but not in the centre of the ring where Javex was about to perform Sincerity. Then he immediately locks on a Figure Four leg lock.

HS-"Darkness."
FJ-"It's over. Put another DW victim in the books. He'll squirm. He'll scream. He'll cry. And then he'll tap."

And as if DD himself had heard FJ he taps out and is therefore eliminated.. In a malicious move DW slings DD BACK out through the ropes to the crowd of monsters that were destroying him in the first place. Amazingly the monsters give DD room to leave the ring obviously no longer interested in him. He slowly walks to the rampway with his head hanging. Suddenly he turns back around and runs into the ring!! He runs up on DW from behind and immediately delivers an elbow to the back of DW's head. He stumbles slightly but then turns to face DD and deliver a simply devastating Half Gore. It's a half Gore because while he rams his shoulder into DD's stomach he doesn't let go of DD's body. Instead he simply LIFTS DD up on his shoulder and throws him over the ropes!!!!

HS-"Oh my God!!! In a move of pure power DW teaches DD a lesson in respect!!!"
FJ-"Now that was embarrassing"

DD lays in front of the ring surrounding by 5 very large and very angry monsters. He has about five seconds to look upon his fate before all of them commence to giving him the ass whipping of a lifetime. King Kong is the first one there as he picks up DD and throws him into a nearby rail. Then Mothra comes up and gives him several swift kicks in the guts sending him to the floor. Then Rodan picks him up and takes him to the rampway. Rodan then delivers a vicious Inverted DDT right into the metal. A loud clang sound echo’s throughout the arena. Ghidrah then comes up on the rampway and picks up DD. He drags him to the tope of the rampway and then picks him up in a powerbomb position. Then he turns around so that he's facing the rampway and drives DD down headfirst into the metal rampway. Fans seated in the front closer to the action immediately bring their hands to their ears as the sound of bone and skin meeting metal sends shivers down their spine. A trail of blood slowly leaks down the rampway. Finally Godzilla walks up the rampway. He raises his hand and roars over the body of DD. Then he reaches down towards it and acts like he's about to do some type of high powered move. Then he puts a single finger on the body of DD. Ghidrah makes the count. 1-2-3. All five monsters laugh at the horrible spectacle and doctors run out with a stretcher to assist the damaged DD.

Meanwhile in the ring DW and Javex are squaring off. They're trading off punches when suddenly Mickey runs up and gives both of them a clothesline. Javex just falls to the canvas but it sends DW over the ropes at Mothra's side in front of the rampway. He climbs to his feet but Mothra comes over and kicks him in the groin. He doubles over as Mothra takes off the head of the costume revealing the wrestler inside to be NIGHTMARE!!! She paint brushes him across the face and then spits on him before quickly walking back up the aisle just before King Kong reaches there. King Kong checks on Dark Warrior quickly and then runs up the rampway after Mothra.

FJ: Oh my God!! It's Nightmare! Crimson Dreams' long time associate! What is she doing here?
HS: What does this spell for Dark Warrior? The last time Crimson Dream was in the AWA, he left him in an exploding building and walked away with the US Title! Is this a message that Crimson Dream is returning to the AWA? And why the hell is King Kong running after Nightmare?!
FJ: Dark Warrior can't think about that right now! He is in the middle of defending his title against some stiff opposition!

As Mickey and Javex are squaring off in the ring the AWA-Tron shows backstage King Kong chasing after Nightmare as best he can in the huge rather clumsy costume. Nightmare easily reaches a long stretch limousine and easily drives out of the arena. King takes a moment to rest before cursing under his breath. Suddenly Omnipotent runs up beside King Kong to boos from the crowd.

Omni-"What the hell happened?!!!"

King Kong takes off his mask to reveal himself to be Renegade. He's still breathing heavily from the chase.

Renegade-"Apparently we have problems. Big problems if this means what I think it means."

The AWA-Tron fades as the crowd now focuses more on the match at hand. All three competitors are on their feet circling in the ring. DW immediately turns his attention to Mickey and gives him a Super Kick right into the jaw sending him stumbling into the ropes. Then he turns towards Javex and delivers a series of right and left hands backing him into a corner. Then he begins to stomp on Javex relentlessly. He picks Javex up and puts him on the top turnbuckle. Then he gives Javex a Super Belly-To-Belly Suplex driving him into the mat. He’s about to go for the cover when Mickey comes over in a rage and gives him a devastating shoulder block. He begins relentlessly stomping and punching on DW until DW starts to fight back with blows of his own. The brawl sprawls out of the ring to the canvas outside. The King Kong/Renegade is back now at one side of the ring making sure the monsters stay out of the way. Finally DW gains the advantage and swings Mickey into a rail nearby. Mickey screams in pain at the impact of his lower back hitting the railing. DW clocks him in the jaw viscously and you can hear him say “Shut the f*ck up!”. Then he drags Mickey back into the ring…only to be meet with a clothesline by Javex as soon as he enters the ring himself!! Javex and Mickey immediately team up on DW stomping and punching on him. DW fights back and for a moment stalls the inevitable. But slowly they overpower him until he can barely fight back. Javex picks him up and delivers a vicious Savat Kick. Gloria Por Dolor.

FJ-“And vats all folks!!!”

Javex immediately goes for the cover. 1-2 kickout!!!

FJ-“Oh my God!!! DW kicked out of it!”
HS-“Despite all the beating and the pounding he’s taken he still refuses to give up! Despite the hopelessness of his situation he still won’t let go!!!”

Javex looks around in disbelief and anger. Mickey shakes his head in disgust as he picks DW up and pushes him into a corner. Then he delivers a series of body chops to DW’s neck, head and stomach. Then finally he turns DW towards the centre of the ring and delivers an uppercut that sends DW flying to the centre to “ooohs” from the crowd. Fightin Irish. Javex is about to go for the pin but Mickey shakes his finger. He goes to an opposite corner and waits for DW to stumble up. When DW finally staggers up Mickey comes back to him at a quick pace and leaps up spinning around the shoulders of DW into a Hurricane DDT. Boondock Drop. Mickey immediately goes for the cover. 1-2-3. Dark Warrior is eliminated. Mickey slides DW”s body out the ring smiling with a look of satisfaction. The second DW’s body leaves the ring floor Javex gives him a savage kick in the back of the head. Javex and Showery begin to trade punches and chops. You can feel the tension rising as the two competitors know that now they’re truly fighting to see how will be the next AWA Cruiserweight champion.

Meanwhile outside the ring DW is stumbling up only to see Godzilla charge at him and deliver a vicious clothesline. He begins stomping on DW only to be Gored from behind by King Kong/Renegade. Then Rodan and Ghidrah include themselves in the brawl for just no reason at all. All five competitors are just going at it punching and swinging at anything in their vicinity that is moving. Things get dangerous when the brawl suddenly spills out into the crowd. King Kong and Godzilla fight over a railing into the crowd nearby. Security desperately tries to move out of the way but now some of the male members of the crowd are pissed and they’re attacking Godzilla, DW and Renegade. Rodan and Ghidrah jump over the railings and soon it’s AWA wrestlers and AWA fans!!! Security is desperately trying to break it up but the fans are almost as vicious about the situation as the wrestlers!!! Godzilla is swinging and stomping on every man who comes in his past!! King Kong is knocking and stomping on every single moving object. Rodan and Ghidrah are wreaking havoc within the audience!! Omnipotent has come from backstage and now he’s involved in the brawl!!!! Everybody in the front two rows is fighting including the security!!!

FJ-“GODZILLA’S ATTACKING TEXAS!!!! KING KONG IS STOMPING ON HOUSTON. AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!”
HS-“SOMEBODY CALL SECURITY AND STOP THIS MESS!”

Finally SWARMS of security come from back stage and immediately break up the fight and begin arresting everybody involved in the scrambled including the monsters. They also begin pulling off the masks. DW, Omni and Renegade are hauled away. Rodan is demasked and reveals himself to be Tim “The Giant”. Ghidrah is demasked to reveal himself to be Big Bull Biessman. Godzilla is unmasked and revealed to be Rival to cheers(and boos) of recognition from the crowd. The crowd settles down and finally turns its attention back towards the match.

Mickey and Javex haven’t even given the situation a second look. They’re both still going at it but now the wear and tear of the match is starting to show. Both competitors are weary. Their punches look slow and weak. Mickey is desperately gasping for breath. Javex is heaving and damn near has his hands on his knees.

FJ-“Both competitors are wearing down! Who can pull it out?!!!”
HS-“In the end it may not even be their decision.”
FJ-“Huh? What are you blabbering about?”
HS-“Don’t forget about the 30 minute limit. We’re down to about 27 maybe 28. If this match doesn’t end soon it will be decided by the monsters. And they’re temporarily…unable to judge the contest.”
FJ-“One of these competitors better come out on top soon!!”

Mickey delivers a slow sloppy throat thrust to Javex. Then he delivers an Inverted DDT into a sleeper hold. He holds it for about 15 seconds before finally letting go. He goes to he top rope and jumps for a top rope elbow but Javex moves out the way!!! Mickey hits the mat hard and screams in pain while holding his elbow. Javex stays on the floor a few more seconds the heaves himself up. He lightly kicks Mickey a couple of times then he slowly picks Mickey up and performs a sloppy Vertical Suplex where he basically let Mickey go once he hoisted him up.

FJ-“That almost looked more like a brainbuster. It certainly served it’s purpose though.”
HS-“Yeah it looks like we might have a winner. He better hurry though!! Only a minute left!!!”

Javex goes to the top rope. He waits for Mickey to get up and them attempts a Missile Drop Kick. But Mickey in a move of pure athleticism side-steps it and then gives him a sideways Gore into the ring floor!!!

FJ-“Oh!! What an incredible move!!! Mickey in a state of desperation trying to pull out this victory!!!”
HS-“Only 30 seconds left!!!”

Mickey tries to get up again but stumble to the floor. He finally stumbles up but his knees are still slightly wobbly. He drags Javex to the middle of the floor and slices his throat in a single that he’s going to end the match. He climbs to the top rope and braces himself. Then he executes a Top-Rope Summersault Seaton Bomb right into Javex’s centre.. Javex barely even moves. He’s completely knocked out. Mickey goes for the cover. 1-2-3. “Filthy” Mickey Showery is your new AWA World Cruiserweight Champion.

HS – Wow, what a match…and Mickey Showery’s hard work has finally paid off. He is the new AWA Cruiserweight Champion
FJ – The champion should still be Dark Warrior !
HS – How can you sit their and deny Mickey his moment of glory ?
FJ - …
HS – Anyway, next up we have the first of tonight’s “Bring Your Own B*tch” Semi-Finals
FJ: This should be good. Mrs. Rawness is finally in the ring with “Lethal” Louise. After what we saw on the last card, these women are eager to get their hands on each other.
HS: Mrs. Rawness coming to the aid of her stable mate Lady C and put “Lethal” Louise in the Raw footage! Louise couldn’t free herself from that hold and only escaped it with the assistance of Darkest Desire. Since that time, Louise has been brooding about it.
FJ: As if that wasn’t enough, the winner of this match competes for the AWA Women’s Title.

"That Don't Impress Me Much" by Shania Twain plays and “Lethal” Louise accompanied by C-Rock walk toward the ring. C-Rock is wearing an “I’m with the Bitch” t-shirt. Louise walks directly to the ring not paying any attention to the jeering and cheering crowd. C-Rock holds the ropes to allow her to enter.

Bizzy Bones’ “When Thugz Cry” plays as Mrs. Rawness comes out accompanied with Rawstarr who is wearing the same t-shirt as C-Rock. She runs down the ramp and slides into the ring going straight at Louise. The two women begin to swing at each other neither woman getting the better of the other. They grab each other attempting to gain the advantage over the other for a moment. Mrs. Rawness grabs Louise’s hand and applies the finger four! Louise face grimaces as pain begins to numb her fingers and Rawness begins to force her with the pressure. Louise breaks the hold by shooting a knee to the midsection. Rawness doubles over and Louise takes her over with a fisherman’s suplex. Both women up quickly and Rawness charges in Louise catches her with a kick and then a knee to the midsection. Rawness doubles over and Louise springs into the ropes taking her down with a bulldog.

HS: Mrs. Rawness is new to the ring but she started this match without wasting any time.
FJ: Not only that, but starting with a painful opening move “the finger four”.
Both men laugh.
HS: It did look painful enough didn’t it.

In the ring, Louise is pulling Rawness up. Rawness unleashes a low blow. A high kick to the side of the head sends Louise down. Rawness begins to stomp away at her fallen foe. On the outside of the ring, Rawstarr cheers her on by yelling words of encouragement. Rawness goes to drop an elbow but Louise rolls out of the way. Louise back to her feet catches Rawness getting to her feet with a roundhouse slap. SMACK…the sound echoes in the arena. Rawness fires off a slap of her own. Louise responds with another one. Rawness goes to slap her but Louise with a knee to the midsection and a DDT. Rawness’ head is driven into the mat.

FJ: Ohh, Rawness is out classed here tonight. Look at her wobbling after that move.

In the ring, Louise has pulled a dazed Rawness to her feet. Louise whips her into the turnbuckles and follows her in ramming the knee to the midsection. Louise repeatedly rams the knee to the midsection before connecting with some big time slaps across the face further dazing her. A running bulldog by Louise and Rawness is down. Louise kicks her over onto her back and runs to the turnbuckles. She climbs up top and taunts the crowd who boo her heavily before she leaps off.

HS: Look at her in their although she clearly outclasses the rookie, does she really have to rub it in by taunting the fans.
FJ: No body home!!

Rawness rolls out toward Rawstarr who is pounding the mat and calling her name. Louise lands on her backside and winces as the pain hits. Rawness rolls out of the ring and Rawstarr wraps an arm around her while whispering some instruction into her ear. Rawness slides back into the ring and both women get to their two feet at the same time. They lock up and Louise whips Rawness towards the ropes. Rawness clings to the ropes. Another low blow by Rawness as Louise walks into a low kick. A belly to back suplex by Rawness followed by a few stomps as the referee admonishes Rawness for the blatant low blow. Louise weathers the storm of kicks to get to her feet. Rawness attempts another kick only to have it blocked by Louise. Louise executes a fisherman’s suplex and applies the reverse chin lock. Rawness shrieks in pain but refuses to give up. Louise unable to make her submit whips her once again into the corner. Louise charges in again with the big knee into the midsection. Before rocking her with a few right hand slaps. Louise hoists the dazed Rawness to the top turnbuckle. She cocks back and connects with another big time slap..SMACK!! Louise climbs the turnbuckles and manoeuvres Rawness so she can execute her move. Frankensteiner!!

HS: I can’t believe what we just saw from Louise!!

Louise doesn’t cover but instead quickly applies the figure four leg lock. Rawness tries to fight the hold but soon succumbs to the intense pain and taps out.

FJ: Louise advances showing her dominance over an inexperienced Mrs. Rawness.
HS- …but she’ll meet her match in the next round
FJ – We’ll see about that, Herb

The AWA fanatics hold their banners and plackards high for the boom-camreas as they sweep over the broiling mass at ringside. The fever pitch intensity of this mob is evident in their faces and voices, but still manages to rise to new heights as the referee for the next match makes his way into the ring; special guest referee and Highlighter, RENEGADE!! as he talks with other ring officials assistants tie off two long leather straps to a pair of Olympic standard boxing gloves on Renegades hands. The official and Renegade exchange some hushed words before the ties on the gloves and the knots of the leather straps are checked and all present are happy with the setup. The first of the men enters onto stage to the tune of "Revelation (Mother Earth)" by Ozzy Osbourne.

FRANK: I don't think SHADOW is happy about this evenings dress code
HERB: It is just one of the stipulations that Jack Happy has put on this match between SHADOW and MISERY. And I don't think either man is going to argue the point with RENEGADE in the ring.
FRANK: Are you trying to say that SHADOW And MISERY would honour Happy’s stipulations?
HERB: Well we are talking about SHADOW, MISERY and the word 'honour' in the same sentence. They are not often seen together if you know what I mean?
FRANK: Sheesh, a man commits a few ambushes, and backstage attacks and they're branded for life heh he he he heh he he..

In the ring SHADOW faces off with the referee RENEGADE and is then informed that one of his arms is to be tied off. Soon SHADOW and RENEGADE are bound to each other as "What's this life for ?" by Creed blasts out over the speakers and MISERY sporting the same ring attire as SHADOW appears much to the amusement of the fans. The heart-patterned tights worn by both competitors results in wolf whistles and some very interesting cats calls from the public. MISERY tries his best not to rise to the bait but when he gets in the ring RENEGADE has to raise one gloved fist in warning as MISERY begins to voice a protest about the stipulations. Very soon all three men are arguing until RENEGADE lays in a few shoves to seperate SHADOW and MISERY and orders the assistants to tie off MISERY.

FRANK: I don't think MISERY likes this?
HERB: Poor little MISERY. He thinks the whole world is out to get him, but this should even the playing field as they're both blind-folded.
FRANK: Oh look there's even some cute white frills on the edges of those masks. Don't they both look so very pretty, HERB?
HERB: I thought this was a wrestling match heh heh Looks like they're both getting ready for bed wearing those heart PJ's and nightmasks heh he he he he.
FRANK: Didn't you have dream about this sort of set up once, HERB??
HERB: What you talking about Willace!?

With both MISERY and SHADOW blindfolded and bound to the boxing glove clad RENEGADE the assistants leave the ring. and the bell is rung to begin the match. Both men charge in mistiming their attack and crashing into each other; stunned for brief moment MISERY and SHADOW soon start swinging away with STRAIGHT PUNCHES. Surprisingly many of the blows connect and soon both men have battered each other to their knees much to the delight of the fans who rise at this berserk display.. The upper hand is soon SHADOW’S as he lands a number of Power Jabs that force MISERY to back off. SHADOW rises and lunges in with a Swift Roundhouse Kick but MISERY is still on his knees and the kick passes close over his head. SHADOW follows through and his leg gets caught in the strap, pulling RENEGADE in. RENEGADE shoves SHADOW clear and raise his forearms to block SHADOW’S Power Jabs easily before grabbing him and removing his mask to warn him. SHADOW backs off but ceases the opportunity of sight to haul MISERY up into an Implant Double-Arm DDT!!

HERB: SHADOW nails MISERY with his Shadow Descent!!
FRANK: SHADOW answering when opportunity knocked there when RENEGADE warning him off. RENEGADE obviously not wanting to do MISERY's work for him and unfortunately may have done all of SHADOW’S by warning him off.
HERB: RENEGADE restraining himself there FRANK, he's got to remember he aint wearing those boxing gloves as a fashion statement.

SHADOW goes for the pin on MISERY but RENEGADE steps in and cuts SHADOW off denying him the pin and pointing to his mask and audible shouting at him to replace it or forfeit the match to MISERY!! SHADOW reluctantly replaces the blindfold and drops to the canvas to cover MISERY but his opponent has rolled enough to dodge him and is struggling to his feet. RENEGADE manoeuvres in an effort not to be caught again as MISERY regains his composure and SHADOW scrambles about on the floor vainly seeking the downed MISERY. SHADOW is quickly clued in by the laughter of the crowd and cusses at how he must look then gets to his feet only to meet MISERY and a scuffle of weak Forearm Smashes and abortive grapples results in MISERY pulling his opponent into a Choke Sleeper Hold which fuels the crowd and has RENEGADE checking MISERY's hold, but barely has he done so when MISEY launches SHADOW skyward to be dropped in a devastating DDT!! Grabbing SHADOW by his hair MISERY pulls SHADOW to his feet and lays a stern Kick to his opponent midsection before pulling home another DDT! Rolling SHADOW the ref is down to count MISERY's pin: SHADOW raises his shoulder on the two count! MISERY stands and STOMPS on SHADOW.

FRANK He shouldn't have let go. SHADOW manages to roll out from under MISERY and MISERY looks like he’s square dancing all by himself there
HERB: …

SHADOW somehow catches MISERY's rising knee and lifts him into a Powerbomb! Lifting him from the mat SHADOW ties MISERY into a Samoan Drop that lands both men onto the straps and pulls in the ref creating a mess of arms and legs. RENEGADE manages to free himself and does not look happy and while MISERY and SHADOW tussle and brawl on the mat trying to land punches on each other like a couple of kids in the school yard RENEGADE finds his arms bing yanked this way and that by the struggle and is brought down hard more than once and never gently.

FRANK: I don't think RENEGADE is happy in there HERB!?
HERB: RENEGADE being pulled in all directions by the brawling MISERY and SHADOW. Those straps proving to be more a hindrance to the special guest referee I reckon we're about to find just exactly why Jack Happy added those straps in as the stipulation .
FRANK: Now you're seeing conspiracies Herb.

RENEGADE suddenly grabs the top rope and yanks MISERY free of the melee on the mat. As MISERY struggles to his feet RENEGADE steps in with a rocking Upper cut and MISERY falls back to the mat. The crowd screams it's delight and the cheers peak as RENEGADE turns his attention on SHADOW, who is still trying to punch out MISERY.. Lifting SHADOW from the mat, RENEGADE shouts something at him that is lost in the uproar of the fans, but SHADOW doesn't seem to be hearing what RENEGADE is shouting. As he repeats it the frustration on his face grows until finally the situation is resolved by a Straight Punch to SHADOWS jaw that knocks him into MISERY.. RENEGADE stands over the two floored wrestlers and begins to count the pair out and the crowd shouts out his count with him. At five the two men begin to roll to their knees and soon find each other again. SHADOW locks in an ARM BAR hold and brings MISERY back down to the mat. Pressing his weight on the hold he grinds MISERY's face into the canvass and shouts for the rev to ask MISERY to submit; MISERY shakes his head denying the submission, but RENEGADE keeps asking....MISERY starts to press himself from the mat by one hand despite the pressure of SHADOW’S hold then tucks under to roll SHADOW into a Small Package. RENEGADE dodges the straps and slaps the mat to count out SHADOW but SHADOW powers out at one! MISERY rises quickly to try a nail and Elbow on SHADOW but nobody is there and MISERY hits hard. SHADOW locks in on MISERY's pain and drops a Knee to the back of MISERY's head that sends him sprawling. The taught straps pulls both RENEGADE and SHADOW after MISERY, and SHADOW uses the momentum to execute a Flying Drop Kick that again slams MISERY across the mat towards the turnbuckle.

HERB: I think this is gonna get ugly if these men keep hauling the ref around the ring like that.
FRANK: RENEGADE is doing a great job making these two stay in the boundaries of President Greys stipulation FRANK but he sure as heck is doing such a great job keeping his own temper in check; I think maybe that's what Gray had in mind .... RENEGADE is intervening again and MISERY is getting another chance as RENEGADE taps SHADOW on his shoulder and distracts MISERY's opponent...

While RENEGADE chews SHADOW a new one MISERY is seen slipping the knot of the strap clear of his wrist and begins to stalk SHADOW. MISERY stays low and nudges the blindfold up just enough to see down his nose; suddenly MISERY bursts into action and wraps the strap around SHADOW’S throat and locks in a Choke Hold. RENEGADE moves away but does not look happy. MISERY pulls tighter on the strap but keeps SHADOW between himself and the referee, then pushing SHADOW from him he jerks the strap and hauls SHADOW backwards off of his feet and slams him matwards in an improvised Choke-Back Drop!! RENEGADE is in quick and pushes MISERY clear chewing him out about the loosened strap. MISEY tears loose his blindfold...

HERB: Frank! I think things are about go pear shaped here hehhehehe
FRANK: MISERY is loosening the opportunity here with SHADOW being laid out there on the canvass but RENEGADE is staring him down and we may just be seeing what the president had in mind for these two tonight.

RENEGADE smiles stepping back. MISERY goes for the pin. SHADOW kicks out even before RENEGADE can get down to the mat. MISERY hauls SHADOW up and lays in the stiff Punches on SHADOW who can barely block them. RENEGADE follows close as MISERY forces SHADOW into the corner and climbs the ropes to hammer down on SHADOW. Landing heavy deliberate blows on SHADOWS head, MISERY punches to the 10-count of the crowd. MISERY jumps down and panders to the crowd’s appreciation while SHADOW slumps in the corner from the devastating assault. Cameras close to ringside show the dazed SHADOW fumble with his blindfold then his dazed expression turning to anger as he realises that MISERY has been fighting without his strap or the blindfold. SHADOW slips his bonds and out under the bottom rope meanwhile RENEGADE is watching MISERY's display and realises too late that SHADOW has re-entered with a piece of spare scaffolding-brace. RENEGADE steps in to restrain SHADOW but SHADOW does not seem to be willing to accept RENEGADE’S authority. Attracted by the goings on MISERY begins to taunt SHADOW. SHADOW dumps the brace, and RENEGADE goes to kick it from the ring. SHADOW then charges MISERY catching him in a Spear! Both men hit the mat hard but SHADOW is the first to roll clear and get to his feet. RENEGADE is in quick with the boxing gloves threatening both men to put their blindfolds back on and to retie the straps. MISERY gets to his feet and with a quick exchange of a glance both SHADOW and MISERY drop RENEGADE with a double Clothesline that brings the AWA fans to the feet with a an earthshattering roar. RENEGADE is soon up and is about to call for the bell when both men haul him up and whip him into the ropes and on the rebound MISERY and SHADOW lift RENEGADE into Back Body Drop over the top rope and out of the ring. The alliance is short lived as no sooner has RENEGADE hit the mats when SHADOW and MISERY begin to duke it out again.

FRANK: Best laid plans of mice and men there, looks like Greys enforcer has been forced out and MISERY and SHADOW are about to settles ‘tis matter between themselves. SHADOW is giving out with the payback for MISERY's abuse earlier on oin this match MISERY is ent to ropes only to meet the knee of SHADOW in his stomach. MISERY is winded and SHADOW is looking for something outside of the ring...

HERB: This match is going to Hell in a handbasket
FRANK. We need a ref down here. If it's not gonna be legal. SHADOW will murder MISERY for that moment of advantage.
FRANK: I don't think this'll be the end of the matter
HERB. If anything I'm sure that SHADOW will have something to say about RENEGADES refereeing here tonight, but right now he has MISERY on his mind.

SHADOW emerges back into the ring with a kendo stick and stalks the winded MISERY. SHADOW lays in stiff strokes with the bamboo stick everytime MISERY tries to regain his feet. The pain and torment of SHADOW’S attention is clearly shown on MISERY’s face as it is contorted in a torturous manner.

FRANK: I don't think SHADOW is going to lay off with that kendo stick as MISERY tries desperately to pull himself to his feet by the ropes.
HERB: My god I think I can see blood or sweat or something at least soaking the back MISERY"s shirt.

Unable to withstand the assault by SHADOW, MISERY ducks through the ropes and lands awkwardly on the mat. SHADOW raises his weapon high to the cheers of the crowd and begins taunting MISERY even though he is outside. SHADOW grows impatient and seeks out his opponent. SHADOW begins to climb the turnbuckle. Once at the top he raises the kendo stick high, and the crowd responds. MISERY then rises from the mat and lunges for the steps with enough momentum to reach the top rope and pull down by hanging from it. SHADOW drops hard with his legs spread and MISEY hangs like man crucified with his head bowed. SHADOW crumples to the mat holding his manhood as MISERY slowly drags himself in under the bottom rope. Hand over fist MISERY eventually reaches SHADOW and reaches out grabbing a hold of SHADOW’S mask and begins jerking it loose. The crowd is livid at the possibility of learning the masked wrestler’s identity. As if fed by the fans urges, MISERY manages to get to his knees and apply both hands to the task but the lace ties of the facewear deny him and so MISERY begins to fumble with the string. SHADOW grabs the head of MISERY in both hands and rising from the mat he drops pulling MISERY down into a resounding Jawbreaker! Rolling free SHADOW pick MISERY up from the canvas pulls him into a Brainbuster!! Not able to see his stick SHADOW spots the scaffolding brace just outside the ring, where it was kicked by RENEGADE. Spotting an opportunity MISERY pulls himself out of the ring and rummages under the apron and pulls out a roll of power extension cable still bound up and hoists it. SHADOW discards the scaffold brace and instead pulls a long-armed oversized monkey wrench.. Both wrestlers slide back into the ring seeking to run down their opponent with their weapon of choice, but instead end up coming to a dead halt and facing off in a moment that sends a ripple of anticipation through the fans that start a wave of cheers, that grows to tidal wave proportions. While in the ring SHADOW and MISERY begin to stalk each other...

Suddenly a third person enters the ring.. A new referee who quickly comes between the two combatants in an effort to restore order. Medics arrive at ringside to take care of the injured RENEGADE; applying a neck brace and lifting him carefully to a stretcher. Once the crew has exited up the ramp the ref deals with SHADOW and MISERY warning each man. The ref also demands that the weapons are discarded. The two men are reluctant and argue but in one moment of heat between the ref and MISERY, SHADOW tosses the brace behind him and Spears MISERY taking him clear across the ring.

Following through SHADOW keeps MISERY pinned and lays in Punch after Punch against his opponent. Th ref begins to count SHADOW out after warning him but SHADOW stands before the three count is made and drops a Stomp on MISERY's back just for spite!

SHADOW picks MISERY up from the mat by his hair and delivers a series of Power Jabs before hauling him into a Gutwrench Powerbomb!! MISERY is rolled for the pin and the ref slides in hitting the mat: 1.. 2.. MISERY kicks out but SHADOW is still in control. MISERY is sent to the corner by an Irish-Whip and rebounds, hard into an awaiting SHADOW who pulls MISERY into a tight Arm-Bar who is then suddenly wrenched into a Samoan Drop!!

Again the three count is close but MISERY manages to get his foot onto the bottom rope and the ref aborts the count and calls SHADOW off. Misery's opponent is not happy demanding that the referee is in quicker with the one-two-three! The ref is not taking SHADOW’S abuse and warns him with disqualification.

MISERY however has taken the moment to slide out of the ring and walk off the effects of SHADOW’S assault on him.

Turning to re-engage his opponent SHADOW is lost as he tries to find the missing MISERY. The referee aware now that MISERY is no longer in-ring begins to count him out.

The count goes to seven before MISERY re-enters and is welcomed back by Forearm Smashes by SHADOW.

MISERY takes the punishment only for a short while and then catches SHADOW’S arm and pulls in an Arm-Drag Takedown. As SHADOW rises MISERY is right there to lock a grip around his waist. Sensing the danger SHADOW tries to Elbow his way free; .. two blows! Three blows ... then before the fourth MISERY swings himself and SHADOW around into position for a German Suplex straight into the corner!!

MISERY walks away nursing a bloodied nose from SHADOW’S sharp elbow while the man himself is hung up, and upside down in the ropes. MISERY then dashes towards the corner and slams SHADOW with Knee Drop straight to SHADOW’S chin!!

MISERY hauls SHADOW out of the corner and shows some power as he lifts SHADOW into a sitting position on top of the turnbuckle. MISERY climbs up behind him. SHADOW tries to fight back with a flurry of weak Punches that almost catch MISERY off guard, but an Elbow to SHADOW’S face halts the attack and MISERY begins to pull SHADOW to his feet. High above the canvas MISERY and SHADOW are face to face and the crowds reaction is electrical and rewarded by a Head But from MISERY!

SHADOW’S head slams backwards and blood flies from an obviously broken nose. MISERY then lifts SHADOW skywards in an incredible burst of strength and launches himself from the ropes. The scene is almost cinematic as both men seem to hang in the air over the mats and as they drop MISERY's hold shifts and pulls SHADOW down into a Frontal Body Drop straight through the announcers table!!!!

The referee begins the count out for both men as the fans and officials crowd in to watch the scene amongst the debris where both MISERY and SHADOW lie with their own blood splashed everywhere. MISERY slowly rolls and the cameras capture the gashes to his face and the bruises to his arms and the pain in his tightly shut eyes. SHADOW does not move as sounds of concern among the spectators as the referee’s count counts through five ... then six....

Unbeleivably MISERY crawls blindly, blood drowning his eyes until his hands hit the steel stairs. The referees count is at seven, .. eight sees MISERY at the top of the steps, his hands gripped around the second rope. The crowd is on their feet edging MISERY all the while SHADOW is motionless in the wreckage of the destroyed announcer’s table. With a last gasp effort on the ref's count of nine MISERY pulls himself through the ropes and into the ring.

10!!!

The referee calls for the bell and the officials voice rings out "By result of a ring-out MISERY is the winner and American Wrestling Alliance Television Champion!!' For the second time in one match the emergency medical team is rushed down to ringside where a neck brace is secured to support SHADOW’S bloodied head. The splintered remnants of the tabletop are carefully moved away to allow access to the unconscious wrestler. Meanwhile heralding MISERY's victory the referee holds the dazed champions arm high and "What's this life for ?" by Creed plays in ovation to him.....

FJ – A convincing, although somewhat brutal victory by Misery there
HS – Well I’m not sure whether we’ll be seeing Shadow in the AWA again
FJ - Well, it's now time for the second of tonight's semi-finals of the "Bring Your Own B*tch" Tournament for the AWA Women's Title
HS - That's right...Jack Happy declared the stipulations earlier and now it's up to Darkest Desires and "Lustful Laura" to fight it out in the ring in this AWA TABLES MATCH !!
FJ - Woo-hoo, here comes Laura !!

(Laura appears on the rampway, closely shadowed by her Manager Sauvio, "The International Man of Pleasure", as "Vivrant Thing" by Q-Tip starts to play out throughout the arena. She gets a huge reaction from the crowd as they cheer her and she sprints towards the ring, diving under the bottom rope. Sauvio slowly follows behind her as her music ends and is replaced by "The Way You Like It". Desires gets an equally loud applause as she enters the arena and she slowly makes her way towards the ring, closely followed by her Tag Team Partner, Dragon)

FJ - Here come the former Tag Team Champions, Herb and I must say, Desires is looking mighty fine tonight !!
HS - Not this again. Everytime we have a Women's Match in the AWA !!
FJ - ...and why on earth shouldn't I ?
HS - Two reasons...Firstly Desires is an individual wrestler in her own right, just like Laura and secondly, Dragon is right behind her.
FJ - Oh yeah, well I'm only looking !!

(Darkest Desires climbs into the ring after kissing Dragon on the cheek, before removing her black, leather top and revealing a black T-Shirt with the words "B*tch" on it, exactly the same as the one that Laura wore to the ring. Dragon and Sauvio both climb up onto the ring aprons in opposite ends of the ring as the ref calls for the bell to be rung, signalling the start of the match)

HS - Here we go, Frank

(The divas circle each other cautiously for a couple of moments, before they hook up. They both grapple with each other to try and gain the advantage and Desires manages to use her slight weight advantage to whip Laura into the ropes, but Laura hold on and reverses, whipping Desires into the ropes instead and catching her on the rebound with a Lariat Clothesline. Desires is quickly to her feet, but Laura goes on the early offensive with three Knife-Edge chops to the chest of the "Dark Ruler" in quick succession and ends the combination with a well placed Roundhouse Kick that staggers Desires back a few steps. Dragon starts to shout words of encouragement, but another well-placed Roundhouse Kick has Desires leaning into the ropes, as Laura Irish Whips her opponent to the other side of the ring, before catching her with a Tilt-A-Whirl Backbreaker. Desires clutches at her back as she slumps to the mat, as Laura sets off running across the ring and returns to the middle, dropping an elbow to the side of Desires' face. Laura goes for a quick pinfall, forgetting momentarily that the match is a Tables Match and pinfalls don't count)

FJ - A lightening start by former AWA Women's Champion, "Lustful" Laura
HS - She certainly seems up for the challenge, Frank...If only she could remember the rules

(Both ladies are up on their feet, but Laura wastes no time in going back on the attack with another Lariat Clothesline, followed by a Inplant DD, Desires gets to her feet once more. but finds herself being whipped into the ropes, she rebounds off the ropes, but manages to duck under a Running Clothesline and both divas hit the opposite ropes, before both colliding in the centre of the ring with a Clothesline each...)

HS - Both ladies are down now. Who's going to be the first to capitalise on the situation ?

(The ref starts to count both ladies out, but the count is abruptly ended as Laura staggers to her feet, rubbing her head and wondering where she is. She spins around 360 degrees trying to get her bearings of where she is, as Desires pulls herself up by the ropes. Laura, suddenly regaining her senses charges in towards the dazed Desires, but quickly thinking, Desires ducks down and pulls the top rope down with her, sending Laura sprawling over the top rope and to the uncompromising hard floor on the outside)

FJ - Owwww...Laura just hit hard on the outside

(Desires looks towards the outside before scaling the nearest turnbuckle and waving for Laura to get to her feet. She reaches the top rope and a dazed Laura staggers to her feet on the outside as Desires launches herself off the top rope and delivers an awesome Hurricanranna to the Blonde Bombshell. Laura is sent sprawling once more as the volume of the crowd's cheering grows. Desires is quickly up and pulls Laura to her feet, before locking her hands around Laura's waist and delivering a quick Belly-to-Back Suplex to the hard concrete. She pulls her to her feet once more and sends her right back down with another Belly-to-Back Suplex...)

HS - Desires has turned the tables in this match, Frank. She's really giving Laura a workout on the outside of the ring
FJ - You may be right, Herb and let's not forget whether Laura was 100% coming into this match either after the brutal attack she received at the hands of Hangman, her own stablemate just a few weeks ago !

(Laura gets no time to try and recover as Desires pulls the former Women's Champion to her feet once more, before delivering a Swinging Neck Breaker, followed by a dropkick that connects flush in the face of the already dazed "Lustful" Laura. Desires then goes searching under the ring and eventually pulls out a large table which she slides into the ring. Laura is slid in after it as Desires again scales the turnbuckle, this time from the outside. She launches herself off the top rope, connecting with a Corkscrew Elbow that leaves Laura writhing in pain. She turns her back on Laura as she sets up the table in the centre of the ring. The chants from the crowd of "Desires, Desires, Desires" start up as Sauvio starts banging on the turnbuckle in his corner to try and bring Laura back to her senses. Sauvio's screams fail to have the desired effect though as Desires pulls Laura to her feet once more and sends her across the ring, before catching her in the centre of the ring as she returns with a perfect sleeper hold. Laura's arms start to flail for a few moments as she valiantly tries to wriggle free of the hold, but Desires has the sleeper locked in tight and Laura's struggle is soon silenced as her arms falls limply by her side...)

HS - I think it's "Sleepy-time" for Laura, Frank
FJ - Well I wouldn't mind falling to sleep in the arms of Darkest Desires
HS - You would if she had that Sleeper Hold locked in like she has at the moment on Laura

(The ref checks on Laura, but is powerless to do anything as the match can't be won on Submission. Laura starts to fade and her eyes start to close, but at the last moment, she drops to her knees, catching Desires with a Jawbreaker that sends her flying back. Laura drags herself up by the ropes, still not quite sure where she is and after staggering a few paces towards her own corner and Sauvio she spins around just in time to see Desires charging towards her, but manages to get her right leg up just in time and catches Desires flush in the face with a Superkick !!)

HS - Wow, Laura nearly took Desires head off with that Superkick

(Laura pulls the limp Desires to her feet and leaning her against the ropes, she connects with three quick punches(Road Dogg-style) before blowing her a kiss and connecting with the knockout blow. Desires slumps to the mat, but Laura has her back up quickly and sends her face-first into the nearest turnbuckle. Laura follows her up and starts to climb the ropes. Desires, upon reaching the top rope tries to fire off a couple of shots, but Laura manages to block them all before responding with two chops of her own that nearly causes Desires to fall from the top rope. She then sets Desires up on the top rope in an Inverted Facelock and comes leaping off lifting Desires up and over and sending her crashing into the centre of the ring AND THROUGH THE TABLE in her patented finisher..."The Hollywood's Falling Star"

FJ - She's done it...She's done it !!
HS - What a move !! Desires is motionless in the centre of the ring amidst a pile of broken wood
FJ - It's "Lustful" Laura and "Lethal" Louise in the final of the Women's "Bring Your Own B*tch" Tournament...
HS - ...but exactly how much would this encounter with Darkest Desires have taken out of the former Women's Champion, Frank ?
FJ – Time will tell, Herb…Time will tell !!

Herb: Well folks, next up we have the highly anticipated tag team match!!
Frank: AHAHAHAHAHAHA
Herb: What?
Frank: You said the match was highly anticipated.. haha.
Herb: uh-huh.. Well anyway this match will be one for the books. Let's take a quick look at the events leading up to this match!!

A small clip consisting of videos of each respective team airs as the crowd goes wild. They thunder throughout the arena as the following phrase appears on the AWAtron...'All three teams will be forced to enter the ring dressed either as He-Man and Teela, Skeletor and Evil-Lynn or Mer-Man and Beast-Man. The Tag Team Champions have already revealed their thoughts on this match by refusing to comply with these rules, but the punishment is yet to be revealed if they go though with these claims...Normal Tag Team rules apply that the ref will ensure is adhered to...A ref dressed as Man-At-Arms...but who will it be? ALL JAKKED UP 2003'

Herb: This should be great! The rules are simple, normal triple threat rules apply, the first team to score a pinfall or submission gains the victory! Not only that but they gain the tag titles as well!! but what will Notorious do? They have bluntly stated that they WILL NOT enter dressed up.
Frank: Hahahaha, finally a team with common sense. See these guys know that wrestling is a sport about WRESTLING not he-man and his masters.
Herb: But the masters of the universe aren't he-man's masters..
Frank: Oh yea, he's got the little winged lady who lives in the castle, REAL mature

With these words the first team enters the ring with quite a big reluctancy. Dressed as He-Man and Teela they continue down. “Dro In Tha Wind” by Trick Daddy cues up as they enter the ring.. Could these be the tag team champions? The music cuts shortly after a little taunting from both members. “Stone of Sorrow” by Nile hits the speakers as a second team of Skeletor and Mer-Man make their way down. They appear to be Industrial Incline. The second they enter the ring they get jumped by He-man and Teela. He-man and Skeletor duke it out, but all too soon our friendly superhero gets the upperhand, pounding in on Skeletor. However Teela seems to be taking a beating from Mer-Man. They continue the rumble as a man dressed as Man in Arms runs down and jumps into the ring. Bearing the mark of black and white stripes neither team dares touch him. They continue to rumble as Teela and Mer-Man go over the top rope.

Herb: What's going on? Where is Insane-A-Rival?!
Frank: I dunno, but this match is actually looking good....wait never mind, it's still boring as hell.

He-Man body slams Skeletor hard. Skeletor rises to his feet and clotheslines He-Man. He leans over the ropes for a few moments to catch his breath. Skeletor begins to stomp on He-Man, but He-Man catches his leg and is able to trip him over. He locks Skeletor in a strong leg lock as Mer-Man re-enters the ring. Teela seems to have been smashed into the stairs on the outside. Mer-Man knocks He-Man off and Skeletor rolls away. As Skeletor rises he walks over and they begin to double team He-Man. They set him up on the top rope for a double suplex As they suplex him He-Man over rotates himself and lands first, reversing the move into a double neckbreaker off the top. Man-At-Arms gets involved, forcing Skeletor out of the ring. Teela begins to stir on the outside as Mer-Man and He-Man get up. They trade punches but Mer-Man gets the advantage. He-Man tries to lunge in a last ditch effort but misses and Mer-Man picks him up for a samoan drop. Apparently the neckbreaker did more damage than Mer-Man thought, unable to support the weight he falls face first into the ground. He-Man seizes the opportunity and begins to nail him in the head with strong rights and quick lefts. Mer-Man appears to not know what's happening as He-Man continues to dish out punch after punch. The quick blows leave Mer-Man stunned, leaving him with the appearance of a young man having a seizure. He-Man decides to back off and picks Mer-Man up, but Skeletor dives off with a double axe handle off the top rope, nailing He-Man right in the back. He-Man falls and Skeletor begins to stomp away. Skeletor turns away to return to his corner when he gets NAILED by a HUGE hurricanranna off the top rope from Teela!! Skeletor flies out of the ring! Mer-Man charges at Teela, but Teela slips right through his legs, delivering a nasty low blow during her passageway through. Mer-Man falls to the floor as He-Man rises.

Two figures emerge onto the stage. The figures walk down the rampway...and all heads turn...it's NOTORIOUS??!!! A casually dressed Poppa and F-Bomb make there way down to the ring. They try to enter the ring but Man-At-Arms blocks them. They push Man-At-Arms down and enter. It doesn't take Man-At-Arms long to get back up and back into Notorious' face. He appears to be arguing with them about not getting into costume. Notorious look at each other and then they both clock Man-At-Arms. He falls, and shakes it off, staring at Notorious! He-Man and Teela nail Notorious from behind with chairs!! They throw them out of the ring as Man At Arms calls for the bell.

Herb: Wow, I can't believe Notorious!! We've had about 15 minutes of rumbling and NOW the match is officially starting!
Frank: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! Did you see them knock the hell out of Man At Arms! Who does this guy think he is? No one messes with Notorious!

He-Man and Teela immediately start taking it to both members of Notorious. They toss Poppa out of the ring, next to Skeletor and Mer-Man and begin to double team F-bomb.. Skeletor and Mer-Man get up and begin to stagger about a little. After realising what has transpired they begin to stomp on Poppa. The fight turns into a 4 on 2 with Notorious taking the serious blunt of the blow. He-Man and Teela decide to change up the pace a bit and run outside after Mer-Man and Skeletor. They begin to pound on both of them! He-Man and Teela seem to be on FIRE! They continue to pound on Skeletor and Mer-Man but slowly F Bomb rises inside the ring. He makes his slow ascent to the top rope. He dives off...Teela sees him and shoves Skeletor in the way..he nails skeletor with a spy kick from the TOP ROPE!!!! Skeletor staggers back and falls over the guard rail into the crowds. Teela starts to begin work on F Bomb, throwing both F Bomb and Poppa into the ring. He-Man power bombs Mer-Man onto the guard rail. He also decides to enter the ring.

Herb: Jesus Christ! What's going on?! I can't even tell who are the legal teams!
Frank: HAHAHA, I don't think Skeletor and Mer-Man are doing too hot!

The action heats up as He-Man and Teela begin to really put a beating on Notorious. The taste of victory in their mouths, so close to hand they begin to go crazy, throwing every move in their arsenal. F-Bomb and Poppa are able to capitalise on their greed to win and are able to gain the upper hand. F Bomb nails Teela with a Backbreaker as Poppa German suplex's He-Man.. F Bomb and Poppa take a break and move over to the ropes leaning on them for support. Teela is first to her feet and charges at them. They double backdrop her...right over the top rope. She lands on the stairs outside with a loud smash. The crows goes crazy as a whole chant of ooooooooooooo's and daaaaaaaaaaamn's erupts. Teela doesn't move

Herb: GOD DAMN!
Frank: That's gonna leave a mark in the morning.

He-Man charges both F Bomb and Poppa and is able to double clothesline both of them. He himself is fatigued and begins to lean on the ropes for support. Out of no where Mer-Man grabs He-Man and hangs his neck up on the rope. Mer-Man is able to slide into the ring, but Notorious is up to their feet and waiting for him. He gets nailed with a double clothesline. Poppa locks him in a camel clutch as F Bomb drop kicks him right in the face. His screams go unnoticed as Notorious continue the beating. After they're done they pick He-Man up and nail him with a HUGE big up! As soon as Poppa's done F Bomb comes flying across the ring with a Soaring Eagle. He-Man is in wonder land! He doesn't know what's going on. F Bomb and Poppa both place a leg over He-Man. With the most cockiest of pins they begin to pose for the crowd. Man-At-Arms reluctantly counts..1........2...........NOOOOOOOO! HE-MAN IS STILL ALIVE!

Herb: Oh my GOD! WHAT KIND OF MAN IS HE?! WHO KICKS OUT OF THAT?
Frank: He's He-Man...duh! Some people are just stupid!

F bomb and Poppa start arguing with Man-At-Arms when Mer-Man rolls up F Bomb.. 1..2..the crowd goes crazy...break-up by Poppa! Poppa doesn't know what to do...he runs outside and grabs a steel chair. He enters the ring aiming for Mer-Man, but the chair is pulled out by Man-At-Arms! F Bomb tries to punch Man-At-Arms again, but this time, he ducks and NAILS F Bomb with the steel chair! The crowd goes INSANE. Man-At-Arms tosses the chair outside as F Bomb stands up. He-Man rises aswell...they face off as the last two competitors in this war! They duke it out blow for blow, and F Bomb pulls a spy kick out of no WHERE! HE climbs to the top rope and dives off, looking for another Soaring Eagle, but ends up landing on the mat! He-Man pops up and goes crazy as the fans erupt! He pulls off the mask revealing that he is JUSTIN SANE!!! He starts trash talking and picks F Bomb up and sets him up for an insane bomb!!! He rips the padding off the turnbuckle! He picks F Bomb up...once into the turnbuckle...twice into the turnbuckle..three...no F bomb slips out over Sane and forces Sane to smash his head into the turnbuckle...Sane falls straight back and F Bomb on top of him Man -At- Arms begins to count...1.....2...MER MAN IS UP...HE RUNS OVER....!!!!!

Herb: HOLY S[-------]T!!!!

....3!!!!!! He breaks the count too late!!! NOTORIOUS RETAIN THE TITLES!!!! “Dro In Tha Wind” by Trick Daddy hits the speakers as Mer-Man falls back in exhaustion! Man-At Arms picks up the titles...and stares at both of belts. The crowd is erupting, half in cheers for the witnessing such an amazing match and the other half in boos because Notorious retained their titles! Man-At-Arms lays the title belts down across the chests of the fallen Notorious and backs away, still staring at the titles. He looks up and rips off the mask.....Man-At-Arms is none other than KING CHOZEN!!!! The fans erupt into a tremendous roar! A HUGE “KFC” chant begins as the arena is once again filled with the echoing voices of the three letters! KC leaves the ring...staring at the tag titles!

Frank: I thought Chozen was retired?
Herb: HAHAHA, couldn't have made a better choice for the referee myself!
Frank: Of course you couldn't, you're an idiot! Who the hell cares about ole fried chicken? He needs to go back to whatever hole he came out of!
Herb: Well either way this is how I THINK things were for those of you who didn't catch it...He-Man and Teela were none other than Insane A-Rivals, Notorious was...well umm...notorious...and Skeletor and Mer-Man were Industrial Incline! What an amazing match! Good show from every team involved!!!
Frank: I still want to know what Chozen was doing back here.
Herb: Get over it Frank.
Frank: Go suck a monkey's t*sticle Herb.
Herb: How dare you ? You wouldn’t talk to the “Prez” like that, would you ?
Frank: Nooo, but I like the “Prez”…and speak of the “devil”…here he is now !!

"Hail to the Chief" blares over the PA system as President Gray is seen walking smugly to the ring. He's rubbing his hands together and when he gets inside the ring, he points to his head as if to say that he's gonna use his intelligence in this match. After a few moments, we then hear 'man-eater' by Hall and Oates as out steps BIG BERTHA FROM MOTHER EARTHA!)

(Herb)"Oh damn."
(Frank)"That's one fatass."
(Herb)"Makes Happy look slim."
(Frank)"Surprised she doesn't have any moons in orbit around her."

(After what seems like a lifetime, she steps through the ropes. Looking at Gray, she gives him her best smile...we think. All 42 of her chins give him a standing ovation as he cringes. As the bell rings, the match begins.)

(Gray quickly tries to scale the ladder, but is grabbed by his britches and pulled back to the ground as the crowd cheers. Bertha lays some devastating forearm shots into his back. She looks up at the pie and rubs her stomach hungrily. Eventually she shrugs at the notion of trying to put her 450 lbs. into motion up a ladder that couldn't support her. Instead, she focuses back on Gray. As she reaches down to lift him back up from the canvas, Gray quickly proves that he was merely playing possum. He lands a wicked uppercut that finds her original chin. Bertha stumbles backwards a bit as Gray makes it to his feet. He then starts landing in wicked knife edge chops as the crowd responds with 'WOOOO!' after 'WOOO.' Taking a moment to play to the crowd, he laughs and points again to his temple. Bad mistake. Bertha then reaches up and flips HIM into the turnbuckle. As she lays the knife edge chops into him, we hear the crowd respond with the appropriate 'WOOOOO!' Bertha then backs up and takes a run at Gray attempting to crush him with a devastating avalanche. Quickly Gray moves out of the way and Bertha is seen DESTROYING the top turnbuckle. The crowd groans as Gray has his back to her and is laughing. Short lived moment. Bertha's flab provided more than enough cushioning and once more she spins Gray back around. Gray is so horrified he lets out a scream and falls back flat on his ass. As Bertha stalks her way over to where he is at the lights suddenly go out.)

(Frank)"YIKES!!!!"
(Herb)"Hey, wait..what are you doing?"
(Frank)"HOLD ME! I'M SCARED OF THE DARK!"
(Herb)"You little bitch!"

(When the lights come back on, we see Bertha laid out cold in the middle of the ring, a tire iron bent in two off to her right. Headed back up the entrance ramp, with a smile on his face is the former AWA superstar Mercenary!)

(Herb)"Gray is pulling out all the stops tonight!"
(Frank)"I'm so glad the lights came back on."
(Herb)"Don't you ever do that again."
(Frank)"I needed protection and I don't have my woompah with me!"
(Herb)"There's no hope for you."

(Gray eventually makes it back to a standing position. Demanding a microphone, he speaks...)

"See Bertha, this is why I'm the president and someone like Jack could NEVER be! Sure, he was clever in putting together all of this, but it was ME who made it BETTER. And...it will be ME that gets my choice of a woman to be with for tonight. Don't worry though. I'll make sure to get you complimentary bowl of bon-bons. Or would you like some liposuction? Ah, the hell with it! I'm not getting you a damn thing....save for some pie."

(With that, Gray begins making his way up the ladder as the crowd gives him monster heat. He taunts the crowd with a sneer for the ages. Shaking his head at Bertha he makes it up to the next to last rung. As he reaches out, his fingertips BARELY touch the bottom of the carefully suspended pie when the lights go out again!!)

(Frank)"Herb, where are you?"
(Herb)"Oh no you don't you chicken shit. You're not holding onto me again."
(Frank)"I need my woompah! MOMMY!!!!!!"
(Herb)"Shut the hell up."

(When the lights come back on, President Gray finds himself face-to face with DISCO DUCK! Gray's mouth opens wide as we hear our beloved and feathery friend reply...)

"QUAAAAAACCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

(And then deliver a DUCK BOTTOM FROM THE TOP OF THE LADDER!!!! The move is so devastating it even knocks our daring duck dizzy. He rolls out of the ring and lands with a thud on the outside as the crowd roars his high-flying move. Gray lies still next to Bertha.)

(Herb)"Awwww. Don't they look so CUUUTEEEE lying there together like this?"
(Frank)"You can’t see Travis in all of that flab?"
(Herb)"Well, I think I see Travis. Or is that another one of her moles?"
(Frank)"Travis...mole...same difference."
(Herb)"Same amount of hair in any event."

(With both participants knocked silly, the crowd begins to chant BERTHA! BERTHA! BERTHA! Slowly the Queen of Busted Jeans begins to stir.)

(Herb)"Whohoo! Can't keep a good woman down."
(Frank)"If she's good you can. I mean, think about it."
(Herb)"Oh yeah."

(Finally shaking the cobwebs out of her head she concentrates on the ladder and then begins to set her body in motion UP THE LADDER! Rung by rung she painstakingly scales it as the ladder squeaks underneath her weight.)

(Herb)"What agility by a woman of that size. Happy really did have to scout far and wide to find agility like that."
(Frank)"Yeah, I don't know of too many climbing elephants."
(Herb)"But you know some? Frank that's sick!"
(Frank)"Hey, they all look the same in the dark."

(Just as she is about to reach the pie, the cords holding the pie up begin to raise! As the camera pans up into the control room, we see Chapman at the helm! The crowd begins to boo as the pie is raised well above Bertha's reach...even at the top of the ladder. As Bertha spends a few minutes, in vain, trying to reach the pie...Gray stirs back to life. Seeing her that far up on the ladder, he does the only thing he can do and that is to kick the ladder out from underneath her. The crowd gasps as 450 lbs. of woman is sent flying back down towards earth....or at least towards the referee. SMASH! The ring shakes from the fall. Slowly the pie begins to get lowered back to Gray.)

(Herb)"That son of a bitch!"
(Frank)"Yeah, Chapman's DA BOMB!"
(Herb)"I was talking about President Gray."
(Frank)"I knew that."

(Gray, with pie in hand, stalks over towards where Bertha is lying prone. As he rears back to slam her face with the pie, the lights go out AGAIN! When they come back on, Gray is face to face with...Curiously Bruce the gay midget??? Sitting atop the shoulders of the Super-Zero himself, Superballs, Bruce quickly does an eye poke as Superballs kicks a field goal right between the President's legs. Gray crumples to the ground as the pie falls to the floor. Superballs and Bruce celebrate before bumbling into the top rope and landing with a loud THUD on the outside of the ring. Slowly....very slowly Bertha begins to stir to life as some of the Spanish Fly Honies storm the ring!)

(Herb)"Oh my! Look at the sight before me! Whaddya think Frank?"
(Frank)"....."
(Herb)"Yeah...I thought so."

(Two of the girls help Bertha to her feet as the other two help to revive the ref amidst the fans' catcalls. Having gotten both Bertha and the ref somewhat conscious, the girls quickly run back up the rampway. As the ref finishes shaking the cobwebs from his previous impact with the immense woman, he is able to see her grab the pie. For a moment she seems distraught as she rubs her stomach. The fans yell out NO! as she then points to Gray. When they erupt in a loud cheer, she realises what she must do. Lifting him up into a seated position, she then SLAMS the pie into his face as the ref motions for the bell.)

(Frank)"OH NO!!!!"
(Herb)"OH YES!!!!!"
(Frank)"Gray is gonna be....ohhhh...I think I'm gonna be sick."
(Herb)"Aim for the bucket Frank."
(Frank) “…”
(Herb) “…but let’s get straight on with the show and the next match tonight is the final of the Women’s “Bring Your Own B*tch” Tournament
FJ: This one is for the Women’s World Championship! We have a powerhouse of a match with “Lethal” Louise, the self-proclaimed Princess of the AWA and bringing credentials from a federation in her past as a former ladies champion, facing one-half of the former AWA tag team champions, “Lustful” Laura!
HS: These women’s roots go deep as both women have their own rivalry that stretches back. Most recently, Louise suffered a makeover at the hands of Laura and her tag team partner Lori. Both of these women have a deep-seated hatred for each other.
FJ: Not to mention that Laura is affiliated with the stable, Elimination Enterprises. This is the same stable that the World Champion Hangman belongs. And we all saw what Hangman did to Louise’s significant other, the Commissioner Dave Santini.

"That Don't Impress Me Much" by Shania Twain plays and we see C-Rock and “Lethal” Louise walk down the ramp. One can hear mixed in with the boos a few cat-call and whistle as she walks down to the ring with her nose noticeably in the air, as C-Rock proudly walks to the ring with the “I’m with the Bitch” t-shirt. C-Rock holds the ropes open so Louise can climb into the ring. He drops off the apron and looks toward the entrance ramp expectantly. Louise points to the word “Bitch” on her shirt and shakes her head disgusted over the crass stipulations of the match. Her feeling like it is totally beneath her and befitting those who dwell in the trailer parks and ghettos, she exudes an air of contempt for the shirt and superiority toward the AWA fans.

FJ: There she is the “First Lady of the AWA”!
HS: And I must be “The First Color Commentator!”

"Vivrant Thing" by Q-Tip plays and the fans cheer as Lustful Laura and Sauvio Mega walk down the ramp. The men in the audience whistle as she plays to them on her way to the ring. The ring attire is the same as the other participants. Sauvio Mega holds the ropes for Laura to enter into the ring. She enters slowly bending over suggestively causing a cheer to “rise” from the crowd.

HS: Ahhhh, that always does my heart good to see Laura again tonight.
FJ: Get your mind out of the gutter, Herb.

The ladies circle each other in the ring exchanging insults. The words get heated and the women come together nose to nose. A slap from Louise! A knife-edge chop from Laura! Another slap from Louise! And the two women grab each other and begin to struggle to gain an advantage. Louise sends a knee to the midsection causing Laura to release her grip and she slaps with force across the face. Laura is nearly knocked to the mat with the force of the slap. Anger flashes in the eyes of Laura as Louise taunts her about the slap. Laura charges in and the two women topple to the mat yelling and screaming. Laura works her way up Louise and straddles her chest with two hands full of hair. Laura begins to pound Louise’s head into the mat. A CAT FIGHT chant rises in the crowd! Louise is able to flip Laura over and both women struggle to their feet. A low blow by Louise gains her the advantage. The crowd boos loudly as she quickly executes a DDT. Laura is dazed as she tries to get to her feet. Louise goes to slap her across the face only to catch a quick jab to the mouth from Laura. Louise’s head is rocked back and Laura connects with another one. Another jab from Laura has Louise trying to clear the cobwebs, Laura blows her a kiss before connecting with a big right that drops Louise to the canvas.

FJ: Ref will you do something she is in there using a closed fist! Do your job!

It is Laura’s turn to taunt Louise as she looks down on her. Laura unleashes a series of knife-edge chops as Louise climbs to her feet. Laura drives her across the ring with the stinging chops. Louise is reeling under the assault finally with her back against the ropes. Laura whips her across the ring charging behind her and catches her coming off the ropes with a lariat! Louise begins to beg Laura off to buy some time for her to think. Laura shakes her head and goes to pull her to her feet. Louise takes the opportunity to go to the eyes and follows up with a knee to the stomach. A fisherman’s suplex sends Laura crashing to the mat. The referee counts 1..Laura kicks out with authority.

HS: Louise trying to get a quick win.

Louise is first to her feet and goes on the offensive. Louise grabs Laura and bulldogs her to the mat. She quickly attempts to apply the figure four leg lock, but Laura kicks her in the midsection doubling her over. Another kick catches her in the face causing Louise to stagger back. Laura quickly climbs to her feet and catches Louise with a roundhouse kick. Louise drops to the mat. Laura covers 1.. Louise kicks out with authority. Laura stands and Louise pulls her down into a small package 1..2 kickout! Laura and Louise both get to their feet breathing heavily. They lock up and Laura whips Louise toward the ropes. Louise goes into the ropes and Laura catches her coming off with a flying body press. The referee counts 1..2kickout. Laura frustrated gets to her feet and catches Louise with a series of knife-edge chops once again driving her to the ropes. Louise is slumped against the ropes but as Laura goes to chop her again, she ducks under and dumps Laura out of the ring.

FJ: Oh, Laura takes a hard spill onto the hard cement below.

Louise slides out of the ring and applies the reverse chin lock to the fallen Laura. The referee begins to count as Louise applies the pressure and yells at Laura all the time. Louise finally breaks the hold and rolls into the ring under the bottom rope. Laura slowly climbs to her feet and walks toward the ring. Louise has climbed the corner turnbuckle and as Laura crawls into the ring, she jumps off connecting with the top rope leg drop. Laura lays there limp and Louise rolls her over for the cover. 1..2..at the last minute Laura lays her leg across the bottom rope. The referee calls for the break. Louise only takes the opportunity to slap the downed Laura across the face repeatedly. The referee admonishes Louise and demands that she break, but she only pauses briefly before grabbing a handful of hair. She begins to bang her head against the mat. Louise breaks off her attack and warns the referee that he should remember who she is in the AWA.

HS: Give me a break! Louise thinks she owns everyone.

Inside the ring, Louise pulls Laura up and sends her into the ropes. She catches Laura coming off with a knee to the stomach and slaps her across the face (SMACK) with so much impact the crowd reacts. Laura is jolted alive by that shot to the face and lashes out with big right hand catching Louise by surprise. Laura begins to unleash those Roaddog-like punches catching Louise with two quick jabs to the face. She kisses her fist and goes for the haymaker, but Louise is able lean back and avoids the blow. Louise catches Laura with a knee to the midsection and whips her into the turnbuckles. Louise charges over and delivers a forearm shot. Laura tries to fight back only to have Louise connect with a low blow. Louise swings her around and uses the ropes to execute a tornado DDT.

FJ: It looks to be over!

Louise covers 1..2..kickout!!

HS: Amazing! I thought the fat lady had sung on this one.

Louise applies the figure four to Laura. Laura shrieks in pain and struggles to free herself. She eventually gets to the ropes and Louise is not releasing the hold. Sauvio Mega spritzes himself with some more of the designer cologne (Desperation No.69) before climbing onto the apron and beckons for Louise to come over. Sauvio holds the bottle of cologne confidently in his hand. Louise seeing Sauvio releases Laura and walks over seemingly interested. However, as she takes the bottle from his hand, she quickly SHATTERS it over his head! Woozy, he starts to fall off the ring apron. As he does, he reaches out DESPERATELY and grabs a hold of Louise's hair. His backward momentum off the apron slams her neck off the top ring rope (ala a modified Hot Shot). Laura has gotten to her feet woozy, but as Louise stumbles back, Laura connects with the Hollywood's Falling Star!

HS: This could be it!! We are going to have a new Women’s Champion!!
FJ: Laura is going to do it!
HS: But after she does it, will she still be working here?

She is about to go for the cover but she sees C-Rock charge around the ring and level Sauvio Mega with a metal chair. Sauvio is busted open and drops like a lead weight. C-Rock not finished drops down over him and begins to rain down punches. The referee demands that they stop! Laura makes the cover but the referee’s back is to her as he tries to get some control over the situation ringside. Finally, he ejects both men from ring side as they continue to scuffle outside the ring. The referee turns around motioning for security and notices the pin. He drops down and begins to count 1..2..kickout!

HS: The referee waited too long before the count!
FJ: Louise has summoned the strength to kick out!

Not believing this, Laura pulls her back over and covers her again. 1..2kickout! She is beside her self as she pulls her own hair in anger. Laura gets to her feet and confronts the referee. In the meantime, Louise has climbed to her feet and is still groggy. Laura turns around to refocus on Louise but notices too late that she is not on the mat. Louise kicks her in the midsection and executes a Pedigree!!

FJ: Pedigree from Louise!! Pedigree from Louise!!

Louise collapses on top of Laura and the referee counts 1..2..3!!

Announcer: Your winner and new AWA Women’s Champion, “Lethal” Louise!!

Louise climbs back to her feet and applies the figure four to Laura. She refuses to release her as the referee pleads with her. He calls for the bell and the bell is heard. There is still no response from Louise who only smiles and cranks on the legs of Laura, who is shrieking in pain.

Suddenly, “The Way You Like It” by Adema plays and Darkest Desire comes down the ramp sliding into the ring. Seeing this Louise breaks the hold. She climbs to her feet and Darkest Desire and the newly crowned AWA Women’s champion stare at each other momentarily. Louise can’t control her temper and slaps Desire across the face. The ladies go at each other and struggle with each other to get the upper hand. In the meantime, Laura has struggled and pulled herself up with the help of the ropes. She joins into the frenzy by nailing Louise with a big right hand. And a shot from Darkest Desire sends punch of her own.

HS – A fantastic match and despite Louise becoming the new Women’s Champion, this division is really hotting up in the AWA
FJ – Louise has finally proven that she is the “Queen” as well as the “Princess of the AWA”, but now it’s time to go back to school !!
HS – Uh ?
FJ – The “School of Hard Knocks” !!

(The shot cuts to a strange location to AWA viewers where we see Bull Majors as he pulls up to the school in his car. He gets out the front door and looks for his ring of keys, picking out the right one to enter the school. He selects the correct key then takes off his hardcore title belt and looks at it longingly. Bull walks towards the school just as Misery hops a fence and sprints towards Bull.. Majors is too focused on the task at hand to see him. Misery gets right behind Bull as the fans in the arena boo loudly. )

Misery: Hey Majors, turn around..

(Bull Majors pivots and faces Misery)

Misery: Now I wouldn’t want to act like a coward and assault you from behind unlike some people.. Lord knows that for some that is the only way they could possibly gain the advantage..

(Bull Majors raises his fist and Misery backs off a step. Bull moves in and is hit with a handful of powder! Bull staggers around and Misery drop toe holds him into the side of his car.. Bull is then dropped with a DDT against the tarmac. Misery hooks in the pointless struggle on Bull, really pulling back hard on it. He holds the move on for nearly a minute before finally dropping it and stepping back.)

Misery: Let’s see how you do going into a match at less than one hundred percent..

(Misery walks away nodding at LJ Vacamas who has just arrived at the arena before hopping the fence)

Herb: Damn that Misery! He may have just ruined a perfectly good hardcore match! LJ Vacamas has to have a serious advantage after that assault!
Frank: Bull started it last week! He got what he deserved! Now it’s the Real Thing’s turn to pick the bones and take what’s rightfully his!

(LJ walks towards the downed Bull Majors and pulls him to his feet by the hair, he delivers a short clothesline sending Majors back to the ground. LJ pulls Bull back to his feet and then bulldogs him onto the hood of his car. The referee screams for the Real Thing to get into the school but LJ ignores him and whips Bull right into the chain link fence! Bull is cut slightly through his mask as LJ fades in and super kicks Bull knocking his head against the metal fence post. LJ picks up the battered Bull again as the referee unlocks the front door. LJ shrugs and throws Bull into the building. LJ goes over and covers with one foot. He only get a two count however as Bull rolls the shoulder. Enraged LJ drops to a knee and grabs Bull’s head. He starts to unload with punches in bunches as Majors apparently can’t defend himself! )

Frank: I think this one is almost over! Get the champagne out Herb!
Herb: I think not Frank, I’d venture to say it’ll take quite a bit more than that to keep Bull Majors down.

(LJ Vacamas German suplexes Bull hard into the wall with Majors landing directly on his neck. LJ sneers at Bull to get the f*ck up as Bull lays on the ground nearly motionless. Not content LJ opens up a classroom and pulls the teacher’s desk away from the wall.. LJ clears it off with a swipe of his arm then for good measure stacks two students desks on top of it. He then stacks up three more desks in order to be able to reach the pile. Finally LJ pulls Bull on top of the stacked teacher's desk and prepares to take flight.. He dives off of the other student's desk but Bull has recovered enough to rolls off of the pile, causing Vacamas to crash through the two student's desk and hit hard against the teachers’ s one! Both men are down but Bull is the first to pull himself to his feet!)

Herb: LJ went for a high risk move but it didn’t pay off!

(LJ tries to get off the desk but Bull hammers him back onto it with several stiff forearms! Bull looks around and grabs a yard stick and breaks that against LJ’s head.. Not happy with the slight damage it caused Bull grabs the stapler that LJ knocked off the desk. The Real thing sees what is coming and desperately fires back with right hands.. He fights his way off of the desk but a kick to the stomach stuns him again and Bull headlocks him. He drives several staples directly into the forehead of Vacamas as the crowd in the arena cheers on in delight! However Vacamas is able to cover with a belly to back suplex through the desk, finally breaking the tenacious furniture and leaving Majors in a world of pain again. LJ drags himself over to the closet using a door to pull himself to his feet. Bull Majors is in even worse shape, clutching at his neck. LJ overturns the bookrack onto him then makes a cover. Bull still has fight left and is out at two. LJ roughly pulls him up and then tries to drive his head through the window. But Bull blocks it and then pulls LJ through the window headfirst instead! The now completely bloodied Vacamas staggers backwards trying to escape Majors who spears him straight out of the door and into the hallway!)

Herb: Bull Majors is now in control of this one!
Frank: Ah it won’t last!

(Bull ignores Frank as he slams The Real thing’s head against the floor many a time. Bull picks him up in a gorilla press slam and then throws him as hard as possible directly into a trash can! The can crumples. And so does LJ! Bull yells out again. Then gestures towards a locker. He then gorilla press slams Vacamas into that, denting the door on the impact of LJ’s bounce! Bull hooks in the gum shoe next.)

Herb: That’s Bull bread and butter move. And I think LJ is too wounded to break out of this.

(LJ screams in pain as the referee checks on him asking him if he wants to quit... LJ refuses the first couple of times, but he seems to be fading. The referee closes in to check the arm. And that’s when LJ pulls the referee into Bull breaking the hold. )

Frank: What a smart move. LJ is a thinking man’s wrestler!

(LJ gets to his feet limping but Bull kicks his leg out from under him! LJ slowly regains his feet while Bull grabs the usual fire extinguisher and hits the perquisite spray to the face of LJ. He then varies things by cracking LJ in the knee with the fire equisher. LJ collapses back to the ground as Bull hooks in a figure four.. LJ seems to be barely struggling against it. However at this point KO Kid and Mike appear from the chemistry lab.. Bull drops the hold and jumps to his feet ready to meet the challenge.. However AWA security beats him to the punch. A half dozen guards quickly latch onto Mike and KO Kid and herd them towards the previously used classroom. )

Herb: Hey, why on earth is security here? I thought this was supposed to be a secret location..
Frank: …and I thought people were allowed to attack! They should have let KO Kid go!

(Bull is still trying to get a piece of KO Kid as LJ has recovered somewhat and managed to go to the fire display and pry an axe away from it.. He uses the axe handle to knock down Majors from behind.. then rakes the blade across Major’s arm lacerating it.. LJ then seems ready to go to work on Bull with the axe in earnest but the referee pulls it away from him. Enraged LJ suplexes the referee out of his boots! LJ throws Bull into the door for the chemistry lab and it opens up and Bull tumbles in. The Real Thing follows and makes a hand signal. He delivers the Shutdown and then makes a cover. He would have easily gotten the three except for the fact there is no referee!)

Frank: This is bullshit, LJ should be the champion!
Herb: He did it to himself. No one asked him to knock out the official!

(LJ slaps Bull in frustration and then kicks a wall hard. LJ walks back over to Bull and low blows him again and again! Majors must be in some severe pain as you can see his grimace through the mask. LJ Powerslams Bull onto one of the lab counters then goes for something gruesome. He pulls out a scalpel, which draws a gasp from fans watching in the arena.. however Bull clocks him with a beaker and then Irish whips him into the plant display near the back of the lab. Bull notices a cactus and grins broadly then cracks LJ across the face with it! LJ drops to a knee, which allows Bull to grab a second beaker.. then one filled with some sort of acid and throws it directly at his face.. LJ gets his arm up to block it.. but it still burns the arm nicely. LJ has had enough of the lab and scurries away back into the hall and towards the gym. Bull gives chase. As soon as they enter the gym LJ turns and dropkicks Bull down. Bull Majors gets up fairly quickly.. but is levelled with a dumbbell. LJ then piles three of them on top of Bull and makes a cover. The referee has finally managed to not only regain his senses but find the two combatants after about ten seconds have passed. He makes the count but amazingly Bull is able to kick out at two! LJ seems ready to hit the official again but instead he turns and elbows Bull in the head.. He then sets Bull on an exercise bike and then high cross bodies the bike sending both the weight of himself and the bike crashing on Major’s chest! LJ is too stunned to cover for a second but then he manages to push the bike off and drape his upper body across Majors’ The beaten Bull still has the whereabouts to kick out through.)

Herb: Man, what a match that is! I have to give both of these competitors credit! They are waging outright war here!
Frank: You know for once I’ll agree with you. This is a great match. But I think it’s just about over.. The Real thing is dragging Bull Majors out towards the pool..

(LJ does just that... and then snap mares down Bull and goes to climb the ladder to the diving board.. when he reaches the top of the ladder.. he dives off with an elbow attempt.. but Bull has pulled himself off and catches him with a vicious sky high! Bull then raises his hands and grabs a patio chair. He starts to go to town on Vacamas.. Delivering a half dozen shots. He then sets LJ’s head against the ladder leading to the diving board and drives the chair home directly to the face! He pulls LJ away and makes a cover. The referee’s hand only touches twice before LJ is able to raise his shoulder. Bull grabs the oversized umbrella away from the plastic table and beats on Vacamas with it a bit before thinking about it.. then DVDing him through the plastic table. It shatters into pieces as Bull then grabs a leg and jabs it into the throat of Vacamas. Bull appears to be suffocating LJ until he manages to knee him in the groin to break the move. LJ is still severely hurt however once he regains his footing Bull has already recovered from the balls shot and is able to reverse LJ’s Irish whip into the ladder into a Russian leg sweep into it! Bull makes a cover but once again only gets two. So Bull starts to drag LJ up the ladder to the diving board.. While they are on the diving board. Bull goes for a Piledriver.. but LJ is able to backdrop him.. He then sets up Majors and superplexses him off of the diving board back onto the patio area! The crowd chants holy shit as LJ collapses on the board and falls into the water..)

Frank: What a great desperation move from the Real Thing! This has to be over.. Bull can’t possibly get up from that one..

(LJ finally manages to drag himself out of the water after nearly a minute.. and then it takes him almost another minute to find Bull Majors. He lays across him and the referee counts. 1-2, but Bull still kicks out! LJ pulls Bull to his feet and sets him up to deliver a Piledriver.. but Major backdrops him into the water! LJ tries to climb out of the pool but Bull slams his head against the side and then holds him under. LJ struggles blood gushing from his head. He almost manages to claw his way to the surface but can’t quite do it.. Finally Bull yanks him out by the hair.. As LJ struggles for air Bull knocks the rest out of the air from his body with a dominator! Bull hooks both legs and gets the three count as LJ’s kick out is just not strong enough.. )

Herb: Wow, what a bloody battle this one was! Bull Majors picks up the tremendous win over LJ Vacamas in this classic brawl!
Frank: Yeah even I’ve got to give Majors credit, but the Real Thing has nothing to be ashamed of..

(Bull is helped to his feet by the referee and he staggers from the gym towards the exits. Bull however is so stunned that instead of turning right he turns left towards the principle’s office.. Bull opens the door…)

HS – WHAT THE ?

(Herb’s reaction back at the Astrodome is the same as the dazed, Bull Majors as he staggers into the Principal’s Office and comes face-to-face with none other than the Commissioner of the AWA, Dave”The Rave” Santini !!)

HS – I thought he was still injured !!
FJ – Well obviously not. It looks like the AWA Commissioner is back in the AWA with a clean bill of health, but what does he want with the Hardcore Champion, Bull Majors ?

(A stunned Bull Majors staggers into the room as Dave Santini stands from behind the Principal’s desk and rushes towards Majors BLASTING the already exhausted Majors with a shot to the head with his trusty “Equalizer”. Majors slumps to the floor, but he is soon raised and send crashing back to the hard, uncompromising floor with a Ravin’Driver. Santini looks down at the motionless, Bull Majors before pulling a mic out of his suit pocket and looking down at the Hardcore Champion, he begins to speak…)

SANTINI – “Bull, you really chose the wrong door to enter, but now that we are both here I might as well make the three announcements that I came here to make”

HS – Three announcements ?

SANTINI – “Firstly I wanted to make it clear that any alliance with the Elimination Enterprises is a clear enemy of mine…and Bull, it seems that you have chosen your side. Secondly, I wanted to make sure that you clearly understand that I will not tolerate having a Hardcore Champion in the AWA like yourself. You are an embarrassment to the AWA Hardcore Title that I made famous”

HS – An embarrassment ? Bull Majors is one of the most popular Hardcore Champions the AWA has ever seen !!
FJ – I don’t think popularity is ranked that highly in Dave Santini’s eyes

SANTINI – “…and as a result of that, I am about to announce to you the next AWA Hardcore Champion and the man that will bring the respect back to the Hardcore Division that I created. Let me introduce to you and to the rest of the American Wrestling Alliance…MY NEW PROTÉGÉ…”

FJ – Who is it, Herb ?

SANTINI – “The Real Thing” LJ Vacamas !!

HS – What ?
FJ – Yessssss, it all makes sense. LJ’s announcement of a new manager he was talking about and the presence of AWA Security here tonight…It was all a set-up

(With that the door to the Principal’s Office swings open and a somewhat bruised, cut and battered, LJ Vacamas stands in the doorway, looking down at the grounded Bull Majors)

SANTINI – “…and my last announcement is that in tonight’s World Title Match there will be ringside passes for seven superstars of the AWA. Those passes will be given to C-Rock, Dark Warrior, Notorious, my fiancee, Louise and myself and LJ Vacamas !!”

HS – WHAT ? NO WAY !!
FJ – Yes, Dave Santini is truly back from his hospital stint…and back in style !!
HS – What does this spell for Ray Owens AND AWA World Champion, Hangman. Tonight’s Main Event is going to be mayhem !!

LJ Vacamas and Dave Santini take one last look at Bull Majors before opening the door and exiting the office. The shots fades and cuts to an empty Wal-Mart store in Houston, Texas. The camera walks in the store and we can appreciate all the lights are on. Suddenly, noise is heard at the far right side of the store. The camera hurries towards where the noise comes from and there they are. Jack Happy and Quade DeSade already going at it and the ref is close by. Jack Happy has the advantage over Quade. Jack punches at him with rights and lefts and Quade tries desperately to dodge them with no avail. After a few moments, Quade manages to block a right hand and starts hammering his own punches. Quade punches away on Jack making him step back a few steps until met with the vegetables section. Quade grabs a hold of Jack's hair and slams his face on the carrots. Quade sends Jack running towards one of the stands but Jack reverses it sending Quade slamming down on the soda stand and soda gets spilled all over the floor. While Quade's laying on the ground, he gets a hold of a 2 lt coke bottle and slams it against Jack's head making him scream in pain. Quade gets up and does a running clothesline on Jack making his head bounce on the floor pretty nastily. Quade runs out of the camera's view while Jack Happy is seen holding his head on the floor. He gets up very slowly and goes over to search for Quade. Jack turns on the second aisle but there is no deSade around. Jack keeps looking and turns at the end of the aisle and is met by a nasty baseball bat to his forehead by Quade spilling blood all over the place.

FJ – Wow, what a shot by deSade

Jack looks to be unconscious but still Quade keeps hammering on him with the baseball bat. Quade stops the assault and drops the bat and starts looking for more things to beat Jack with. The camera follows him around the store. Suddenly a figure gets spotted by the camera running from one aisle to the other one but couldn't catch who it was. The camera focuses once again on Quade. Quade gets a small bike, which was on sale and heads towards where Jack was laying on the floor. To Quade's surprise he's not there anymore. Quade surprised face shows but anger. Quade drops the bike on the floor and starts to look for Jack with no luck whatsoever. Suddenly, Jack comes out of nowhere with a tennis racquet in hand and a bloody face. He taps Quade's shoulder, he spins around and is met with the edge of the racket right across the face but to Jack surprise, Quade stays on his feet though all groggy. Jack smacks Quade on the right knee with the tennis racquet forcing Quade to drop on one knee. Jack once again slams Quade across the face this time forcing him to go down hard on the floor. Jack pulls Quade up by the hair and literally slides his body along with him. Jack reaches the checkouts and slams Quade's face against one of them. Jack gets distracted for a second by a T-shirt he seemed to like and Quade quickly gets up and grabs a stapler from the cash machine. He slowly walks towards Happy and staples him on the forehead without Jack noticing. Happy holds his forehead in pain as we see the staple stuck on the right side of his forehead.

HS – What is it with being stapled tonight, Frank ?

Quade puts the staple into Happy's right cheek and hammers about 4 more staples on him. Jack can't stand the pain and drops on the floor holding his cheek with both arms. Quade starts assaulting him on the ground with kicks to the gut and face. Quade steps back a few feet and waits for Jack to get up, which he does slowly. Jack spins towards Quade and he tries a spear on Jack but Happy side-steps him making Quade spear one of the registers and hurt his head on the try.

FJ – CHECKOUT !!
HS – You what ?

Jack tries to forget about the pain on his face and turns his attention towards Quade.Jack grabs Quade by the hair and starts to pull him near the food court. Quade elbows Happy in the ribs and then throws him into a stray wooden chair. Jack painfully tries to get up but is overcome by the stomping that Quade is doing on Jack. Quade finally picks him up off the ground and throws him up toward the ordering desk. Jack battles Quade over the counter with a few knife edge chops as he then takes a running start and launches himself over the desk onto Quade. Jack takes a big bag of paper cups and starts to smack Quade across the face with them and then kicks Quade in the kidney. Quade just gets to his knees and catches Jack with a low blow. Quade uses his advantage by shoving Jack into a bunch of wooden cabinets. Quade pulls open one of the cabinets and to his luck there is a stack of glass plates. Quade grabs one and then looks to hit Jack but he isn't there! Quade whirls around and Jack nails him in the head with a cookie tray.

HS – Oh my god. Glass plates, Cookie trays, whatever next ?
FJ – Where’s the kitchen sink ?

Jack picks up Quade and throws him deeper into the kitchen where we can find the dangerous items! Jack grabs Quade and starts to hammer away with some right hands to the forehead which causes Quade to fall back into a cement wall. With his arms hooked around the wall Quade decides to try and rest a little bit. Jack Happy is kicking at a glass container and he finally breaks it. Jack pulls out an emergency fire extinguisher and he runs to Quade bashing him in the stomach and then across the back.. Jack walks back a few steps and when Quade turns toward him he sprays the fire retardant in Quade’s eyes which blinds him! Jack finds a frying pan on the stove and he uses it to tame the blinded Quade deSade. Jack winds back and then knocks Quade across the head with a huge shot which sends Quade reeling. Jack throws the pan across the room and hits Quade in the back as he runs and then closelines Quade to the floor.

HS – Lori’s trained him well. He certainly knows his way around the kitchen

Jack grabs Quade by the hair and starts dragging him out of the food court while occasionally kneeing Quade in the gut. Quade seems to battle back and he starts to hammer Jack over to the electronics section. Quade directs Jack toward the music section as he DDT's Jack in the aisle. Quade slowly picks up Jack and then throws him into a music shelf knocking it over into another causing a chain reaction. Jack lays bloodied in the pile of broken CD's as he turns over and tries to get up. Quade runs down the aisle and he comes back with a TV! Quade places it on a shelf as he goes for Happy. Jack has no defence as Quade throws Jack into a cement wall reeling Jack near the TV. Quade runs to follow but Jack grabs the TV and smashes it on Quade’s head shattering glass everywhere. Jack kicks Quade in the mid-section and then piledrives him on the glass shards! .Jack pulls him up by the hair and slams him against checkout #19. Happy starts hammering on Quade and wheels him through the check out. We see a cashier come out of nowhere and flash her light. She's none other than 'J'. She gets on the P.A. and says:

J- We need a price check on a loser please. One confused loser...PRICE CHECK!

Jack smiles at her and she smiles back. She then hands him an iron shopping basket and Happy takes it from her. Happy starts pummelling on Quade's head with the basket busting him open with it. Jack rolls Quade from the checkout and Quade falls hard on the ground. Quade tries to get up but Jack Happy gets him ready and applies a Happy Daze! Jack signals the ref to get ready to make the count and jack hooks the leg. 1...2...no! Quade raised his arm just in time, right before the 3 count. Jack can't believe it and starts arguing with the ref about a slow count, in Jack's mind. Quade slowly gets up, Jack spins around and starts walking towards Quade. DeSade gets energy out of who knows where and does a powerful, devastating spear on Happy and both men lay on the ground but Quade's on top of Happy. The ref can't believe what he's seeing and eventually makes the count.... 1...2... Incredible! Jack raised his shoulder from the ground! Jack turns Quade around and the both men try to get up slowly and all groggy. Quade gets up first and throws a punch at Jack but Happy dodges it and applies a Happy Ending on the concrete floor. DeSade tries to fight the pain, but eventually has no option but to tap out.

HS - Jack Happy wins it! What an incredible match and there's blood spilled all over the place!

The camera cuts back to the Astrodome as “The Sunny Side of the Street” plays and Steve Harris, AWA reporter and former roommate of Bull Majors walks down the ramp toward the ring. The fans are confused as to what this man is doing coming to the ring and they grumble in confusion. He has a microphone with him and walks up the steps to the ring. He steps through the ropes and into the ring.

Steve- “I know that you all are wondering who is this guy and what the hell is he doing in the ring. Well, the answer is simple. I am an AWA reporter with a scoop to give the world. It has been a few months that I have known the man known as Bull Majors and I always believed there was something behind the mask besides the good guy we all saw. Today, I present to you all an important fact about Bull Majors.”

(He signals and the AWAtron begins to play. We see the footage of his prying the locker door open and revealing the contents of locker #11. In the footage, we see Steve hold up first the card with the initials S.O.C. He lays the card on the bench and reaches in the locker pulling out a military style jacket that is camouflaged with the colours brown, cream, and tan. There is a nametag that is sewn onto the breast of the jacket. It reads NIGHTMIST!! He hangs the jacket up and pulls out a picture. It reads Elimination Enterprises at the bottom and in the picture are Crimson Dream, Creature of the Night, Jack Happy, Hangman, Nightmist, Punisher, and Snakebite. The picture is dusty and faded with age. The scene changes footage from Nightmists AWA career: Nightmist swinging the hammer helping to cripple Legion, Nightmist and Weston Steele in a brawl in a saloon, and Nightmist and Dave Santini in a Boiler Room Brawl. The clips end with a menacing looking Nightmist and the rest of Elimination Enterprises delivering a bloody beating to the Alliance.)

Steve- “That is the real Bull Majors. His name is Nightmist! I don’t know what his intentions are but the Sunny Side of the Street is not the side that he walked on.”

FJ – WHAT ? Bull Majors is Nightmist…Wait until Dave Santini finds out !!

(“A Little Warm Death” by Cassandra Wilson strikes up and we see an image of Nightmist sitting on an expensively embroidered rug with candles and incense burning around him. His head is bowed as he meditates. The camera pulls away from him revealing that he sits on the marble floor of what seems to be a mausoleum. The screen freezes on this image and the words TIME IS UP appear on the screen. Steve leaves the ring and leaves the fans stunned in the audience.)

FJ: I can't believe what we just saw!! Bull Majors is Nightmist! What a blockbuster?
HS: It all makes sense now. When we saw Bull Majors set up Vacamas for the Texas Pine Box and wondered how he did it as if it was second nature, it was because he had done it before!
FJ: Bull Majors is a fraud! He duped all of the AWA fans.
HS: Let's not rush to judgement. The man hasn't had a chance to speak for himself.
FJ: I heard all I need to hear! He played us all for a fool!
HS: …
FJ: Next up Herb we have the Patriot Games 3 fall match up between C-Rock and SnakeBite. This has the makings to be an excellent match up Herb
HS: I agree totally, both these wrestlers have a lot of bad blood in them and we should see an all out war.

(Quickly “Made You Look” by Nas comes in loudly over the PA, as the fans cheer out for C-Rock. C-Rock emerging from behind the entrance curtain walking out onto the plat form in a pair of dark denim jeans, a dark tee shirt, and a single over sized elbow pad on his right elbow. Holding steel chair in his hand he raises it high in the air as he slaps the US title belted around his waste to a large pop from the fans. He walks down into the looking back up awaiting SnakeBite. )

FJ: Big cheers from the fans here in Texas Herb, looks like a lot of them are behind C-Rock in his title defence.
HS: It does look that way doesn’t it. But Snakebite isn’t out yet.

(After a moment, 'Back in the Saddle' blares over the PA as the former hardcore and tag team champion emerges onto the Entrance Ramp with a smug smile to his face. Snakebite with a pair of thick chains dangling from his hands extends them out before him and quickly spins them over his knuckles and under palm wrapping them tightly around his fists. Punching his fist together he begins to walk down the entrance ramp. )

FJ: Snakebite looks pretty confidant also.
HS: He’s got Chains! God damn chains around his god damn fists. That will knock the taste out of your mouth.
FJ: That’s a definite fact Herb, this is gonna be a hell of a street fight. Wait he is stopping?!?

(Snakebite stopping midway down the entrance ramp, as C-Rock looks onto him waving him forward with the chair held tightly in his hands. Snakebite, the smug grin on his face gets larger as he turns to the entrance curtain. Slowly we see a female form emerge from behind the curtain slowly the mystery lady reveals herself to be … NADIA! )

HS: It’s NADIA!!! C-Rocks old girl friend!
FJ: Some people have no respect for a man’s former personal life.

(C-Rock look highly aggravated pounds the chair against the ring as now both Snakebite and Nadia walks down to the ring side by side. Snakebite climbing into the ring as Nadia looking into the ring at C-Rock. C-Rock focuses his attention between both Snakebite and Nadia. Quickly the bell sounds, and Snakebite goes in for the attack. Snakebite almost catching C-Rock off guard attempts to rock him in the jaw with a strong right from his chain cover hands but is blocked by the chair. CLANG CLANG CLANG, the sound of metal on metal as C-Rock holding the chair from both ends blocks the violent swings of Snakebite. )

HS: This gives a new meaning to the term coming out swinging.
FJ: Nadia looks a lot better since we all last saw her, Wow-Wee
HS: The match Frank…
FJ: Yeah I am sure it’s great ... You think she is seeing anyone?

(C-Rock trying to makes sense of the whole Nadia business is still holding strong with the chair he blocks blow after blow from Snakebite. After a moment he comes to his senses realise his is in a match for his belt and quickly takes a quick gambit of moving the chair and booting Snakebite in the gut with a kick. Snakebite stumbling back briefly stands back up but is jarred again with a jab into the gut with the brim of the chair. )

HS: C-Rock on the come back.

(C-Rock briefly looking behind him skips back briskly into the ropes and comes back at Snakebite running slamming his exposed elbow into the face his face. Snakebite quickly is knocked off of his feet and falls down to the mat hard. C-Rock straddling over Snakebite taking the chair at both end holds it above Snakebite and begins to pound it down onto his face. A “OH OH OH OH” comes from the fans with ever pound by C-Rock )

HS: That is brutal, just plain brutal.
FJ: I know she should be close to the announce table.
HS: Are you even watching the match?
FJ: Sure I am, what’s his face is creaming that dude … you know the one.

(Nadia suddenly looking over to C-Rock, waves him to her. C-Rock taking attention to it shakes his head NO. Nadia how ever persists and gives him an innocent looking face. C-Rock looks looking down to Snakebite tosses the chair to his side and walks over to the ropes and looks to her as if to say “WHAT!”.)

FJ: That’s right baby, there’s only on man for you. I bet they are getting back together.

(Nadia waves C-Rock to lean over the ropes, as he does so placing cupping her mouth she begins to whisper something into C-Rock’s ear. A small smile comes across the face of C-Rock, as he listens to her. C-Rock then stands up right again, smiles down to her as she playfully smiles back. C-Rock however doesn’t notice that Snakebite is up. From behind Snakebite comes with the chain and wraps it around the throat of C-Rock. C-Rock grabbing the chain tries to pull it from around his neck but Snakebite pulls tighter. Suddenly the smiling and playful expression on Nadia’s face turns bitter and angry as she flips off C-Rock. )

HS: Ah, the “One Fingered Salute” never trusts women.

(Snakebite looks down to Nadia as he tighten his hold on C-Rock, and kicks C-Rock’s chair out of the ring to Nadia. Snakebite forces the head of C-Rock out of the ring as Nadia picks up the chair. BAM. Nadia with as much force as she can muster slams the chair onto the head of C-Rock. Snakebite releases his hold around C-Rock’s neck as C-Rock’s eyes widen and stumbles back into the centre of the ring and falls flat on his back. Snakebite goes for the cover. 1 … 2 … 3 … the bell sounds. )

FJ: Oh the ultimate double cross.
HS: Well actually there wasn’t much of a double cross, I mean technically Nadia was Snakebite Valet.
FJ: I hate you.
HS: Well that is the first fall of the Evening, you winner Snakebite of the Chicago street fight next up we have HELL IN THE CELL. The ring men have taking C-Rock to the outside of the ring to examine him if his is fit to wrestle another match.

(Two medic type gentlemen look over C-Rock, who appears to again have his attention on Nadia as she laughs with Snakebite. Nadia looking over to C-Rock waves and blows him a kiss mockingly as Snakebite joins in the fun of laughing at C-Rocks expense. Nadia begins to walk back up the entrance ramp exiting the arena C-Rock with a fire in his eyes looks to the medical works pushes them away and walks back to the ring as it lowers from above, the two medic look at each other and shrug as they give the thumbs up to the ref. )

HS: Well the attendance gave the OK for C-Rock to compete in the next match, and C-Rock looks like he is ready to put a hurt on Snakebite.

(Both C-Rock and Snakebite now stand in the ring as the cage has been enclosed around them. Both Snakebite and C-Rock look to each other in a cold stare as the bell sounds. The two neither move in on each other right away, but slowly circle each other like two animals in a cage. The two lock up as C-Rock takes advantage setting up Snakebite for a power bomb taking a few quickly placed steps forward and slamming him down to the mat hard with a Running Power Bomb. C-Rock springing back up to his feet begins circle around Snakebite, with each time his attempt to come to his feet he is kick back down to the mat by C-Rock. )

HS: The Champion circling around Snakebite, appearing to yell a number of things down to Snakebite.
FJ: I can hear what he is saying, but in good taste I won’t mention them.
HS: Four letter words huh?
FJ: Four, Five … some words I am not sure C-Rock even knows what they mean.

(C-Rock after a few moments drops down onto Snakebite with an elbow drop, mixing in a shot to the ribs on Snakebite. Snakebite rolls over to his side holding his ribs as he climbs back to his feet. C-Rock locking up with Snakebite again but is met with a head butt from Snakebite. Snakebite pulling up on the hair of C-Rock bring him to eye level and hooks C-Rock in the jaw with a punch. C-Rock spinning around is then taken into a reverse headlock from Snakebite and brought down hard on the mat with an Inverted DDT. )

HS: The tables turn often.
FJ: Yeah the AWA puts wheels on them so they do that.

(Snakebite goes for the pin 1 … 2 …kick out. C-Rock throws and arm up and breaks the count. Snakebite coming back to his feet pulls C-Rock up into a standing position. Snakebite getting C-Rock into a head lock throws a couple knees into his gut. Looking out to the crowd Snakebite hoists C-Rock up into a Suplex, but loses footing and drops C-Rock down onto his feet still locked in the headlock. C-Rock turning the tables wraps and arm around the chest of Snakebite using all the power he can lifts Snakebite into the air and pounds him down hard with a Soviet Suplex. The two spring slightly off the mat, and lay motionless briefly. )

FJ: Boom, excellent move by the champ. Both these man seem very tired though.

(The fans in the arena begin to chant “Get up, Get Up” loudly pounding there feet against the floor )

HS: The fans of Texas are rowdy tonight.

(Slowly we see motion in the bodies of both men, C-Rock climbs onto a knee as Snakebite a little better is now beginning to stand. Snakebite, however as he stands, is quickly speared hard by linemen positioned C-Rock. Snakebite righting high on the shoulder of C-Rock is plowed strait into the cage, breaking out of it. Both men having crashed out of the cage fall to the ringside mat below. )

FJ: If you want something made right for wrestling, buy something Asian. They are always using bombs and blowtorches, ninja sword in their matches. Their ring equipment is durable.
HS: Well you are Mister Authority on Wrestling Equipment now huh?
FJ: Now? I always was.

(The fans Cheer loudly for C-Rock as he stand up from the crushing and crashing blow to Snakebite. C-Rock looking to all the fans slowly points to the top of the Cage and then to Snakebite. C-Rock pulling Snakebite to his feet walks him over to the Mexican Announce Table. Three portly Mexican announcers stand up in shock and make there way away from the announce table as C-Rock lays Snakebite onto it. )

HS: The poor Mexican Announcers, all they ever do is lose the table.
FJ: Wow, we air in Mexico

(Herb shakes his head as we look back to C-Rock as he climbs high on the top of the cage. The fans cheer loudly as C-Rock he slides the oversized elbow pad down around his wrist rubbing his bare right elbow for a moment. He leaps a great height off the top of the cage adding another foot or two to his all ready high drop and smashes onto Snakebite with high powered Elbow Smash )

HS: ELBOW SMASH OFF THE TOP OF THE CAGE SHATTERING THE TABLE.
FJ: bye bueno amigos…

( C-Rock lays his arm over Snakebite, as the ref looking out counts. 1 … 2 … 3 … The two medics again run to both C-Rock and Snakebite helping them up and looking them over. )

HS: Well both men now are on each other 1 and 1, looks like this will be the final and deciding match up.
FJ: sí
HS: Will you shut up…
FJ: Apreciaría encontrar la abuelita de cuarto de baño
HS: I am your grandma, and something about the bathroom?
FJ: sí
HS: Well great … it looks like both of the our combatants are cleared to wrestle in our third and final match for the US title.

(Both C-Rock and Snakebite appear a little shaken from the last two matches but are ok now to wrestle the third. The cage has been raised and now in its places on the far right ring post a 10-foot pole has been erected. From it is a small thin rope and from that rope. The AWA US Title. )

HS: For this out last match, we have a large pole at the corner of the ring with the champion C-Rock’s very own belt hanging up for grabs, there is no ref for this match, who ever gets the belt keeps it far and square. Both of these men did look tired but now with the site of the gold it does appear to have sparked interest and they are ready for their last match of the evening.

(The bell sounds, quickly C-Rock runs from his corner and chops Snakebite down with a cloths line, not appearing to stop and heading for the belt. Leaping onto the Middle rope he reaches for his belt, but he still has quite a bit of distance to go in obtaining it. Lifting his foot onto the top rope pushing up his is a bit closer to it as it dangles just above his fingers however this has now given Snakebite time to stand up. Snakebite moving over to C-Rock pulling him down backward onto his back down into the ring, and more importantly away from the belt. Snakebite climbing to the middle rope, however not focusing on the belt just yet comes down onto C-Rock with a forearm smash onto the ground from the ropes. )

HS: Both these men have a new fighting spirit.
FJ: Agreed Herb, they are both trying to over take each other.

(C-Rock coming back to his feet goes blow for blow with Snakebite both men exchanging punch after punch centre ring. C-Rock taking the advantage locks up and bring Snakebite down with a strong standing cloths line. )

HS: C-Rock realising the error of his ways is now going to try to get Snakebite out of the picture before trying for the belt again.

(C-Rock dropping down onto Snakebite with an elbow but just misses as Snakebite rolls out of the way. C-Rock rolling onto his side holding his elbow, which has seen a lot of action this battle, is quickly met with a boot to the face from the still laying Snakebite. Snakebite comes to his feet reaches down from around behind the back of C-Rock and pulls him up to his feet. With his hands planted firmly around his waist Snakebite flips back hard on C-rock with a German Suplex bring him down on his neck and shoulders. Not finished he does it again, and yet again. 3 German Suplexes in a row before finally leaving C-Rock where he lay. )

FJ: There is that chain of suplexes Snakebite has adopted into his wrestling hit list.
HS: Very good you have been paying attention. Snakebite looks to be going for the belt.

(Snakebite, while C-Rock lay on the ground, makes his way to the corner with the belt and climbs up on top ropes Snakebite now standing on the top rope much like C-Rock is just inches away from grabbing the belt just as C-Rock stumbling to his feet shuffles forward and falls onto the ring ropes. As the ropes shake so does the turnbuckle, Snakebite loses footing and falls one leg in the right one to the outside. His legs divide on the ring ropes as he lands hard on the rope in his crotch area. )

FJ: Ouch!
HS: That’s for sure.

(Snakebite, sitting painfully on the ropes as we can see in his face is quickly relieved from his burden as C-Rock shaking the ropes causes to fall to the outside of the ring. C-Rock soon following him out of the ring, stands kicking up a piece of the outside padding to reveal the cement below. C-Rock sets him up for the “Regulator” over the cold hard cement. A number of hands come from over the railing patting C-Rock on the back. He desperately tries to pull the move off, but Snakebite fights it, time and time again. C-Rock being fed up just pulls Snakebite into the air and brings him down onto the cement with a Piledriver. )

HS: Well he couldn’t quite get his move off, but it look like the Piledriver did the job. Snakebite looks out cold, or is he?
FJ: He ‘is’ out cold … he ‘looks’ dead.

(C-Rock sliding back into the ring, looks to his belt then looks out to the fans. C-Rock looking out over them puts a hand in the air proclaiming an early victory. The fans cheer loudly for C-Rock, but suddenly someone comes down from the entrance ramp. Again its NADIA! She runs down to the ring and slides in. )

HS: Oh no, Nadia is back again.
FJ: You say it likes it’s a bad thing.

(Nadia looking very mad comes up behind C-Rock with a poorly performed Axe Handle hit. C-Rock barely noticing the weak hit turns around and looks to Nadia. Suddenly a look of fear comes into her eyes, as she notices she is toe to toe with the man she cost the match for in the opening. C-Rock stalks closer and closer to her backing her into the very corner with the with the belt. C-Rock looks up to the belt and smiles looking to her and pointing to himself. We can hear him yell “I the belt is mine … not anyone else.” Nadia looks out of the ring to where Snakebite lays, as C-Rock turns a suddenly look of shock comes across him as he sees that Snakebite is no longer where he was laying. Almost as instantly as we see the expression on C-Rock’s face we see Snakebite running up behind C-Rock planting his on hand down onto C-Rock’s should spring him self into the air and grabbing a hold of the US Championship Title. Snakebite wins. )

HS: That was it Nadia was just enough of a distraction to give Snakebite enough time to collect himself.
FJ: The best part is Snakebite couldn’t have got the win without C-Rock.
HS: Huh?
FJ: He was a real shoulder to lean on … C-Rock really Boosted Snakebites Career. Get it?
HS: Man you are an asshole.

(Nadia having quickly slide out of the ring as C-Rock looked away he now turns back and sees Snakebite stands behind him, the new AWA US Champion. Snakebite sliding out of the ring holds the title high in his hands backing up the entrance ramp with Nadia laughing at C-Rock, who out of anger takes a punch at the turnbuckle. )

HS: There he is, your new US Champion Snakebite

(The shot cuts backstage where we see AWA World Champion, Hangman leaning up against one of the walls. He's talking to someone in an adjoining room but we can't see them...only Hangman.)

(HM)"Dave Santini THINKS he has control over my match.. He has none. Tonight not only do I take this match...but we set the world on edge. The influence of power shifts again. When will they learn?"

(Apparently the person he's talking to makes a gesture because Hangman nods approvingly.)

(HM)"Guess I'll see ya when I see ya then."

(The scene cuts back to where Herb and Frank are sitting)

HS: Now we have the Main Event of the PPV. Ray Owens challenged Hangman to this match. He wants to win the World Title for the fifth time, but after his last match against Hangman, I don’t know if he will be healed enough for this challenge.

Footage from the submissions match is shown ending with Owens left in the wreckage of the table.

FJ: Owens is a trooper and I know that he wouldn’t miss this match for all the tea in China!

“Made You Look” by Nas plays and C-Rock walks out on to the ramp. He receives a mixed reaction from the fans. He stops and looks back toward the opening and “That Don’t Impress Me Much” by Shania Twain begins to play. “Lethal” Louise walks out with the Women’s Championship belt is wrapped around her waist. Taking C-Rocks arm they both stand on the ramp. “Dro in the Wind” by Trick Daddy plays and Notorious walks out. They stop to high five each other before walking over to high five C-Rock. They walk down and surround the ring.

HS: Santini didn’t do anyone a favor by announcing C-Rock, Notorious, Dark Warrior, and Louise will be the Lumber Jacks.
FJ: That group doesn’t have any affection for either of the men in this match tonight.

"Parabola" by Tool plays and Ray Owens walks out raising his arms in the air. The fans cheer at the sight of Owens after witnessing the footage from the submissions match. Owens jogs down the ramp and slides into the ring. He climbs up on the bottom rope facing the ramp and begins to wave on Hangman.

Ray- “Come on! Get out here!”

HS: Owens wanting to get things started in a hurry here.

"Back in the Saddle" by Aerosmith plays and out comes Hangman wearing a black cowboy hat, Jesse James Gang style coat, and a rope with a hangman's noose. He comes out on horseback carrying a bottle of Jack Daniels. He rides to the ring and climbs down from his horse. He turns up the bottle of Jack Daniels before walking over and setting it on the announce teams table. He removes the other items before climbing into the ring.

FJ: It is the moment of truth for these AWA wrestling greats.

The bell rings and Owens faints like he is shooting in. Hangman pulls his punch and the two men circle. Owens kicks the big man in the midsection with no effect. He does it again with the same outcome. He cocks back and throws a right hand, but Hangman blocks it and returns one of his own. Owens catches Hangman with a right. Hangman returns fire with another right that rocks Owens. Owens throws another one only to have it blocked and Hangman staggers him with a big right. Hangman takes the opportunity to pull Owens in for a hanging ! vertical suplex. A leg drop from Hangman and Owens rolls to his side trying to get to his feet. Hangman begins to kick away at the challenger. Owens under assault is pulled to his feet and whipped into the ropes. Hangman goes for the big boot and Owens ducks under hitting the ropes behind the big man. Hangman wheels around and Owens delivers a dropkick to the leg, causing Hangman to topple to the mat. Owens quickly grabs the leg and pulls it up only to drive the knee into the mat with force. Hangman attempts to get to his feet but Owens grabs the leg and does it again. Owens applies the Boston Crab to Hangman.

Hangman powers out of the hold sending Owens over to the mat and Hangman climbs to his feet. Owens gets to his feet and Hangman catches him with a running clothesline. Owens crashes hard. Hangman limping pulls Owens up and gorilla press slams him to the mat.

HS: Owens is in trouble!

Hangman goes to pull Owens up and Owens pokes him in the eye. Owens with a series of kicks to the injured leg as Hangman tries to limp away from the assault. A German release suplex from Owens and Hangman lands hard. Owens slowly gets to his feet beating Hangman. A kick to the midsection doubles him over chicken wing suplex by Owens. Owens wastes no time going after the leg once more. He single leg Boston Crab from Owens and Hangman struggles in the hold eventually pulling himself to the ropes to break the hold. Owens doesn’t release the hold and only leans back further. The referee threatens to disqualify Owens. He begins to count. Owens releases at the last possible moment. Hangman struggles to climb to his feet with the injured leg. Owens approaches and kicks the leg viciously. He does this again. Hangman manages to reach out and grab Owens. He pulls him forward and slings him through the ropes to the outside where the lurking lumberjacks stand. Owens lands hard. C-Rock drives the boot into the midsection while Poppa and F-Bomb pound him with fist and forearms before rolling him back into the ring.

FJ: Ow! Owens mugged on the outside by the lumber jacks!
HS: Veteran move by the World Champion!

Hangman pulls up and delivers a tombstone pile driver to Owens. Hangman goes into the ropes and drops the leg. He covers 1..2 kickout!

HS: Owens was dangerously close to getting pinned.

Hangman pulls Owens up and whips him into the ropes. Hangman catches him coming off with the big boot to the face. Owens crumples to the ground. Hangman goes into the ropes for the leg drop again, only this time as he hits the ropes. Dark Warrior and C-Rock grab his feet and pull him out of the ring. Dark Warrior and C-Rock pummel him as they pull him out of the ring. Louise gets into the act with a kick south of the boarder!

HS: I told you that Santini didn’t do either of these men a favor by naming this crew.

After a few more big time punches that rock Hangman’s head back and forth between them, C-Rock and Dark Warrior roll Hangman back into the ring. Both Owens and Hangman are down. Hangman begins to get to his feet and hobbles toward Owens who is pulling himself up only to fall backwards unstably. Hangman hammers him with a couple of big rights before pulling him up into a Gorilla Press. Owens begins to squirm and manages to slip out of Hangman’s grasp. Owens uses a Russian leg sweep taking Hangman down. Cross arm-breaker is applied by Owens. Hangman grunts as Owens tries to pull the arm out of joint. The referee checks on Hangman who angrily waves him away. Hangman tries to pull free but each time, Owens cranks harder causing Hangman to fall back to the mat. Hangman struggles to his knee and begins to pulls himself to his feet. Owens refuses to let go and clings to Hangman. Hangman shows his strength by grabbing hold of Owens with his other free hand and lifting him. Owens let’s loose of the arm to try to fend off what is coming but to no avail. Hangman delivers a big power slam. Hangman now angered even more than usual, drops down and begins to choke Owens with his good arm. Owens grabs at the big hand and kicks his legs trying to free himself from the vice-like grip. The referee threatening to disqualify him calls for the break. Hangman complies only to reach down and sling Owens out of the ring again. The lumber jacks converge on him once more. Louise slaps him across the face as he begins to recover from his exit. The sound of the slap has the fans gasping. Then Owens is once again mobbed by Papa and F-Bomb who pound him with rights and lefts before sliding him back into the ring.

Hangman stomps away at Owens as he enters the ring. Owens is visibly weakened by the series of events. Hangman pulls him up and powerbombs him with force. Owens head slams into the mat. Hangman not satisfied pulls him up by the hair. Hangman taunts him before Gorilla Press Slamming him to the mat. Hangman drops the leg and covers 1…2..kickout!

FJ: Look at the intestinal fortitude shown by the former champion. Owens refuses to call it quits in this match.
HS: Owens can’t take more of this punishment.

Hangman pulls him up and whips him to the corner turnbuckle. Owens slams into the turnbuckles and slumps. Hangman takes the opportunity to charge in with a big boot but Owens manages drop to the mat and avoid the kick. Hangman kicks the pole! He clutches at his leg aggravating the damage already done by Owens. Owens takes advantage of the situation and delivers some knife-edge chops and punches to Hangman. An excellently executed German Suplex from Owens. Hangman and Owens are down on the canvas with Owens crawling toward his injured leg. Owens gets on his knees and drives the elbow into the leg before applying the Boston Crab again. Hangman claws at the mat in pain as the referee asks him if he submits. He shakes his head vigorously no. Hangman begins to drag Owens toward the rope. Only this time, right before he can reach it. Owens summons the strength to pull him back a few steps away from the ring ropes. Owens drops one leg and applies the SWEEPER!! Hangman groans and shakes his head no at the referee. He then squirms enough to reach the ropes.

FJ: Owens almost turned the tables enough to take home the title!

Once into the ropes, the referee calls for the break but Owens refuses to do it. This evokes the count from the referee. At the last moment, he releases the hold. Owens still feeling the effects of the punishment is moving slow. He begins to kick and stomp at Hangman’s leg.

HS: Owens on a mission to gain a submissions victory. I guess after the last time these two men were in the ring that is what stays on his mind.

Hangman manages to get to his feet but is seriously hobbled. Owens delivers the knife-edge chops and punches to the limping champion. He breaks off the assault and attempts to drive Hangman across the ring and ram his head into the turnbuckle. Hangman uses his arms to put on the breaks. He sends a back elbow to Owens face stunning him. Hangman wheels and levels him with a clothesline from hell. Hangman drops the leg on him for good measure before picking him up and applying the bear hug. Owens can’t seem to get free of the hold and strength seems to be waning.

FJ: Hangman is squeezing the life out of him!

The referee checks on Owens who shakes his head no when asked to give up. But after a few seconds, there is no response to the question. The referee raises the hand and it falls limply to the side. The referee raises one finger to the audience. Hangman only jockeys Owens body around to double the pressure. The referee raises the hand again and it falls limply to his side. The referee holds up two fingers to the audience. He raises the arm of Owens only to have Hangman jerk Owens’ body away from the referee’s grasp. Hangman throws Owens limp body to the mat.

HS: This doesn’t look good for Owens.

Hangman turns around and begins yelling obscenities at the lumberjacks. All of the lumberjacks converge on the side where Hangman has walked to the ropes in the midst of his tirade. They dare Hangman to come out of the ring. Hangman turns his back on them and limps back over to the fallen Owens and pulls him up in a Gorilla Press. He walks him over to the ropes and tosses him onto the lumberjacks. The C-Rock and Dark Warrior take the brunt of the ballistic Owens. F-Bomb and Poppa yell at Hangman before turning their attention to Owens. F-Bomb pulls him up in a full nelson and Poppa delivers some viscous shots to the body. The two men roll the helpless Owens into the ring. Hangman pulls Owens up and sends him to the ropes. SOUTHERN COMFORT!!

FJ: Southern Comfort!! Hangman has just connected with his finisher!

Hangman covers 1..2..3!!

Announcer: Your winner and still AWA World Champion! Hangman!

HS: This seems unfair! These lumberjacks have already had a shot at Owens. How is he going to survive 60 more seconds after the beating he took from Hangman!

Hangman is handed his title belt and he gestures from the lumberjacks to the fallen Owens. The lumberjacks swarm into the ring and begin their assault. Owens lying in the centre of the ring is a prime target for Dark Warrior who has scaled the turnbuckles. Dark Warrior leaps off delivering the High Death. Owens body jolts with the impact of the move. F-Bomb has followed suit by scaling another turnbuckle and delivers the Soaring Eagle!

Suddenly “Pour Some Sugar On Me” strikes up and Dave”The Rave” Santini and his latest protégé, LJ Vacamas appear on the rampway. The hit the ring running and slide in before cockily watching the destruction of former World Champion, Ray Owens continue. C-Rock watches these two acts with a smile on his face before cockily walking over to the fallen Owens. He jaws at him for a minute before pulling him up from the mat. C-Rock sets him up for the Regulator and nails it. He mock pins him as Louise acts like a referee and counts. C-Rock gets off of him and pulls him up. Louise takes the cue and connects with the Lights Out!! Owens is sent backward crashing to the mat and not moving. He lies there only breathing. Poppa looks around dramatically drawing attention to himself before gesturing to himself. He pulls Owens up and hoists him on his shoulders. He delivers the Big Up!!

FJ: This is just too brutal! Thank God the 60 seconds is over!

Owens battered body lies motionless in the ring as the group of lumberjacks congratulate themselves with high fives and pats on the back. However, without mercy Santini pulls the limp Ray Owens to his feet and nails him with a brutal Ravin’Driver. He pulls a mic out of his jacket pocket and begins to talk

SANTINI – Hangman, this is in honour for you, Mr.World Champion. You may have thought you had won the battle over Dave Santini, but all you did is caused the wrath of me and every other wrestler in this ring. Saturday night the retribution will start when you face Dark Warrior AND C-Rock in the Main Event. Elimination Enterprises beware, because this WAR has only just began. Suddenly “Back in the Saddle” strikes up once more, but as the crowd breathes heavily expecting the return of Hangman, they are instead greeted with Bull Majors, Snakebite, “Lustful” Laura and Sauvio

(The camera cuts to the back where we see a battered Hangman limping out to his car. Along the way, the camera's mic picks up on him as he says...)

(HM)"Happy and Lori want to have a moment together then they can do this without me. I'm thirsty and I've got plans to make."

(Looking into the camera)

"So you can tell Happy that I did him the best thing I could for him and that is not be there. Now get that damn camera outta my face!"

(The camera cuts back to the arena., where Dave Santini and his accomplices are retreating as Bull, Snakebite, Sauvio and Laura reach the ring. Suddenly, "Animotion" by Obsession plays over the PA as Lori parts the curtains along with her half-brother, Ian Koristovich i.e.'The Russian Annhiliator.')

(Herb)"Whoa boy! I knew Lori was gonna have some back-up tonight, but I wasn't expecting that monstrosity."
(Frank)"Well, if you need someone to watch your back, it's always nice to have someone with the moniker 'Annihilator' somewhere in there. I know I'd be one to let things play out in the ring."

(Ian holds the ropes for her as Lori steps inside the ring. Tapping the mic a few times, she speaks...)

"Greetings to you all. From what I've heard, Jack is on his way to the building and it shouldn't be long until he gets here. I wanted to time this out so that you wouldn't have to wait very..."

(With that, the TitanTron flickers to life. We see the HappyMobile pull intothe parking lot as the crowd pops. Jack eventually emerges from the van and brings Pearly in tow.)

(Frank)"Wow. Haven't seen Pearly in a while."
(Herb)"What the hell is wrong with you Frank? First it's elephants. Now hyenas?"
(Frank)"Pearly understands me Herb. Besides, he's always good natured and can laugh at things."
(Herb)"You're beyond help aren't you?"
(Frank)"Yup."

("Let's Go Crazy" by Prince plays over the PA as the crowd cheers to the PPV's theme music. Yellow pyro’s go off and evil yellow happy faces light up a path down to the runway as Jack plays to the crowd and gets pumped up at the sight of a packed arena. As he sees his betrothed in the ring, he blows her a few kisses before making his way to the ring. Holding the ropes for Pearly, he then enters and asks for a mic.)

(JH)"Okay Lori. All night I've been wondering what this announcement is about. Now, I know you've told me that it's pretty serious and directly involves me. I hope it's not that I need to go on another diet. I mean, you remember how hardit was for me the last time right?"

(Frank)"And that was only to lose a pound!"
(Herb)"The first is always the toughest."
(Frank)"I always thought the first was special."
(Herb)"Shut your piehole."

(JH)"Okay. All kidding aside, what's up baby? Is there a frowny-faced frumpcake that's got you worried? Has Gray tried to mess with our contracts again? Or is it C-Rock and his shoes? I mean, C-Rock has some great shoes and all, but they could never fit on my feet and you know what they say about clowns with large feet right? Right. So lemme know. You know I'm in your corner. We've been through a lot. I'm not about to let you down at this point."

(Lori smiles warmly at Jack. The crowd is on the edge of their seats as she walks back and forth a bit excitedly.)

(Lori)"Look Jack. I'm just gonna come on out with this. You see, I've been pretty moody the past few days and I'm so sorry that you faced the brunt of all that."

(Jack)"Hey, no sweat snookums. I mean, you're a woman and...well...the light bulb is dim but it still comes on. I understand that once a month women go through a very sensitive moment in their lives and they need support from their significant other. So if it's to tell me that well...you know...Uncle Red stopped by to say hi...it's all groovy and gravy."

(Lori)"No Jack. It's not that."

(Jack)"Oh. Well that's cool then. I know. Maybe it's with the housecleaning and all. Look, I know I've been slacking off on the vacuuming and the dishes. I promise I'll do those tonight. And the laundry...I'm all over that like burritos on a plate!"

(Lori)"No Jack. Let me just say that..."

(Jack)"I haven't been giving you a lot of attention have I? I'll be honest, most of my energies have been with the PPV and the fans and the food industry as a whole. Of course, with all of this pretty much done...I'm gonna give you all the undivided attention you can handle and then some! I'm thinking dinner...a movie....another dinner...maybe some putt-putt? Then we could go back to our house and...well...I'll make sure you're smiling for all the right reasons. Then we could have some more dinner!"

(Lori)"WAIT!"

(Jack)"Right. I'm waiting. Got all the time in the world."

(Lori)"I'm glad you feel that way hon. However, you won't need to wait that long. I'm thinking more along the lines of...ohhh...I dunno...maybe....nine months?"

(The crowd erupts!)

(Herb)"Whohoooo!!!! What an announcement!"
(Frank)"Huh? I don't get it."
(Herb)"Let's just say the stork is gonna be calling."
(Frank)"Ohhhhhh. Jack's into animals too?"
(Herb)"No dumbass. Can you say BABY?"
(Frank)"Oh that's just plain sick. Wait. You mean....?"
(Herb)"Well it took you most of the damn show to finally get a point. Glad you got one. Keep it near and dear to you."

(Jack's face is one of shock. He begins to pace around the ring as Lori watches on nervously. Tapping the mic up against his head a few times, he then speaks...)

(Jack)"Ya know, now I have a situation that I never thought I'd be facing. I mean...on the one hand I have the great fans of the AWA and this company for which I've shed blood, sweat, and tears for. On the other hand, I have the woman that I love telling me that she's giving me the most precious gift a woman can give a man besides her eternal love and that is....a legacy....an heir to the clowned throne. I could just keep on doing what I'm doing and main eventing show after damn show. Or I could just say 'to hell with it all,' and make sure that you have the easiest nine months of your life. Oh what to do? What to do people?"

(The crowd starts chanting 'Jack!' 'Jack!' 'Jack!')

(Jack)"Yeah I know my name. Thanks. I needed that. I mean I was beginning to feel like I was Snakebite with a big 'ol problem. However, my HappyItes have spoken. Well, they haven't really SAID a lot, but they didn't need to. They have the gift of saying much in a few words. Maybe they're Greek or something? I heard that language was pretty damn powerful. Not as powerful as me, but close enough."

"Anywho, what it all boils down to is that I need to make a decision here and now. You know me Lori. Though I love to play games...this isn't a time to do something like that. This is where I handle things straight up. So...with all that said Lori....I've made a decision. I've listened to both sides of the argument and it really didn't take me long to come up with what I plan on doing with the next year or so of my life."

(Herb)"Oh hell! This is unexpected! Jack is about to make a MAJOR career decision."
(Frank)"Yeah. I mean, it's not like he's a spring chicken. Though he's not an old geezer either I suppose. Still...a year is a long time off of one's life. Like a dog year for Jack."
(Herb)"Remember that point that you finally got a while back?"
(Frank)"Yeah."
(Herb)"Do you want a point to pop out of your head after I smack you off the concrete?"
(Frank)"This is where I shut up now right?"
(Herb)"Good answer."

(Jack)"Lori, I love you with all my heart. BUT...and not my butt, and definitely not your butt.....BUT, I can't do both hon. Wrestling at the level that I'm at is too damn demanding and what..with you and the kid on the way. I'm really sorry Lori. I'm really damn sorry."

(The crowd begins to gasp as Lori's face shows a shocked sadness sweeping over it.)

(Herb)"NO! He's not gonna..he can't! This is his wife damnit!"
(Frank)"Sheesh, hold your horses Herb. Wait...do you have horses?"

(Lori)"Jack, I...."

(Jack)"Did I say I was done yet? I mean...you go and you drop this news on me that I'm gonna be a daddy and then you interrupt me before I get to even finish. You know I need to finish Lori. It's not like me to not finish. Anywho...as I was saying...I'm really damn sorry that I won't be able to wrestle for a year because I'm gonna take a sabbatical to be with my wife and my child!!!!"

(The crowd pops as Lori's smile beams. Even Ian has to clap his hands together and nod at Jack as Mr. Happy is smiling and laughing.)

(Jack)"I gotcha didn't I? Look, I love these fans and I love this federation, but I think anyone who's got half a brain knows that I love my wife THAT MUCH MORE. Lori, you've given me some of the best years of both of our lives. You deserve to be treated like the excelling emperess that you are to me. Perhaps it will be in the cards for me to come back here again and to serve in some capacity with the AWA. However, if it isn't, I won't be upset. I won't cry. More importantly I won't worry and do you know why hon?"

(The crowd begins to hum an all-too-familiar-tune as Jack begins to snap his fingers along)

(Jack)"I WON'T WORRY DOO DOO DOO DOO DEE DEE DOO CAUSE I'M A HAPPY DADDY!!!!!"

(Lori runs over to Jack and hugs him. Jack takes a moment to wipe the tears from her eyes before giving her a very long kiss. Ian holds the ropes and the couple part through the ropes. Once they get down from the apron, Jack lifts her up off her feet and walks her back up the entrance ramp as more yellow pyro’s go off. 'Let's Go Crazy' begins to play again. At the top of the ramp, Jack turns around and looks out at the arena. Lori lowers his HappyShades and he does his trademark scared flinch. Turning around, he goes through the curtains as the credits roll.)

Copyright American Wrestling Alliance, 2002