Hardcore Holidays
(The show opens with the words "Hardcore Chanukah" burning into the screne, when all of a sudden the picture jerks, and the screen goes black. The shot then cuts to President Gray standing in a hallway, obviously pissed!)

Gray-Hardcore Chanukah? Do I LOOK friggin' jewish? What kind of name is THAT for a PPV? I can't even SPELL Chanukah! We're doing things my way now. From here on out this is Hardcore Holidays! If you don't like it, you're FIRED! Oh, and welcome to my show.

(The shot fades to the announce table, where a confused Frank and Herb wait in front of a sold out crowd!)

FJ-Hello ladies and gentlemen! We're here live at... uh, Hardcore Holidays... We've got a great show for you, no matter what the name is. Let's get to the ring for our Light Heavyweight bout.

("The Heart's Filthy Lesson" by David Bowe comes up on the PA system, and Low comes out a HUGE heat. He walks to the ring, with a smug self assurance. He slides into the ring, and awaits his NHL brother, Danny O'Shea.

After a moment, House of Pain's "Jump Around" is cued, and Danny O'Shea comes out to roughly the same heat as, Low. He slides into the ring, and offers his hand to Low. Low takes it, and the two men shake hands.

The bell then sounds, and the two men lock up. O'Shea powers Low into the corner, and the ref goes to make the break. O'Shea backs off for a clean break. Low rushes at O'Shea only to be met with a drop toe hold. O'Shea floats over and locks in a front chancery, Low powers to his feet and throws O'Shea off in a release Northen Lights Suplex. O'Shea does flip, and lands on his feet from the Suplex. Low turns around, and the two are nose to nose. The crowd gives a sporadic cheer for the athleticism displayed by the two men.

Both O'Shea, and Low separate, and they mount opposite turnbuckles facing the crowd. Each raises his hand to the air, and each receives a big heat. They dismount, and turn towards each other. They once again lock up in the center of the ring. Low whips O'Shea into the far ropes, and ducks down for a back body drop, but O'Shea leapfrogs him. O'Shea hits the near ropes, and comes off with an Asai Moonsault. Low catches him, and drops O'Shea with a shoulder breaker. O'Shea rolls on the mat clearly hurting from the shoulder breaker. Low grabs O'Shea by the arm, and locks in a reverse Fujiwara armbar. O'Shea is too close to the ropes though, and grabs the bottom one. The ref forces Low to break the hold, and O'Shea rolls to the outside.

O'Shea rests against the guardrail, with his injured arm at his side. O'Shea, at around 7 on the ref's ten count, gets up to the apron of the ring. Low grabs him, and tries several attempts to suplex him back into the ring, but O'Shea blocks the attempts, and lifts Low up into suplex position. Low squirms out of the suplex, and lands next to O'Shea on the apron. The two men trade punches for a moment, before O'Shea finally gets the advantage. O'Shea springs over the top rope to the inside, then springs BACK over the top to hit Low with a sunset flip powerbomb. Low's back and neck slam against the guardrail and floor, and O'Shea sits on the apron, clutching his still hurting arm. Low struggles to his feet, and O'Shea springs off the apron, but Low moves out of the way. O'Shea ends up with his neck draped over the guardrail. Both men are injured, but Low is able to roll into the ring to stop the count.

Low goes back to the outside, and grabs O'Shea by the hair. Low rolls O'Shea into the ring, and then slides in himself. Low grabs from behind around the waist, but O'Shea gets a standing switch, and hits Low with a reverse ddt. Both men are hurting, and laid out in the center of the ring. The ref begins to make his count. Both men get wearily to their feet, and start to brawl. Low's punches do more damage, but then he takes a wild swing and Danny ducks it. Low knocks out the ref! Low turns around and ducks a clothesline, then hits a stunner on Danny! Low makes the cover but there's no ref to count. Suddenly, High Velocity and Anton hit the ring! Anton deals with Ramona, as HV rolls in the ring and attacks Low! The lay him out with a double DDT then both hit their respected finishers on him, before rolling O'Shea on top. The ref comes to and makes the count, 1,2,3!)

FJ-What a screwjob! But what the hell was the point of that?

(O'Shea comes to, and stands up. Anton hands over the belt, then O'Shea grins and they hug! Anton then tosses him a Major Players shirt, and Danny puts it on! They leave the ring together, as the crowd roars.)

HS-Wow! What a swerve!

(Suddenly a lot of pyro begins to go off.)

HS-What the hell is that? The match is over. SOMEONE TELL THE GUYS IN THE BACK THE MATCH IS ****** OVER!

(After all the fireworks have finished going off “The Beginning of the End” by Rob Zombie begins to play. Of course, this confuses Herb Summer and Frank Jackson. After about 30 seconds of the song the Untouchables (“Fastball” Billy Bounds, “Moto-X” Michael Strom, Erica, the Needle, Spider, and Kelly) step out into the entry way, dressed in their wrestling gear, with their hands held high over their heads. Michael Strom has a mic in hand and steps out in front of the group.)

Michael: CUT OUR MUSIC! (He waits for the crowd to quiet down) Good evening folks and welcome to AWA’s Hardcore Hanukkah. A lot of you may be saying to yourselves what the hell are these guys doing out here. Well I don’t believe we have formally introduced ourselves… we are the AWA’s worst nightmare… we are the Untouchables… together we’re gonna run this place, and there isn’t anything anybody can do about it. You see I’ve sat back and I’ve watched guys get screwed left and right around here and I’ll be damned if that’s gonna happen to me or Billy here. So, you see we went out and we recruited two of the craziest SOB’s in this sport… Infestation.

(Michael hands the mic over to Billy Bounds as he steps back into the line up. Billy steps out in front of the group and begins to speak.)

Billy: You see we looked at the card tonight and we noticed that one thing was missing… and that is, well us. So, we came anyway. There are all kind of matches on this card that we could get involved in… I mean, are very interested in. Who knows we just might get a closer later on tonight.

(Billy steps back and hands the mic to the Needle, who then steps out in front and begins to speak.)

The Needle: Once we thought these guys were nothing but low-life sacks of sh*t! But they're quite impressive. After all, they did prove that they could beat us. And well, instead of yaking at each other back and forth, we decided we'd let bygones be bygones. After all, we're that more devastating when we've got four of us instead of two. I think I speak for myself and my partner Spider too. (Spider does nothing but stand still and grin, as Needle hands over the mic to Kelly)

Kelly: Being the Needle's girlfriend, I was the one who hated these guys the most. Why, they made me so sick that I could hurl just looking at them. But after discussing some things with Spider and Needle, I decided we could really become the most powerful stable in all of the AWA... even more powerful than the NHL. Our combined forces, with possibly more to join us in the future, are way too much for everybody to handle. And with myself standing at ringside, anybody that wants to mess with us will get a nice crack over the head with a chair.

(Spider still stands grinning as Kelly hands him the mic)

Spider: Because we're Untouchable!

(Spider Hands the mic back to Michael. Michael then steps forward and begins to speak.)

Michael: Kelly brought up a good point about new members joining us and well I’d like to introduce the newest addition to the Untouchables…

(“Rollin” by Limp Bizkit starts to play and DeeJay steps out from the back. Michael turns and shakes DeeJay’s hand and gives him the mic.)

DeeJay: I know what all you are thinking. "Why did DeeJay align himself with the Untouchables?" I'll tell you why! Awhile back I was made an offer (starts speaking in a Godfather tone) I just couldn't refuse. (Chuckles a bit) I was approached by Sports Authority who asked ME; not K.O. Smack, not John Blaze, not Rage, but ME, to join what will soon be the BEST damn stable here in the AWA today! I guarandamntee if anyone gets in the way of the Untouchables, they will be put down by myself, Michael, Billy, Needle, Spider, or hell even Kelly will kick your ass. Oh, and one more thing before I go… South Town Kid, I took a beating for you at the KOEF tournament and the fact that you ignore what I did for you takes this to a whole new level. Southtown Kid I want to fight, no I NEED to fight you, just so I can take out of your hide what I feel you owe me. I'll see you in hell!

(DeeJay gives the mic back to Michael. DeeJay then turns around and shakes the hands of the other members the Untouchables and then turns for back forward to listen to what else Michael has to say.)

Michael: Before I rap this thing up I would like to welcome one more new member to the Untouchables…

(“Eye of the Tiger” by Survivor starts to play and Jack Hadden steps out from the back. He makes his rounds shaking everyone’s hand as Michael continues to speak.)

Michael: Let this be a warning to everyone in the AWA, there is strength in numbers and we have the numbers. You see, we have this philosophy, if your not with us your against us. And, if you decide to go against us then you better be watching over your shoulder, because you never know when or where we might show up.

(Michael drops the mic and the Untouchables leave the entranceway.)

HS-Umm, ok. It's official, every wrestler in this place has a stable.

(The scene cuts to the back, where Danny O'Shea is walking to his car, title in hand. From a side door Rage steps out, and stops the champ.)

Rage-Congrats, champ. (They shake hands) Vampress would like to thank you as well.

Danny-What?

(Vampress slips behind him and low blows him! Rage then hits an outer Rage, then locks on the inner rage! He begins to scream "It's my title" until security breaks it up.)

(The scene cuts to the entryway, where the announcer is standing in front of the ring. Inside the ring, the ring crew is setting up a bed of tacs!)

A-Ladies and gentlemen, it's time for the first round of the King of the Deathmatch Tournament! This match will be for one fall, and it is a bed of thumbtacs deathmatch! (wild pop) Introducing first, weighing in at 210 pounds, representing the N.W.A., Caezer Jackson!

(“Big Pimpin” by Jay-Z is cued, and Caezar Jackson steps out to a very mixed reaction. Caezar walks down to ringside jawing a bit at the crowd, he climbs in the ring and walks over and takes a good hard look at the bed of thumbtacks in the middle of the ring. Caezar walks over to the corner and asks for a mic, but before he can get it “Pour Some Sugar On Me” is cued and Dave “the Rave” Santini hits the ring running. Dave slides into the ring and pops up to his feet, only to be met with a running clothesline from Caezar. Caezar brings Dave back up to his feet and hits a nice text book snap suplex that lands Dave right next to the bed of thumb tacks. Caezar gets back up to his feet and hits a nice leg drop right across Dave’s face. Caezar then brings Dave back up to his feet and sets him up for a powerbomb into the thumbtacks. The crowd pops at the possibility of Dave going into the thumbtacks. Caezar plays to the crowd a bit… Dave drops to his knees and puts Caezar down to the mat with a low blow. Dave slowly rises to his feet and walks over to the fallen’ Caezar and drops a knee into the forehead of Caezar. Dave then straddles Caezar and begins to lay into him with lefts and rights. Dave stands up and brings Caezar back up to his feet as well. Dave hits a beautiful atomic drop that sends Caezar to the outside. Dave walks over to the corner and perches himself on the top turnbuckle. Caezar begins to get back up to his feet and as he turns around Dave comes off the top and puts Caezar back down with a double ax handle to the head. Dave picks Caezar back up to his feet and irish whips him into the steel post, Caezar hits the ground and seems to be in a lot of pain. Dave walks over to Caezar, with a big smile on his face, and brings him back up to his feet. Dave attempts to irish whip Caezar into the ring post again but amazingly Caezar reverses it and falls back to the floor. Dave bounces of the pole and hits the ground like a ton of bricks. Both men are down and don’t seem to be moving. Finally Dave begins to stir a bit and gets back to his feet. Dave goes and pulls a table out from under the ring, as he is setting it up Caezar finds his way back to his feet. Dave finishes setting up the table, turns around and is meet with super kick. Dave slumps down to his knees. Caezar brings Dave back up to his feet and plants Dave with a nice double arm DDT. Caezar slowly gets back up to his feet and picks up Dave, places his head between his legs and powerbombs Dave through the table. Caezar then climbs up onto the ring apron. Caezar backs up and gets a running start and jumps off in an attempt to hit Dave with flipping elbow drop but Dave moves out of the way and Caezar lands onto the already crumbled table. Both men immediately begin to rise up to their feet. Dave and Caezar end up eye to eye and begin to throw rights and lefts at each other. Caezar starts to get the upper hand and goes for a side leg lariat but Dave ducks it, turns around and lays the stunned Caezar out with a clothesline. Dave picks up Caezar and tosses him back into the ring, he then walks over and pulls the timekeeper out of his chair and throws it into the ring. Dave slides back into the ring and picks up the chair and readies himself as Caezar brings himself back up to his feet. Dave takes a big swing but Caezar ducks it. Dave stumbles forward and almost trips into the bed of thumbtacks but is able to regain his balance. Dave turns around and is nearly met with a drop kick from Caezar but is able to side step it. Caezar jumps right back to his feet only to be met with a stiff chair shot to the head from Dave putting him back down to the mat. Caezar is split wide open and the blood begins to stream down his face.

Dave begins to gloat and turns his attention away from Caezar and to the crowd. Caezar rolls out to the floor and crawls under the ring. When Dave finally turns around he is stunned to find Caezar gone. Dave walks over to the ropes and looks down to the floor but still no Caezar. Dave walks the perimeter of the ring looking for Caezar but still he can’t find him. Dave jumps out of the ring and begins to walk up the entryway in search of Caezar, thinking he retreated to the back. The bloody Caezar then slides out from under the ring with a Singapore cane with barbed wire wrapped around it. Caezar tosses the cane into the ring and walks up behind Dave and taps him on the shoulder. Dave turns around and ducks a big right hook from Caezar. Dave then throws a right of his own followed by a left that puts Caezar down to the floor. Dave picks Caezar up and walks him back down to ringside. Dave lifts Caezar up into a press slam position and tosses him into the ring through the top and middle rope. Caezar lands right next to the barbwire cane and lays there motionless. Dave pulls himself up onto the ring apron then walks to the corner and climbs to the top. Suddenly, Caezar jumps up to his feet with the cane in hand, he runs to the corner and hits Dave in the head with cane busting him wide open.

The crowd erupts in delight over the spilling of Dave Santini’s blood.

Dave falls off the top rope and nearly landing in the bed of thumbtacks. Caezar then climbs to the top rope with cane in hand and waits for the bloodied Dave to get to his feet. Dave barely brings himself back up to his feet and turns around as Caezar comes off the top rope with a huge cane shot over Dave’s head causing him to bleed even more.

The Crowd now begins to chant “Holy Sh*t! Holy Sh*t!”

Dave falls to his hands and knees next to the bed of thumbtacks. Caezar then begins to parade around ring holding the cane high over his head playing to the crowds chant. Caezar turns around and prepares himself to lay into Dave with the cane once again. As Dave starts to rise up to his knees he grabs a hand full of thumbtacks and throws them into Caezar’s face blinding him. Caezar drops the Singapore cane and grabs his face. Dave quickly jumps to his feet and with ever last bit of his energy picks up Caezar turns him and hit the Ravin’ Driver into the bed of thumb tacks. Dave then pulls Caezar out of the thumbtacks and covers him for the three count. Dave's hand is raised, but Santini seems to snap! Santini suddenly press slams the ref onto the bed of tacs, and then chokeslams Ceazer as well!)

FJ-What the heck? He won the match..

HS-Santini has finally snapped... somebody pull my car around front, I'm outta here.

(Santini marches to the back, bloodied and wild eyed)

A-This next match is scheduled for one fall, and is a glass pane death match! Introducing first, weighing in at 315 pounds, he's SABOTAGE!

(“Sabotage” by the Beastie Boys is cued, Sabotage steps out into the entryway and raises his hands up over his head. Creature of the Night then steps out right behind Sabotage to a nice pop from the crowd.

Sabotage begins to walk down to the ring, but before he can even make his second step CON drives his head into the ground with a nice bulldog. CON rises to his feet and picks up Sabotage and drags him to the ring by his hair. CON rolls Sabotage into the ring and then slides in after him. CON brings Sabotage back up to his feet and sends him to the ropes with an irish whip. Sabotage comes off the ropes and ducks CON’s attempt at a clothesline. Sabotage continues to the other side of the ring and comes off the ropes and hits CON with a flying forearm. Sabotage gets back up to his feet and drops an elbow to CON’s chest. Sabotage again gets to his feet and picks CON up to his feet as well. Sabotage irish whips CON to the corner and follows him with a knee to the gut. Sabotage steps back and CON slumps down to the mat. Sabotage picks CON back up to his feet and tries to irish whip him to the opposite corner but CON reverses it and sends Sabotage chest first into the turnbuckle. CON grabs Sabotage and picks him up into a traditional body slam position. CON walks over to the ropes and slams Sabotage over the top rope down thru one of the pieces of pane glass that has been set up on saw horses outside the ring. Sabotages back begins to bleed almost immediately.

The crowd lets out a huge roar of approval.)

FJ-The fans don't care much for Sabotage, do they Herb?

HS-Who the hell cares? Fans don't write that fat check every month.

(CON slides out of the ring and grabs Sabotage and picks him back up to his feet. CON sets up Sabotage for a powerbomb. CON hoists up Sabotage and sends him through another pane of glass causing Sabotages back to bleed even more.

The crowd is now is going nuts, everyone is on their feet.

CON picks up Sabotage and rolls him back into the ring. CON then climbs back into the ring picks Sabotage back up to his feet and lands a devastating heart punch. CON drops down and covers Sabotage but Sabotage is able to get a shoulder up after a two count. CON seeming a bit frustrated, gets back to his feet and picks Sabotage back up. CON throws Sabotage over his shoulder for a powerslam, but Sabotage slides off of CON’s shoulder and pushes him into the corner. CON quickly turns around only to be hit with a perfectly placed dropkick by Sabotage. Sabotage wastes no time and goes for the pin but CON kicks out after only a one count. Both men get to their feet and start to exchange rights. Sabotage begins to get the upper hand and delivers a devastating double handed chokeslam putting CON back down to the mat. Sabotage slides out of the ring and grabs a steel chair, he then slides back into the ring with the chair and waits for CON to get back to his feet. CON slowly rises to his feet only to be dropped again with a chair shot to the head. Sabotage slides out of the ring again and this time he grabs a pane of glass and slides it into the ring. Sabotage then gets up on the ring apron, but drops back down to the floor, he walks over to something that was partially sticking out from under the ring. Sabotage reaches down and pulls the barbwire wrapped Singapore cane out from under the ring.

The crowd goes wild in anticipation.

Sabotage rolls into the ring with the cane and gets to his feet as CON slowly pulls himself up to his feet with the help of the ropes. CON turns around only to be met with a viscous shot over the head with the cane. CON’s head is split wide open as blood begins to gush out of multiple wounds left by the barbwire. Sabotage walks over to the pane of glass and slides it to the middle of the ring. Sabotage then turns around to find that CON has managed to pull himself back up to his feet, so Sabotage grabs the cane and again lays CON out with a shot over the head that breaks the cane in two. Sabotage picks CON back up to his feet then nails CON with a jackhammer right on the pane of glass. Sabotage hooks the leg and gets the three count.)

FJ-What a brutal match! Sabotage moves on to face Dave Santini in the second round!

HS-That is if Santini can find the ring! He's on a warpath!

(The shot cuts back the back, where a Bloody Santini is charging down the hall, Equalizer in hand. He kicks open a door where a few backstage guys are taking a break. They get up to run, but he lays them all out before slamming one of them through a table! Crappie Jack the wrestling pirate looks in the room and immediatly tries to run, but Santini catches him and delivers a ravin' driver on the concrete! The shot cuts back to ringside)

FJ-Why is he attacking people, Herb? I don't get it.

HS-Frank, he's nuts. Don't question it, just accept it.

Hardcore Holidays
(The scene cuts to the ring-side announce table where Herb Summers and Frank Jackson are seen sitting with their head-phones on. Under them, their names are quickly flashed in a caption, as they begin again their ringside commentary.)

FRANK: So far this has been one of the most Hardcore nights the AWA has ever seen, highlighted by the one and only King of the Deathmatch tournament… Even as we speak the ring crew is slowly but surely getting the next match set-up…

(Herb interrupts Frank.)

HERB: Do you see what I see Frank?

(The camera cuts to the ring where a bed of nails is seen being placed into the ring. As the ring crew positions it, the scene goes back to the AWA announce table.)

FRANK: I sure do… It looks like the next match of this tournament is going to end up being the classic Bed of Nails match… I’m not even going to get into the damage those things can cause… With the next two competitors, I wouldn’t be surprised if whoever came out as the winner really won’t be a winner at all…

(The camera zooms into the bed of nails showing their needle-points sticking out from the wooden base.)

FRANK: This is going to get ugly…

(With that, the King of the Deathmatch logo is shown on the Ameri-tron as the brackets are seen showing the progression of the eight competitors. Finally, as it goes down the list of names, the list stops on Jack Happy and Shadow. As this is occurring, the ring announcer steps into the ring.)

RING ANNOUNCER: Ladies and gentlemen… The AWA proudly brings to you, this, the third match-up in the first round of the King of the Deathmatch tournament… Coming to the ring first, weighing in at 225 lbs, he is a former Hardcore champion, AWA superstar, SHADOW!

(With that, the fans come to their feet welcoming the first entrant to the arena. Slowly but surely, “Who Wants to Live Forever” builds up the commotion as finally Shadow steps from behind the curtain. Welcomed with an orchestra of boos, Shadow struts his way down to the ring, soaking in the crowd reaction. As he steps into the ring and stands on a turnbuckle, playing for the fans, the ring announcer begins his next introduction.)

RING ANNOUNCER: (As Shadow’s music kicks off.) …Next, coming to the ring, weighing in at 230 lbs, he is a former Hardcore and World heavyweight champion, he is AWA superstar, JACK HAPPY!

(With that, “Party Man” fills the loudspeakers as the fans seem to react more warmly towards Jack Happy than they did Shadow. In fact, some fans even cheered for the clown with the bulging love handles J )

FRANK: This promises to be a great match-up as both competitors are former Hardcore title holders, so you know for a fact they have what it takes to take it to the extreme…

(Jack Happy enters the ring, instantly attacked by Shadow who was waiting in a crouched positon. As Shadow began to wail on Happy with lefts and rights, the ring announcer climbed quickly out of the ring, and the ref called for the bell…)

DING

DING

DING

KING OF THE DEATHMATCH ROUND 1: Jack Happy v. Shadow (Bed Of Nails)

HERB: See… That’s what it takes to be Hardcore… You can’t even let the fight get to you, you have to take yourself to the fight…

(In the ring, Shadow continues his beatdown on Happy, but slowly and surely, Happy begins to gain a center of gravity, and due to his love handles, that was a rather large center of gravity… Shadow hits Happy one more time in the head with a stiff right hand, before finally, Happy raises his head, and seemingly entices Shadow to hit him once more. Not quite knowing what to do, Shadow answers with another attempted right, but this time Happy was expecting it. Quickly raising his forearm, Happy blocks the punch by Shadow, stunning the smaller man, and follows it up with a quick swift to the gut which sends Shadow keeling over.)

FRANK: Happy was just absorbing those blows by Shadow in the early going… It looks like they enticed this man even more…

(Happy signals to the Bed of Nails that was lying in the center of the ring, as soon as he does, the fans erupt in massive cheers. Always one to give the fans what they want, Happy grabs a hold of the still keeling over Shadow and places him in the power-bomb position. The fans begin to cheer even louder, as Happy grabs Shadow by the waist and positions himself for the attempt…)

FRANK: It looks like it could be a…

(As Happy takes a hold of Shadow, attempting to pull him up, Shadow quickly drops to his knees and delivers a fierce low blow to Happy. The fans begin to boo, as the ref just shrugs his shoulders… There was nothing the ref could do about it, this is Hardcore, not some pansy normal match.)

HERB: I wonder if Luscious Lori is still going to be interested in Happy after that low-blow… Maybe now’s the time to profess my love to her…

FRANK: (Shaking his head.) You do that almost every time you get the chance, and does it ever work? (There is no response.) …Well, does it?

HERB: (Ignoring Frank) …Where’s your attention at, there’s a match going on in the ring…

(Frank just rolls his eyes as Shadow tries to gain the advantage after the low blow. Using all the strength he possessed, Shadow irish-whipped Happy across the ring, following it up with a quick drop-kick as Happy made his way back towards Shadow. Shadow quickly gets up, and begins to play for the fans again, receiving more boos. Happy remained clutching his gut on the mat, as Shadow towers over him.)

HERB: It looks like Happy has got himself into some trouble with Shadow…

(After he was done playing for the crowd, Shadow quickly tried to cover Happy with a lateral press. The ref falls to his knees and begins the count…)

FRANK: 1… 2… KICK-OUT!

(With a massive exertion of strength, Happy kicked out of Shadow’s pin with such force Shadow went across the ring. Shadow quickly gets up and locks in a sleeper on Happy as soon as he tried to get up.)

HERB: TAP HAPPY, TAP!

(Happy slowly but surely, sinks to his knees due to Shadow’s weight on his shoulders. The fans begin a stomping chant, as Happy begins to fight the hold.)

FRANK: Here we go folks!

(As Happy once again comes to his feet, much to the bewilderment of Shadow, the fans begin stomping even louder. Using a show of strength unforeseen by either competitor, Happy picks Shadow up and holds him in a Back Body Drop position. Positioning himself, Happy drops Shadow and ultimately himself on the Bed of Nails. The fans gasp at the pain it must’ve caused as Happy and Shadow both crash into the Bed of Nails with a loud BANG!)

FRANK and HERB: OH MY GOD!

(Both men slowly roll of the Bed of Nails as the crowd chants "Holy Sh*t", as the ref begins the mandatory ten count.)

FRANK: If either of the men can’t answer the ten count… This match is over…

(The ref gets to five, when there is still no movement from either man… The fans begin to count with the ref.)

6…

7…

8…

(Out of nowhere, Shadow comes to his feet and wearily walks over to the still struggling Happy. The ref looks at Shadow, and the continues the count for Happy…)

9…

FRANK: This is it folks, Shadow has won this round of the…

(Jumping the gun so to speak, Shadow takes this opportunity not to get the easy win, but much to the ref’s amazement, to pull Happy off of the ground. Shadow throws Happy over the edge of the top-rope, as the ref is forced to stop the count.)

FRANK: What was Shadow thinking, he had this match won if he would’ve just waited for the ten count!!!

HERB: Its called strategy Frank… Shadow always has a strategy…

(As Happy is still struggling on the outside, Shadow runs to the opposite ropes and takes a running dive towards Happy on the outside. Somehow, Happy was able to pull a chair from next to the railing and place it between him and Shadow’s suicidal body.)

HERB: That’s illegal! Happy should be disqualified for that!

FRANK: Its perfectly legal… Anything goes…

(Happy shakes off his wounds, as Shadow lies motionless on the concrete on the outside. Holding up the chair, Happy waits for the fans wave of cheers before he brings the chair down on the back of Shadow. Shadow wheels forward, as Happy once again cracks his back with another shot from the chair.)

HERB: This is not right… He shouldn’t be able to use a chair like that!

(Happy takes another swing at Shadow, who crawls slowly to the turnbuckle on the outside. Happy connects once again with massive force, as Shadow struggles to grab a hold of the turnbuckle.)

HERB: Come on, somebody do something!

(Happy winds up again for another chair shot, but this time, it was telegraphed too much. Shadow quickly ducks out of the way of the chair shot, causing the chair to stun Happy as it connect with full-force against the turnbuckle. Shadow then turns around and drives Happy’s head into the mat-covered asphalt with a massive DDT.)

FRANK: Happy is going to feel that one in the morning…

(Shadow quickly hits himself briskly in the head, shaking out the cobwebs, as he grabs a hold of Happy’s head. Taking Happy by the shorts, Shadow throws Happy into the ring and quickly climbs to the top of the turnbuckle. Crouching he waits as Happy comes to. Happy turns around not facing the ring post that Shadow is on top of, but as soon as he does face Shadow, Shadow leaps from the turnbuckle and nails another drop kick to Happy’s midsection. Shadow once again gets up and tries for the cover.)

FRANK: Another cover…

(The ref once again begins the count…)

1…

KICK OUT!

(Shadow sits angered at the ref… He was confused as to how that only got a one count. Picking up Happy, Shadow’s frustration begins to show as he irish-whipped Happy into the ropes. As Happy came back, Shadow attempts a clothesline, which is ducked by Happy, followed by Happy springing back off the ropes and connecting with a clothesline of his own. The fans once again come to their feet as Shadow struggles to HIS feet.)

FRANK: Massive clothesline by Happy!

(With the advantage in his grasp, Happy once again signals to the Bed of Nails. As before, the fans raise up in a series of cheers, followed by Happy grabbing a hold of the dazed Shadow. This time lifting Shadow up, Happy drives Shadow into the Bed of Nails with a huge power-bomb. Shadow immediately grabs his back.)

FRANK: That could’ve killed Shadow… Did you see the impact on that?

(As Shadow still grabs his lower-back, Happy runs over and quickly places him in a power-slam position. With Shadow firmly in his grasp, Happy runs over to a turnbuckle, and bounces off with Shadow as his cushion. As soon as he bounced off, power-slammed Shadow into the bed of nails, driving the nails upward into Shadow’s back.)

FRANK: Wherever this last reserve of Happy’s has came from, I don’t know, but the fans are definitely loving this…

(Happy quickly points to the turnbuckle, as he pats his stomach afterward.)

FRANK: He can’t be thinking about… Oh no, he’s gonna…

(Before Frank could even complete his sentence, Happy was on the top of the turnbuckle, jumping off at the susceptible Shadow. The fans stand in amazement as Happy shows pure reckless abandon.)

FRANK: ITS GONNA BE A…!!!

(Finally connecting with Shadow with a massive splash from the top-rope onto the bed of nails, both men spasm in quick agony as the nails begin to leave their mark.)

FRANK AND HERB: BELLY BOMB!

FRANK: That’s it… There’s no way Shadow is getting up from that…

(As soon as Happy regains his composure, he quickly covers Shadow on the bed of nails, the ref begins to make the count.)

FRANK: 1…2…3! Happy has won his right to advance in the second round of the King of the Deathmatch tournament, and after what we just witnessed, he definitely deserves it, if not the outright crown of the most hardcore competitor in the AWA…

HERB: Shuddup Frank… WINNER AND ADVANCING: Jack Happy

(As the ring is cleaned up once again, the scene cuts back to the announce table where Frank and Herb sat.)

FRANK: …Another impressive victory for Jack Happy… Chalk another up for the love handles…

HERB: (Arching an eyebrow at his co-worker.) For the love of God, don’t ever say that again…

(With the ring cleared, the ring announcer makes his way back to the center of the ring. Pausing a moment as the fans calm down, he begins the final first round King of the Deathmatch bracket.)

RING ANNOUNCER: Ladies and gentlemen… Here we go, the final bracket of the first round of the King of the Deathmatch tournament… Are you ready?

(Stealing a line from Michael Buffer, the ring announcer doesn’t get much of a response.)

RING ANNOUNCER: I said are you ready?!?\ (Still not getting the response he wanted, because he just wasn’t Michael Buffer, the ring announcer just shook his head.)

RING ANNOUNCER: Okay… Whatever… I was just out here trying to get everyone psyched for the match, but instead no… I get nothing… Why can’t you guys just give me that, do I ask for anything?!?

(As the ring announcer was pleading with the fans, he didn’t realize that the Reverend was behind him. The Reverend taps the ring announcer on the shoulder as he almost smiles when the ring announcer turns around. Obviously scared, the ring announcer tries to back away, but he is not quick enough. The Reverend quickly removes a chain from within his cloak and uses it to wrap around the ring announcer’s neck and then throwing him across the ring. As the boos erupt, the ring announcer quickly rolls out of the ring.)

HERB: I almost feel sorry for that guy… He just wanted to have the spotlight for a moment…

FRANK: He got it alright… He gave the Reverend a chance to show-case his ability to wrestle the next type of a match… A four foot steel chain match…

(The Reverend waits patiently in the ring, still grabbing a hold of the length of steel chain. “Gamma Goblins Pt. 2” plays the arena as out of nowhere, Carn-Evil enters the ring from behind the Reverend. Stealing a page out of the Reverend’s book, Carn-Evil taps the Reverend on the shoulder followed by a quick punch to the face as the reverend turns around. The Reverend stumbles back as he drops the chain from his hands. The ref has no choice but to call for the bell.)

DING…

DING…

DING… KING OF THE DEATHMATCH ROUND 1: The Reverend vs. Carn-Evil (Steel Chain Match)

(In the ring, Carn-Evil continues a barrage of rights and lefts on the Reverend, finally cumulating in a big boot to the face that sends the Reverend reeling. Carn-Evil takes this opportunity to grab a hold of the length of steel chain, wrapping it loosely around his wrist.)

FRANK: If you thought the last match was bad, this match is already looking to turn out a lot worse…

(As the Reverend comes to his feet, Carn-Evil connects with the length of steel chain, busting the Reverend’s forehead open just barely. The Reverend turns around and grabs his forehead in pain, as Carn-Evil grabs the length of rope, wrapping it around the Reverend’s neck. Instead of just allowing Carn-Evil to do so, the Reverend uses his upper-body strength to flip Carn-Evil over his shoulder into the mat. The chain begins to wrap its way around the two competitors, making it already, a massive knot.)

FRANK: The Reverend just needs to follow up on his advantage… He can’t let Carn-Evil have to much of a rest… He’s too talented of a wrestler…

(Though stunned, Carn-Evil grabs a hold of the length of chain at his feet. With a quick tug, the chain wraps around Reverend’s leg and causes him to be tripped to the mat. Carn-Evil stands up and uses a quick stomp to the Reverend’s gut to slow any motion that Reverend was starting to have.)

HERB: This is just starting to get good…

(As the Reverend was still on the mat, Carn-Evil climbs to the top rope after throwing the chain on top of Reverend’s body. Playing briefly for the crowd, Carn-Evil takes a flying leap from the top rope. Instead of just laying still though, Reverend uses Carn-Evil’s brief hesitation to his advantage. As soon as Carn-Evil committed himself to the leap, Reverend rolls out of the way, causing Carn-Evil to land on nothing but the steel chain. Immediately, Carn-Evil grabs his lower back-side.) FRANK: There was nobody home for that one…

(Taking an end of the steel chain, the Reverend uses it much as a bull whip. Taking it to the back of Carn-Evil, the Reverend unmercilessly attacks Carn-Evil with the chain length. As the fans grimace in pain, the Reverend continues his assault on Carn-Evil.)

FRANK: Things aren’t looking good for Carn-Evil…

(Using his advantage, the Reverend once again wraps the chain around Carn-Evil’s neck… With it tightly wrapped around his opponent’s neck, Reverend picks up Carn-Evil in a vertical suplex, and with one quick motion, he sends his opponent over the top-rope, hanging Carn-Evil over the steel cable. Carn-Evil struggles as the Reverend has the chain in his hands, not letting him fall to the ground.)

FRANK: Oh my god… Reverend is going to hang Carn-Evil with that steel cable… Somebody’s got to stop this monster…

(The Reverend continues to wrench back on the steel chain as Carn-Evil still hangs helplessly over the top rope. Out of nowhere, Carn-Evil is able to grab a hold of the ring apron and pull down causing the Reverend to flip over the top rope, sending the chain and Carn-Evil with him. Both men land on the outside, as Carn-Evil instantly gasps for air.)

FRANK: Somehow, Carn-Evil escaped from that…

(On the outside, Carn-Evil took the advantage as he irish-whipped the Reverend into the steel guard rail. As the Reverend caught it with his back, Carn-Evil followed it up with a clothesline sending the Reverend over the top of the guard rail. Climbing over the guard rail, Carn-Evil and the Reverend begin exchanging left and rights with the steel chain lying on the guard rail besides them. Slowly but surely, Carn-Evil was able to push the Reverend back even further into the audience as the ref followed closely behind, trying to no avail to get the two men back into the ring.)

FRANK: The ref is trying hard to restore some order here, but as it is, he’s not getting anywhere…

(Carn-Evil attempts another right hand, but this time, Reverend sees it coming. Using his strength, Reverend takes Carn-Evil’s hand and whips him back towards the guard rail. Tumbling head over heels due to where Carn-Evil hit the rail, Carn-Evil ended up back on the outside of the ring. The fans cheer as Reverend takes a running leap over the guard rail, connecting a huge flying clothesline on Carn-Evil.)

HERB: That almost took off Carn-Evil’s head… (Pause.) …Do it again!

(As the ref follows the two men back over the guard rail, the Reverend takes the chain and wraps it around his fist. Using it much like a pair of brass knuckles, the Reverend begins to bash Carn-Evil over the head with the length of steel.)

FRANK: Those shots are really beginning to take their toll on Carn-Evil…

(With another shot, the Reverend busts Carn-Evil open with the steel chain. Carn-Evil begins to bleed from his forehead, much like the Reverend was doing earlier. Taking Carn-Evil by the head, the Reverend rolls him back into the ring, following him closely behind with the chain.)

FRANK: This is about to get even uglier…

(Standing over Carn-Evil, the Reverend begins to bash his head with the steel chain still wrapped around his wrists. The blood running from Carn-Evil’s head begins to flow even more freely, as Carn-Evil could not defend himself from the massive attack. Finally having enough of that, the Reverend runs to the ropes, and as he comes back, he delivers a fist drop to Carn-Evil with the massive chain still wrapped around his fists. Carn-Evil spasms in pain as the Reverend picks him up by the head once again. Gripping him by the shoulders, the Reverend throws Carn-Evil over his head with a huge T-Bone suplex. Carn-Evil hits the ground with a sickening splat…)

FRANK: Carn-Evil is truly getting killed in that ring…

(Reverend quickly covers Carn-Evil following the move, and as the ref attempts the count, Carn-Evil begins to show signs of life.)

1…

2…

Thre----…

FRANK: NO! Carn-Evil got his foot on the rope… This one is not over yet folks…

(Finally getting frustrated, the Reverend wraps the steel chain around Carn-Evil’s neck in a strangle-hold, his trademark maneuver.)

FRANK: This has got to be it folks… There is no way Carn-Evil is going to be getting out of the Altar at this point in the match…

(As Carn-Evil struggled for breath, the Reverend reared back even more. When Carn-Evil slowly but surely saw no signs of revival, the ref went in for the count.)

FRANK: If his hand drops three times, this one is over folks…

1…

2…

(Before the ref could drop Carn-Evil’s hand the third time, a midget comes running from the audience. Wielding a massive (for his height that is) steel chair, the midget runs to the ring. With the ref focused on Carn-Evil, the midget slips in the ring undetected. Coming from behind the Reverend, the midget swings the chair at the man. With a thud, the Reverend breaks the hold, as the midget bails from the ring. The ref, still not quite sure of what was going on shrugs his shoulders as the midget waves at him from the outside.)

HERB: That midget must’ve escaped from Gray’s private stash!!!

FRANK: Um… Okay… But that’s not really the point… That midget might’ve just saved Carn-Evil this match…

(Carn-Evil was barely able to roll over, but as he did, his arm fell across the body of the Reverend, who still had a hold of the steel chain. The ref falls to his knees to make the count…)

FRANK: Now this has GOT to be it…

1…

2…

FRANK: THREE! We have a winner Carn-Evil has…

(Before Frank could finish, the ref stood up holding up the two figures signifying it was only a two count.)

FRANK: What a show of endurance… Somehow the Reverend was able to get up a shoulder…

(As the midget watched shocked on the outside, the Reverend gets up before Carn-Evil. Attempting a clothesline, Carn-Evil somehow manages to duck it… With the Reverend slow in turning around, Carn-Evil nails his Hell’s Circus choke slam. With a last ditch of strength, he once again covers Reverend.)

FRANK: Hell’s Circus! Hell’s Circus! Hell’s Circus!

1..

2…

3…

FRANK: This one is over, somehow Carn-Evil has managed to pull off the victory… He advances to the next round of the King of the Deathmatch tournament…

WINNER AND ADVANCING: Carn-Evil

(With that, Carn-Evil slowly rolls out of the ring and walks to the back alongside his midget friend.)

(The shots cuts back to the backstage area, where Santini is still on a rampage. Dr. Cho, the backstage director hurries up to Santini as Dave destroys a coke machine)

Cho-Dave! Dave! Calm down, son! You've got a match against Sabotage coming up!

Santini-Sabotage!?

(Santini shoves Cho out of the way, and stalks down the hall. He finally finds Sabotage's dressing room and kicks open the door! Santini attacks the former World Champion from behind, and sends him to the concrete! Security finally breaks it up.)

FJ: We are back with our tag team championship three way dance. In the ring, we have Weston Steel facing Drake Hyde of D-Nutts.

(Steel executes a Russian leg sweep. Dropping Hyde to the mat. Steel applies tthe arm wrench to the downed man. Hyde attempts to fight through pain. But Steel is relentless as he cranks the arm tighter. Hyde drops to one knee under the pressure. Steel delivers a series of knees to the head as he has the armwrench applied. He lets Hyde fall dazed to the mat as he drags him by his short black hair to the cormer where he tags in Irons.)

HS: Steel has grounded Hyde. Hyde is most effective when he has the freedom to move about the ring .

(Irons comes into the ring on fire. He uncorks a series of right hands that have Hyde on his heels. Irons goes to the well once to often and Hyde blocks one of the blows. Hyde executes a double underhook suplex sending Irons crashing overhead. Hyde then runs Irons over with a double axe handle to the back before tagging in D-Struction. D-struction comes in and meets Irons with a right hand of his own. Irons is rocked wtih the blow allowing D-struction to whip him into the ropes. Irons rebounds into a running shoulder tackle by D-struction. Irons is knocked to the mat. D-struction uses a series of clubbing forearms as Irons attempts to get to his feet. D-struction goes to pull Irons up and is caught by a headbutt to the face. D-struction recoils allowing Irons to crawl through the larger man's legs and make a tag to "Sureshot".)

FJ: Irons was taking a pounding at the hands of D-struction.

HS: That was some quick thinking! It sure got him out of the jam he was in.

("Sureshot" wastes no time by delivering a dropkick to the knee of the on rushing big man. D-struction's leg is taken out from under him and he is hopping on one leg. "Sureshot" returns to his feet and begins to kick the injured leg. D-struction tries to protect th leg by swinging wildly. He takes him down to one knee with another dropkick to the knee. Sureshot uses the ensiguri to the back of the head to send D-struction to the mat. He hurries and scales to the top turnbuckle. Sureshot launches himself off attempting a missle dropkick, but D-struction was doing more acting than being in actual trouble. D-struction swats him away sending Sureshot crashing hard.)

FJ: High risk manuvers can sometimes leave you coming up short. What a momentum stealer!

(D-struction hoists the Sureshot up and delivers a running shoulder breaker. D-struction tags Hyde back into the ring. Stomps the injured shoulder of Sureshot while he attempts to recover. Each stomp sends a jolt of pain through Sureshots arm and shoulder. Hyde applies a wrist lock. Sureshot groans in pain.)

HS: D-Nutts are focusing on the shoulder. If they can incapacitate that limb, Sureshot will be in some serious trouble.

(Hyde pulls him in for a half nelson suplex. Once agian, Sureshot's shoulder is driven into teh mat. Hyde tags in Irons with a slap to the face as he darts by. An enraged Irons attempts to go after Hyde but the referee heads him off. He turns his attention to Sureshot cutting him off from makeing a tag. Irons scoop slams Sureshot back to the canvas. Irons picks up where D-Nutts left off and drives the knee into the shoulder. Irons pulls him up and applies a headlock. He quickly takes fours steps turning it into a bulldog. He turns him over and attempts the pin. 1..kickout.)

FJ: Sureshot has been in some wars. He won't be defeated that easily.

(Irons delivers the boots a few more times before tagging in Steel. Steel pulls sureshot up. He spits in his palm and drops him with a right hook.He then applies the arm wrench cranking it on and takes Sureshot down with a short clothesline. He goes for the cover but The Fly runs in delivering a kick to the side of the head. The Fly quickly returns to his corner. Steel is pissed about the breaking of the pinfall attempt and points at The Fly.)

FJ: Steel doesn't let those things go easily.

(Steel powers Sureshot up but he manages to float over and deliver a neckbreaker. He makes a diving tag to The Fly who comes into the ring with an attitude.He catches Steel getting to his feet with a flying forearm. Steel is sent back down with the blow. The Fly rushes in pounding away at the former world champion. The Fly whips Steel into the vacant turnbuckle and charges in only to receive a boot to the face. The Fly stumbles back a step or two and Steel tackles him to the mat. Steel is on top of the tag champ unleashing a fury of punches. The referee breaks it up due to the closed fists being employed by Steel. The Fly is seemingly wobbly as Steel tags in Irons to continue the punishment. Irons gets into the ring and pulls The Fly up by the spiked hair. The Fly catches Irons with a elbow to the midsection stunning him. He sends in a right and a left to the midsection before dekuverubg a snap suplex.)

HS: He is battling his way back into this thing.

(He follows up with a viscous brainbuster that leaves Irons convulsing in pain. He covers 1...2.and Hyde sprfings off the ropes delivering a dropkick to the head. The Fly falls to the side shaking off the cobwebs. Irons gets to his feet and lays him out with a clothesline nearly turning The Fly inside out. Irons pounds on him with clubbing blows to the head. Irons whips The Fly toward his own corner where a blind tag is made. Irons comes running forward ducking for the back drop but The Fly clung to the ropes. Sureshot launches himself over the top rope and catches Irons in a sunset flip. The referee begins to count as D-struction attempts to enter the ring 1... The Fly catches him coming in with a superkick sending him backwards. 2....Steel enters the ring but can't get there in time as The Fly manages to lock him up. 3!!! The winner and still tag champions, High Velocity!!)

FJ-What a match! High Velocity retains.

(Sabotage" by the Beastie Boys is cued, and Sabotage steps out onto the stage to decent heat.)

Sabotage-I'm here to make an announcement. Ladies and Gentlemen, I have been booked in a flaming tables match, with the ropes wrapped in barbed wire against Dave Santini. (Decent Pop) HOWEVER, due to his actions backstage, I've petitioned for Mr. Santini to be eliminated from the tournament completely!

FJ-What!? The crowd can't believe it!

Sabotage-Therefore, I will now move on to the finals via bye. I'm terribly sorry, You can all tell how sad I am to miss out an experience like this one. Good day.

HS-Sabotage is a genius!

FJ-Or a fool! Santini IS still in the building! Anyway, on to the battle of the clowns, CarnEvil vs. Jack Happy.

FJ: This match up has been brewing for weeks. Both men made it past their opening round opponents and have made it to the second round . Whomever wins here goes on to wrestle for the title of King of the Deathmatch!!

HS: These two men have been wanting to get at each other for a while. If ever there were a pair destined to meet in this ring, it is the jovial Jack Happy favored clown among the fans and the demented CarnEvil who delights in causing tears instead of laughter.

FJ: Yes.A virtual case of extreme opposites creating a clash of these two titans of clowndom.

[The camera fades in on the ring announcer standing on the outside of the ring. The shot changes to a view of the ring where blood stains the mat and we get a closer look at what lies instore for the two men. We see the ring ropes wrapped in barbed wire and broken glass all across the blood stained mat.]

FJ: I said it once and I will say it again, these guys are nutts!

HS: It certainky takes a special kind of wrestler to participate in these types of matches.

FJ: Exactly, they must be really insane!

[The ring announcer begins to speak. Introducing our next two competitors in this second round, standing 6'-0" and weighing (pauses) a lot more than is listed on this stat sheet. The former World and Hardcore Champion , Mr. Jack Happy! ]

["Fat" by Weird Al plays over the sound system as the man with the bright yellow evil smiley face mask comes through the curtains. His bacndages attest to the first round of competition in the tournament. At his side is the lovely, Luscouis Lori. The crowd cheers at the sight of the pair. Happy climbs into the ring awaiting the new clown on the block with an intense look that is not normally on his face. Gamma Goblins Pt2 by Halucinogen begins to play as the 6'11" 310lb CarnEvil steps onto the ramp. His face is painted white and black in the style of a clown. He is bandaged as well from his previous match up. The big man lumbers toward teh ring amidst the boos from the crowd. A few fans toss popcorn or paper towards him as he passes. He glares at them and continues on stopping at the announcers table. He takes up a microphone and begins to speak.]

CarnEvil: Are you clown enough, Jack! Let's see if you are?

[He begins to climb into the ring and Happy meets him as he gets halfway in. Happy lays in the clubbing forearms before pulling him into the ring. The bell sounds as Jack Happy and CarnEvil are in the ring exchanging blows. CarnEvil blocks Happy's punch and sends a big arm forward in an attempt at a cothesline. Happy ducks under the arm and delivers a knee to the midsection. Jack Happy drives CarnEvil back into the barbed wire ropes with four driving elbowsmashes. He lays his weight upon CarnEvil pressing him against the barbed wire before attempting to whip him across the ring. Small pieces of the silver and black clown suit cling to hte barbs. CarnEvill reverses it and sends Happy into the barbwire ropes. He catches him coming off with a big boot to the face. Happy staggers back nearly taken off of his feet from the blow. CarnEvil takes advantage of the off balanced opponent and clotheslines him back against the barbed wire ropes. Happy sags against the ropes.]

FJ: Powerful blows from the big man. He has Happy on the ropes.

(CarnEvil places his arms on Happy's shoulders making the barbed wire bite into his flesh. Happy spins CarnEvil around but is met by a knee lift to the midsection. CarnEvil pulls Happy in for a suplex, but Happy blocks it. HE reverses the move and powers up the bigger man. He suplexes him onto the glassy mat. Happy gets to his feet and catches the downed clown with solid kicks to the ribs with the clown boots. CarnEvil is gasping for air as the kicks take their toll. Happy pulls CarnEvil up to his knees and delivers a series of jack hammer like punches. He releases CarnEvil and the battered clown falls forward on his hands and knees. Happy goes to pull him up and receives a low blow. Happy doubles over and CarnEvil gouges his eyes.Happy staggers back trying to clear his vision. CarnEvil charges across the ring and delivers a knee lift. Happy crashes to the mat. CarnEvil pulls Happy up into a Gorilla press slam and drops him in a show of strength.

FJ: CarnEvil has 11 inches on Happy and is using his power to take control in the ring.

HS: He is dropping Happy from 7 feet up a least.

(As happy breaks his fall with his hands, glass bites into them. CarnEvil drops the big elbow across his back driving him to the mat. He pulls Happy up and goes for the power bomb, but Happy is able to reverse it. CarnEvil crashes to the mat the result of the backdrop. Happy catches CarnEvil attempting to get to his feet and drives the double axe handle blows across the neck and shoulders. Happy pulls the winded CarnEvil up in his own display of power and delivers a brain buster. CarnEvil shows the effects of the glass embedded in his head as blood stains the mat underneath him.)

FJ: Ohhh, that has to hurt.

(Happy is the first to his feet and begins to stomp the larger man. CarnEvil absorbs teh stomps and manages to catch hold of Happy's clown boot. He sends Happy over to the mat. Glass bites into Happy's hands as he catches himself. CarnEvil is up with a trickle of blood running down his face paint. He catches Happy getting to his feet with an enziguri kick to the back of the head.)

Happy drops back down to the canvas.

FJ: What a move by a three hundred adn ten pound man.

(CarnEvil pulls Happy up into another gorilla press only this time, he tosses him out of the ring. The fans boo as CarnEvil yells, "Jack, you aren't clown enough to beat me!" "Look at him! He is nothing but a joke not a clown!" CarnEvil then climbs to the outside of the ring where Happy is on one knee. He pulls happy up adn goes to drive his face into the glass covered ring apron, but Happy locks his arms preventing it. He then shoots an elbow to the sore ribs of CarnEvil and drives him face first onto the apron. CarnEvil reflexively covers his glass embedded face.)

FJ: This is a scene out of blood sport. What a viscous move these men are out to seriously hurt each other.

(Happy sends the boot to the midsection for an Evenflow DDT. CarnEvil lays face down on the outside mat. Happy stalks over to the time keeper's table. Not knowing the intentions of the bloodied clown, he backs away from him. Happy snatches the chair that belonged to him and stalks back toward CarnEvil who is standing on his knees. Happy brings the chair down, but CarnEvil catches it in his hands. He rips it from a surprised Happy's hands and drives the chair into Happy's midsection. Happy doubles over and CarnEvil brings the chair down on the back of his head. The sound echoes through the arena. Happy drops to the mat covered floor.)

FJ: What a chair shot? Wow!

(CarnEvil rolls Happy into the ring after tossing the metal chair into the ring. He climbs into the ring while Happy still attempts to shake off the cobwebs. CarnEvil stalks the wobbly Happy and locks him in for the German Suplex. Happy crashes to the canvas on the back of his head and shoulders.)

FH: Happy is in trouble. CarnEvil is relentless!

HS: Look at the look of concern on Lori's face.

(CarnEvil drops the big leg across Happy's throat and chest. He goes for the cover 1..2Kickout. CarnEvil is angered by the kickout. He pulls Happy up and attempts another press slam but Happy manages to slide out of it adn locks over the sleeper hold. CarnEvil tries to work his way free but Happy has it locked on. CarnEvil is becoming lethargic as Happy applies the pressure.)

FJ: What heart and determination shown by Happy!

(CarnEvil starts jerking his body lifting Happy off of his feet momentarily. He repeats the action until he is near the ropes. In a display of power, He lifts Happy off of his feet and holds him in the air.)

HS: I think that I know what he is about to do! Oh I can't look!

(He falls backward causing Happy's back to drag across the barbed wire. It rips through clothe and flesh alike. CarnEvil is loose but slow getting up while Happy is laying on his stomach with his back arched and bloody. Happy pounds his bloody hand on the mat blocking out the pain and climbs to his feet. But CarnEvil beats him to his feet and runs through Happy with a clothesline from hell. CarnEvil kicks the downed man, before going after the metal chair. CarnEvil returns with the chair raised high. Happy takes the opportunity to deliver a low blow with his arm. CarnEvil sinks to hsi knees and drops the chair. Happy pulls him in and delivers a face buster onto the dropped chair. He follows up with a cover 1...2kickout!!)

FJ: I can't believe he kicked out after that blow.

HS: His face is a bloody mess!

(Happy gets to his feet and drags the dazzed CarnEvil to the ropes.

FJ: He's not going to ...

(Happy rakes CarnEvil's face across the barbed wire on the ropes. CarnEvil bellows in pain and rage. This seems to snap CarnEvil out of the daze. He turns to face Happy only to receive a a hip toss. CarnEvil crashes down hard but pops up fast. Happy and CarnEvil abandon all wrestling and exchange powerful blows in the center of the ring. Both men are feeling the effects of the blows when CarnEvil lashes out with a kick to the midsection. He follows up with a powerbomb onto the glass covered mat. Happy's back is covered with blood and the costume looks to have gone through a shredder. CarnEvil wipes the blood from his forehead, preventing it from running into his eyes, and flicks it toward the fans. As if to say no sweat. He pulls Happy up and goes for the Hell's Carnival.)

HS: This could be it!

(Happy takes the opportunity of being back to back and delivers the Happy Daze!! CarnEvil is barely moving in the ring. Happy doesn't cover him, but goes for the chair. He sets the chair up and delivers another Happy Daze onto the chair. Happy wearily covers the big man. 1..2...3!! Happy advances in the tournament. He gets to his feet and says "I'm more than clown enough!")

FJ-What a war! Happy will face Sabotage in the finals! But I have to say Sabotage has a huge advantage here, Herb.

HS-Indeed.

FJ-Before that, however, we're going to see the end of a bitter fued. Owens vs. Dream, one more time.

("When The Smoke Clears" by Ghostface Killah is cued, and Crimson Dream steps out among the red pyro! He heads to the ring and rolls in, when suddenly Ray Owens slips out of the crowd with a bat! He rolls into the ring and lays out CD before the match even starts! The ref finally takes the bat away, but the damage has been done! Ray orders the ref to count, and the ref begins to do so. He only gets to 5 when CD gets to his hands and knees, so Ray immediatly goes on the attack again. He begins stomping away at the former World Champion, then locks on a camel clutch. CD suddenly shows his power when he simply stands up, picking up Owens on his shoulders! Dream then falls backwards, splattering the Light Heavyweight. Dream next scales the top rope, but Owens gets up and shakes the rope, crotching Dream. Owens then connects with a belly to belly suplex off the top rope! He forces the ref to count, who only gets to 6 this time. Ray then pulls him up by the mask and begins to drive forearms into his head, when CD suddenly lifts Ray into a press slam, then drops him on his face! Dream allows the ref to count, but Owens is up after 4. Dream next connects with a vertical suplex, and then he rolls out of the ring! Dream digs around under the ring, and pulls out a table! He slides the table in the ring, but is attacked by Owens when he climbs in. Owens stomps away at CD, then begins to choke him! Owens the sets the table up in a corner, and pulls up CD. He attempts to belly to back Suplex CD through the table, but can't get him up. Suddenly Dream mulekicks Owens to the groin! This doubles over Owens, and CD backs up to the far corner and runs at him with a spear! Owens stumbles out of the way however, and CD crashes through the table on his own! Dream lies in the wreckage as the ref begins to count.

1...

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CD pulls himself up by the ring ropes! He is very shaky, and Owens drops him with an armdrag, then locks on The Sweeper! The crowd begins booing madly, as Owens releases the hold and CD lies still on the canvas.

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CD once again finds the reserve to struggle to his feet, and the crowd goes wild! Owens slides out of the ring and pulls out another table, as well as the black bat! He sets the bat on the apron then rolls in and picks up the table. He turns to where CD was laying, but CD was ready! CD then speared Owens while he was holding the table! The table cracks and Owens is slammed to the ground! CD next sets the cracked table up, as the ref counts. Amazingly, Owens gets up, only to walk right into a powerbomb from CD, through the table! The ref counts, and this time he reaches ten! CD wins!)

HS-Wow! Dream has finally put an end to this bloody fued!

FJ-What a match.. folks, they are taking down the ropes at this very moment, and putting up a spidernet of barbed wire instead! This final deathmatch will be a no ropes, barbed wire match, with C4 exploding boards in the ring as well as a bed of glass, and a bed of nails. Anything goes here, folks.

("Sabotage" by the Beastie Boys is cued, and Sabotage steps out, not looking to battered. He carefully rolls in the ring, and waits for his opponent. "Fat" by Weird Al is cued, and Happy limps to ringside. He is obviously been battered tonight, and he rolls in slowly. The two have a staredown in the center of the ring, until Happy breaks the silence with a Clown Kick, followed by a ddt! Happy then puts a front chancery on Sabotage, but Sabotage is able to whip Happy towards the barbed wire! Happy slides on the mat and doesn't hit the barbed wire, but he stands up and is quickly suplexed hard onto the bed of nails! The crowd OOHS, as Happy writhes in pain. Sabotage next pulls the bed of nails ON TOP of Happy, then leg drops the board! He quickly pulls the board out of the way and hooks the leg, but Happy amazingly kicks out! Sabotage pulls Happy up, then delivers a brainbuster! He next sets up Happy for a powerbomb onto one of the C4 boards lying in the ring! Sabotage lifts him up, but Happy blocks it, then backdrops Sabotage onto the C4 board! The board explodes and burns Sabotage's back, as the crowd goes nuts! Happy makes a cover, but only gets a 2. Happy pulls up the charred Sabotage and attempts a Happy Daze, but Sabotage slips out of it, throws Happy into the barbed wire! Happy's momentum carries him over, and Happy is caught hanging in the barbed wire by his chest and neck! The crowd is horrified, until Sabotage delivers an axehandle that drives him to the floor! Happy's suit is torn and he is obviously bleeding. Sabotage next takes the time to set up the bed of nails in the corner of the ring, as Happy slowly and painfully rolls back in. Sabotage grabs Happy and whips him towards the bed of nails, but Happy reverses it then drop toe holds Sabotage face first against the bed of nails! Sabotage is busted open, and Happy pulls Sabotage off the bed then pulls the heavy bed over so it falls right onto Sabotage's already burned back! Happy again goes for a pin, but from some amazing reserve Sabotage come sback! Sabotage struggles to his feet, but Happy lifts Sabotage up as if for an atomic drop, however he then crotches Sabotage ON THE BARBED WIRE! The crowd is amazed, as Sabotage slowly falls to the ring and akwardly lands in the bed of glass! Sabotage is bleeding badly, when suddenly Dave Santini hits the ring running, Equalizer in hand! He gets in Happy's face, and seems to demand his shot at Sabotage!)

FJ-No! Sabotage has had enough! Santini might kill him!

(The bloodied clown looks thoughtful, and finally agrees to let Santini have his shot at Sabotage, who is crawling out of the bed slowly, with bits of glass sticking out of his back! Santini rears back with the Equalizer, but then re-aims and takes out Happy!!!! Sabotage and Santini then double team Happy on the ground!)

FJ-It was a swerve! What the hell is going on!?!?

(Santini sets one of the C4 boards up in the barbed wire, then Santini and Sabotage both whip Happy against it! Happy slams into the barbed wire, then the board explodes, blasting him back to the mat! Happy is obviously hurt, but Santini pulls him up again and delivers a Ravin ' Driver into the bed of Glass, before Sabotage falls on him and gets the 1,2,3!)

A-Your winner, and NEW AWA King of the Deathmatch, Sabotage!!!!

(Santini calls for a mic)

Santini-Gray, Owens, and I have been talking, and we decided it was about time the family got a new member. Welcome home, Sabotage!

FJ-SABOTAGE JOINED THE FAMILY!

HS-I can't believe it.. I never saw it at all...

("Blood and Whiskey" by the Dropkick Murphy's is cued, and Lars steps out onto the stage with his belt around his waist, and a mic in hand.)

Lars-That was a great match.. wonderful.. now, I've got a little title defense right now, and it's gonna take a few minutes to put the ropes back up in place of that barbed wire. SO, Mr. Dragon, how about you and I just tangle in the cage WITH the barbed wire? (Huge pop!)

(Dragon steps out onto the stage)

Erik-If that's what you want Lars, fine by me.

(With that, the two begin to brawl! Erik gets the advantage and pulls Lars to the ring. HE rolls the champ in, and the cage is lowered! Dragon continues to pound at Lars, and he then pulls the belt off of Lars and tosses it in a corner! Dragon connects with a snap suplex, followed by a face slam! Dragon immediatly tries to climb out of the cage, but Lars is up and he pulls him back down. Lars then drags Dragons forehead against the barbed wire! Dragon is busted open, and Lars next attempts to whip Dragon to the barbed wireo n the other side, but Dragon reverses it and whips Lars back into the other side of the ring's barbed wire! Lars is obviously hurt, and Dragon pulls him off then slams his back against the wire again! Lars crumples to the mat, his back bleeding from a dozen wounds. Dragon immediatly attempts a Mahistrol Cradle, but only gets a two count. Dragon next attempts a snap suplex, but Lars does a floatover to a belly to back hold. Dragon executes a go behind into a rear armbar, but Lars fires off to elbows to the head before Dragon spins him around and connects with a spinebuster! The crowd goes nuts as Dragon makes a pin attempt 1,2, kickout! Lars clammers to his hands and knees, and Dragon makes a run at him but Lars quickly stands and delivers a hotshot on Dragon across the barbed wire! Dragon's chest and neck is cut up badly, mingling with the blood from his forehead! Dragon stumbles back to the center of the ring, only to get caught by Lars in a Cradle Piledriver! Lars hooks the leg, but only gets a 2 count! Lars is frustrated, and he goes to the corner of the ring and grabs the World Title belt! Dragon is up again, but Lars blasts him with the gold! Lars then pulls Dragon up again and connects with another Cradle Piledriver onto the belt! Lars hooks the leg and gets a 1,2,3!!!)

FJ-Lars retains!

(Post match, Lars Celebrates until Dragon tries to get up. The crowd is horrified as Lars pulls Dragon up and POWERBOMBS him onto the net of barbed wire! The wire gives, and Dragon crashes to the floor in a cocoon of barbed wire! A bloody lars calls for the mic.)

Lars-chalk another one up for the Champ That Just Might End Your Career.

(Copyright 2000)